今日话题
中国的古话说”远亲不如近邻”，但好像并不是所有的邻居都那么岁月静好啊！
邻里关系是一种很奇妙的关系。
有时候邻居之间的情谊会很暖心：
有时候又很脆弱，一言不和就动手：
而且，有些陈年旧帐怎么都算不清：
其实，住在一个社区里，摩擦是避免不了的。
那么，整天抬头不见低头见的，面对面的冲突总是会比较尴尬，于是有些人会采取非面对面对抗这种消极攻击的方式来表达自己的愤怒和抗议。
国外网站Boredpanda就收集了一些网友和邻居斗智斗勇的经历。
来围观一下——
#1 Please Stop, He Needs To Quit
能不能别再把烟屁股扔地上了！
我家猫每天晚上偷偷跑出来拣烟屁股抽，我们现在正帮它戒烟着呢！
@ kyrilavera :
ohhh. thats why cats go out at night huh?
这就是为啥猫咪们老是晚上出去游荡吧？
@glowworm:
So that's why his meows sound so hoarse...
所以他叫起来嗓子那么哑啊…
@ stellermatt:
but i bet he looks so cool...
但是我估计，他抽烟的的样子应该挺酷的......
看这照片里喵一脸不爽的表情，就知道戒烟的过程不那么欢快啊！
猫内心OS：喵生的大起大落实在是来的太刺激了
#2 My Neighbors Complained That It’s Too Cold For My Dog To Be Outside All Day During The Winter. I Sent Them This
我邻居跟我抱怨说: 你们家狗天天待在外面也太冷了吧，我发了这张照片给他
@Kimberlie Cash :
I had the same type of complaint.. I just put a rain coat on my dog...
我也这样被说过。我就给我家狗穿个雨衣……
@H4unt3dF0r3sts
IT'S A HUSKY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. They're built for the snow!
这可是哈士奇啊！ 笑死人了。 二哈就是为雪而生的啊！
@Kathy Zelms
I had cops show up and try to take me to court over leaving my chow out. She slept in snow banks, had a doggie door to the garage with a bed and food and water. She slept indoors at night. Fffing nosy neighbors. All went fine after a visit from animal cruelty.
我把我家松狮放外面，之前就有警察来要起诉我。我在车库里还给她留了狗洞，有床有水有吃的，但她就是喜欢睡雪堆里啊，只有晚上才回来睡。邻居真是爱管闲事。反虐待动物协会的人来看了一趟之后就啥事儿都没有了。
在指出别人的错误之前是不是得先翻翻书呀！
#3 An Open Letter To My Garbage Neighbors
致邻居的一封公开信：
亲爱的开了一整晚趴体的邻居：
... ... Kristine，我知道你马上要去加拿大航空上班了，特兴奋，但是你能不能小点声啊，老子要睡觉啊！
还有Jen发现Chad出轨了是
挺可怜的，但是谁要凌晨4点听你瞎XX这些啊！我家猫都被你们吵醒了！我还得给他解释为啥Tracy因为《吉尔莫女孩》第八季结尾那么烂导致她在我们公寓走廊里大喊大叫！
… …
从这儿搬出去吧！
懒得问候！！！
已经被你们气到半死的邻居
隔壁一晚上肆无忌惮的轰趴之后，对方朋友所有的八卦都听得一清二楚了。隔着屏幕都感受得到楼主的愤怒啊！
@Sandie Hupe
Hahaha this one should be at top.
哈哈哈哈哈哈这个应该置顶啊
@piggy panda
Luke-warm regards love it.
懒得问候满分
@jenna
How I wished I could publish such a letter about my neighbours :). They have no idea how much intimate information I have on them because of their very irritating and very loud conversations in their garden. I don't want to know their private sh*t! ……
多希望我也能贴这么个条子给邻居看啊！他们在花园里说话特别大声，要多烦人有多烦人，自己都不知道我听到了他们多少隐私。况且还根本不想知道啊！
#4 Note From Angry Neighbor (Above) And Appropriate Army Vet Response (Below)
这个邻居看到别人用了残疾车位，气不过留了这么张条（上图）
邻居：老哥，能不能别再把车停在残疾车位了？你一没拄拐，二看起来没有残疾。我已经拍了你的车牌号发给物业去处理了！
结果收到了老兵有理有据的回复 （下图），简单翻译如下：
老兵：首先，根据法律，在德克萨斯州，如果车辆有伤残老兵牌照，就不需要放置残疾证……你要是愿意多花30秒从兜里掏出电脑查一查就知道了。
你还拍了我的车牌，记得睁大眼睛看看上面还写了啥：DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES（美国武装部队伤残老兵）。
不过没关系，你可能就是被愤怒冲昏头了，觉得自己像个维护社会公正的英雄。
…
其次，可能在你眼里我看起来一点残疾没有，但是我敢保证，我的下肢因为打仗遭受的痛苦可能比你一生中的所有承受的痛苦都多。
最后，你的纸条原件我留下了，时刻提醒自己不要成为你这样的人 。
祝好
看起来不像是残疾的残疾人
@Beeps
This angers me so much, as it happens sooooo often. I have several disabled friends who can all tell stories about something similar happening to them. One of them uses a wheelchair, but also drives a sports car and regularly has people stop, ready to harangue him while he parks his car, only to scamper off embarrassed when he gets his chair out.
太生气了！而且这种事情还经常发生。我身边有几位残疾朋友也遭遇过类似的事情。其中一位朋友平时是用轮椅的，但他也会开车，停车的时候总会有人来找他“讲道理”，结果看他把轮椅推出来的时候就很尴尬地走了
@Ashley Lopez
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T LOOK DISABLED DOESN'T MEAN THEIR NOT UGH I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!
