A Collection of Humorous Short Messages
幽默短信集锦
A diamond lasts forever，but only one diamond may lead to going bankrupt.
钻石恒久远，一颗就破产。
They have backgrounds, while I have my shadow!
人家有的是背景，而我有的是背影！
When we come out to struggle, we'll have to change the telephone numbers sooner or later.
出来混，迟早要换号。
Sometimes people also need the spirit of the closestool, press the button, and everything will be clean.
人有时也需要马桶精神，按一下按钮，什么都干净了。
Distance produces no beauty, but a mistress.
距离产生的不是美，是小三。
While a fatty is eating, the scale is watching.
人在吃，秤在看。
Life is like a phone call, either you hang up first, or I hang up first.
人生就像打电话，不是你先挂，就是我先挂。
A smile is just an expression，which has nothing to do with happiness.
笑只是一个表情，与快乐无关。
Dreams are like underwears, you have to have them, but you needn't prove them to everyone.
理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就证明你有。
It's better to have a regular income than to be fascinating.
与其让人神魂颠倒，不如有份固定收入。
What's the matter with you? Say it and make everyone happy.
你有什么不开心的事？ 说出来让大家开心一下。
When one is sad, no matter how happy the song is, one cannot stop crying.
人在悲伤的时候，不管听多么快乐的曲子，都会止不住流泪。
Tired? That's right, comfort is left for dead persons.
累么？累就对了，舒服是留给死人的。
When happiness knocks on my door, I may not be at home.
当幸福来敲门时，我或许不在家。
It's not hard to be single. What's hard is to deal with people who are trying to get you to stop being single.
单身并不难，难的是应付那些千方百计想让你结束单身的人。