在我丈夫的“職務簡述”上，唯一的詞就是上端兩個紅色大字——“樂子”。
Although he is a selfless caregiver and provider, our children think of him more as acombination of a jungle gym and bozo and clown.
儘管他無私地給予孩子們百般關愛，盡其所能為他們提供所需，更多的時候還被孩子們看作是攀緣遊戲架、大傻瓜和小丑的三合一。
Our parenting styles compliment each other.
我們倆為人父母的風格是互補的。
His style is a nonstop adventure where no one has to worry about washing their hands, eatingvegetables, or getting cavities.
他的風格是持續不斷地探險，在這過程中，沒有人需要操心孩子是不是洗手了，是不是吃蔬菜了，或者會不會長蛀牙。
My style is similar to Mussolini.
我的風格則類似墨索里尼的執政風格。
I’m too busy worrying to be fun.
我太忙了，操心這操心那的，哪還顧得上找什麼樂子。
Besides, every time I try, I am constantly outdone by my husband.
再者，每次我試圖逗孩子們開心，總是被我丈夫比下去。
I bought my children bubble gum flavored toothpaste and I taught them how to brush theirteeth in tiny circles so they wouldn’t get cavities.
我給孩子們買來帶泡泡糖香味的牙膏，教他們如何用牙刷轉圈兒刷牙，以免得蛀牙。
They thought it was neat until my husband taught them how to rinse by spitting out waterbetween their two front teeth like a fountain.
他們認為那樣刷很好玩，直到有一天我先生教他們如何漱口——從兩顆門牙之間把水像噴泉一樣噴出來，他們認為這才叫做好玩。
I took the children on a walk in the woods, and after two hours, I managed to corral a slowladybug into my son’s insect cage.
我帶孩子們到小樹林裡去散步，兩個小時後，我好不容易才逮住一隻遲鈍的瓢蟲放進我兒子的蟲籠裡。
I was “cool” until their father came home, spent two minutes in the backyard, and captured abeetle the size of a Chihuahua.
在他們眼裡，我已經夠“酷”的了，直到他們的父親回家，在後院裡只花了兩分鐘，便捕獲了一隻有吉娃娃小狗那麼大的甲蟲!
I try to tell myself I am a good parent even if my husband does things I can’t do.
我勸慰自己我是個好媽媽，儘管我先生能做的事情我做不了。
I can make sure my children are safe, warm, and dry.
我可以確保我的孩子們是安全的、暖和的、乾乾爽爽的。
I’ll stand in line for five hours so the children can see Santa at the mall or be first in line to seethe latest Disney movie.
我可以排隊等五個小時，讓孩子們在大商場裡看到聖誕老人——或者第一個排隊讓孩子們看最新的迪斯尼影片。
But I can’t wire the VCR so my children can watch their favorite video.
但是我不會給錄像機接上電線，好讓孩子們看他們喜歡的錄像。
I can carry my children in my arms when they are tired, tuck them into bed, and kiss themgoodnight.
當孩子們玩累時，我可以把他們抱在懷裡，放在床上，親吻他們，把他們送入夢鄉。
But I can’t flip them upside down so they can walk on the ceiling or prop them on myshoulders so they can see the moths flying inside of the light fixture.
但是我無法讓他們頭衝下，那樣他們可以腳踏天花板漫步;或者把他們扛在我的肩膀上，讓他們看飛蛾如何在燈具裡漂亮地飛舞。
I can take them to doctor appointments, scout meetings, or field trips to the aquarium, but I’llnever go into the wilderness, skewer a worm on a hook, reel in a fish, and cook it over anopen flame on a piece of tin foil.
我可以帶他們去看醫生，參加童子軍集會，或者帶他們去參觀水族館，但是我永遠也不會進入荒郊野地，在魚鉤上掛上蟲餌，釣上一條魚，然後把魚用錫紙包起來，在明火上烤著吃。
I’ll even sit in the first row of every Little League game and cheer until my throat is sore and mytonsils are raw, but I’ll never teach my son how to hit a home run or slide into first base.
我甚至可以出席每一場少年棒球聯合會的比賽，坐在第一排為他們吶喊助威，直到我的嗓子喊疼了，我的扁桃體發炎了，但是我永遠無法教我的兒子如何打一個本壘打，或者如何巧妙進入一壘的位置。
As a mother I can do a lot of things for my children, but no matter how hard I try—I can neverbe their father.
作為一個母親，我可以為我的孩子們做許多事情，但是不管我怎樣努力——我永遠成為不了他們的父親。
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