羅素:我爲什麼而活?

有三種情感,單純而強烈,支配著我的一生:對愛情的渴望,對知識的追求,以及對人類苦難不可遏制的同情。這些感情如陣陣巨風,挾卷著我在漂泊不定的路途中東飄西蕩,飛越苦悶的汪洋大海,直抵絕望的邊緣。

  

我之所以追尋愛情,首先,愛情使人心醉神迷,如此美妙的感覺,以致使我時常為了體驗幾小時愛的喜悅,而寧願獻出生命中其它一切;其次,愛情可以解除孤獨,身歷那種可怕孤寂的人的戰慄意識,會穿過世界的邊緣,直望入冰冷死寂的無底深淵;最後,置身於愛的結合,我在一個神秘縮影中看到了聖賢與詩人們所預想的天堂。這正是我所追尋的,儘管它對於人類的生活或許太過美好,卻是我的最終發現。

  

我也以同樣的熱情追求知識。我渴望理解人類的心靈,渴望知道星辰為何閃耀,我還試圖領略畢達哥拉斯關於哪些數字在變遷之上保持著永恆的智慧。在這一方面,我取得了一點成果,但並不算多。

  

愛情與知識,盡其可能,引領著我通往天堂;然而憐憫總是把我帶回現實。那些痛苦的呼喚在我內心深處迴響。飢餓中的孩子,被壓迫和折磨的人們,給子女造成重擔的無助老人,以及孤獨、貧窮和痛苦的整個世界,都是對人類理想生活的嘲諷。我渴望能減少這些不幸,但無能為力,這也是我的痛苦。

  

這就是我的一生。我發現人生是值得的;而且如果能夠再有一次這樣的機會,我會欣然接受。

What I have lived for?

  

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

  

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy -- ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness -- that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what -- at last -- I have found.

  

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

  

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

  

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

羅素:我為什麼而活?

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