人家看起来不像残疾不代表人家就不是！好讨厌这种人
@Efia
His handwriting looks like he's still in primary school
这字儿写的感觉小学都还没毕业
恩，这个回复可以说是
很有教养了，无论如何，都要尊重他人。#5 Left My Printer Without A Passcode. My Neighbors Sent Me A Message
打印机没有加密，我们邻居给我留着这么张条：
你如果能不要在凌晨两点的时候那么大声XXOO，我会很开心的。
这可以说是很尴尬了......
@stellermatt
would 3am work better for you?
那凌晨三点可以吗？
@TK
Every night at 2 AM ?
每天凌晨两点都XXOO？？？？
@Signe Manat Hansen
God, that's a lot of color.
我天，这得费多少彩墨粉啊！
@Eyad Babikir
I did similar thing when our neighbors moved into the flat next to us just before xmas! I sent them a xmas card welcoming them and wishing them a merry xmas, with a separate sticky note asking them to tone down the sex noises at 3am, as these flats' walls are very thin.
圣诞节之前，我家隔壁搬来了新邻居，也是这样。然后我就送了他们一张圣诞节卡片，再附上一张纸条，提醒他们凌晨三点XXOO的时候小点声，而且这栋楼的墙很薄的。
They did exactly the same by sending a xmas card with a sticky note apologizing to us. We never heard the noises again!
他们也回赠了一张卡片，还道了歉，后来就再也听不到了！
#6 Can't Beat A Bit Of Passive-Aggressive Wi-Fi Naming
Wi-Fi名互吵，惹不起惹不起！
-你家音乐太吵了！
-你的语法更烂！
@mulk
ahahah! It remind me the story of a guy who named his network "hack me if you can"... the next day, his network was renamed "challenge accepted"
2333333......让我想起来之前有人给自己家网络起名字叫“你行你黑我啊”，第二天名字就被改成了“挑战成功”.
嗯，不要随便在危险的边缘试探。
#7 My Sister And Her Husband Live In A Small Town, They Came Home To This Note On Their Door
我妹妹和她丈夫住在一个小镇上，回家后发现门上贴了张条：
一群好心的邻居
想要提醒你们
你家浴室的
“单面”毛玻璃
安反了
@My O My
How often did they look through the window before saying that...
在提醒人家之前，他们到底看了多少次啊……
@San Dri Nette
omg must be so embarassing! I think I'd move very far away from the city after that lol
太尴尬了！要是我的话我绝对搬得远远地再也不回去了
@Nadine Ducca
I have a similar problems with some neighbors. They insist on showering with the curtains and sometimes even the whole window open and it seems they don't have a shower curtain, either (probably a glass pane).
我们家邻居也这样。坚持洗澡的时候不拉帘子不关窗。
So sometimes we walk into the kitchen and suddenly have a full-on view of our naked neighbors showering. It gets worse in summer...
所以有时候我们一走进厨房，邻居的裸体就映入眼帘了。夏天的时候更是惨不忍睹
#8 Our Elderly Neighbors Have This Sign Posted On The Bike Path In Their Backyard
隔壁年纪大的邻居在后院的自行车道上树了这么个牌子：
此处有监控！我们知道你住哪儿！
你要是不把你家狗拉的屎铲走，就不要怪我派我孙子去你家草坪上祸祸了！
@Ashley Lopez 10 hours ago
I read that in a old women voice anyone else??
不知不觉就用老太太的声音读出来了，还有谁？？
冤冤相报何时了哇。
有时候，防患于未然可以采取一种比较柔和的方式啊，比如下面这位，会提前打招呼，拜托大家帮忙挪猫~
#9 Does Your Cat Have A Death Wish?
你好，
我就是那只长毛、黑白相间的猫。很不幸的是，我躺在街上了，身边可能车来车往的。
我会迫使一个司机下车把我从路中间挪走。
可能我不应该出来，因为我有可能会被不小心的司机给轧死，真这样的话，现场肯定一片悲伤、混乱……
爱你！奉上小鱼干！
@Lios
That's a good person! People shouldn't let their cats run free, period, but definitely not cats like this. If it gets killed, I'm sure they'll be all over the unfortunate driver who couldn't even help it.
主人不应该让猫到处乱跑，但是猫肯定也不愿意这样的。要是以为这样不小心被撞死了，司机也是没办法啊！
@Bobbi Newell
Love and fishes, love it! I might assume that poor kitty needs a new home, and this is its way of getting adopted. Hehehe...
小鱼干太有爱了！我估计这只喵是在想办法求收养吧，哈哈哈哈
但是，碰上爱管闲事儿，整天叨叨让你漆篱笆的邻居，下面这位又选择这样怼回去：
#10 Look, Bob
Bob, 我家篱笆漆好了，给你看！
@SanchaTheSeeker
Ye my neighbours tell us to paint our fence. When they paint it, paint drips over ours. I could now say to them 'It has paint on it'
嗯，我家邻居让我们漆篱笆，他们漆的时候，滴到我们家这边了，我现在可以说：已经“漆”过了
@Jeremie Guerra
I want him as a neighbor :)
想跟他做邻居！
@glowworm2
The smiley face at the end is the best part!
最后笑脸满分！
其实，邻里之间，需要互相谅解才能避免发生事端。遇到问题时，善意的提醒或者是心平气和地谈一谈 也许能够更有效地解决问题哦~
你和你的邻居之间有什么故事，又是怎么解决邻里矛盾的，欢迎在评论里告诉我们哟
文：Sasa
图：boredpanda、网络
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