中年人的寂寞
夏丐尊
我已是一箇中年的人。一到中年，就有許多不愉快的現象，眼睛昏花了，記憶力減退了，頭髮開始禿脫(1)而且變白了，意興，體力，什麼都不如年青的時候，常不禁會感覺到難以名言的(2)寂寞的情味。尤其覺得難堪的是知友的逐漸減少(3)和疏遠，缺乏交際上的溫暖的慰藉。
不消說，相識的人數是隨了年齡增加的，一個人年齡越大，走過的地方當過的職務越多，相識的人理該越增加了。可是相識的人並不就是朋友。我們和許多人相識，或是因了事務關係，或是因了偶然的機緣(4)——如在別人請客的時候同席吃過飯之類。見面時點頭或握手，有事時走訪或通信，口頭上彼此也“朋友”，筆頭上有時或稱“仁兄”，諸如此類，其實只是一種社交上的客套，和“頓首”“百拜”同是儀式的虛偽(5)。這種交際可以說是社交，和真正的友誼相差似乎很遠。
真正的朋友，恐怕要算“總角之交”或“竹馬之交”了(6)。在小學和中學的時代容易結成真實的友誼，那時彼此尚不感到生活的壓迫，入世未深，打算計較的念頭也少，朋友的結成全由於志趣相近或性情適合，差不多可以說是“無所為”的(7)，性質比較純粹。二十歲以後結成的友誼，大概已不免攙有各種各樣的顏色分子在內；至於三十歲四十歲以後的朋友中間，顏色分子愈多，友誼的真實成分也就不免因而愈少了。
這並不一定是“人心不古”(8)，實可以說是人生的悲劇。人到了成年以後，彼此都有生活的重擔須負，入世既深，顧忌的方面也自然加多起來，在交際上不許你不計較，不許你不打算，結果彼此都“勾心鬥角”(9)，像七巧板似地只選定了某一方面和對方接合(10)。這樣的接合當然是很不堅固的，尤其是現代這樣什麼都到了尖銳化的時代。
在我自己的交遊中，最值得繫念的老是一此少年時代以來的朋友。這些朋友本來數目就不多，有些住在遠地，連相會的機會也不可多得。他們有的年齡大過了我，有的小我幾歲，都江堰市是中年以上的人了，平日各人所走的方向不同。思想趣味境遇也都不免互異，大家晤談起來，也常會遇到說不出的隔膜的情形。如大家話舊，舊事是彼此共喻的，而且大半都江堰市是少年時代的事，“舊遊如夢”，把夢也似的過去的少年時代重提，因談話的進行，同時會聯想起許多當時的事情，許多當時的人的面影，這時好象自己仍迴歸到少年時代去了(11)。我常在這種時候感到一種快樂，同時也感到一種傷感，那情形好比老婦人突然在抽屜裡或箱子裡發見了她盛年時的影片。
逢到和舊友談話，就不知不覺地把話題轉到舊事上去，這是我的習慣。我在這上面無意識地會感到一種溫暖地慰藉。可是這些舊友一年比一年減少了，本來只是屈指可數的幾個，少去一個是無法彌補的。我每當聽到一箇舊友死去的消息，總要惆悵多時。
學校教育給我們的好處不但只是灌輸知識，最大的好處恐怕還在給與我們求友的機會上。這好處我到了離學校以後才知道，這幾年來更確切地體會到，深悔當時毫不自覺，馬馬虎虎地過去了。近來每日早晚在路上見到兩兩三三的攜了手或挽了肩膀走著的青年學生，我總豔羨他們有朋友之樂，暗暗地要在心中替他們祝福。
Mid-life Loneliness
Xia Mianzun
I am already a middle-aged man. At middle age, I feel sad to find my eyesight and memory failing, my hair thinning and graying, and myself no longer mentally and physically as fit as when I was young. I often suffer from a nameless loneliness. The most intolerable of all is the lack of friendly warmth and comfort due to the gradual passing away and estrangement of more and more old pals.
Needless to say, the number of acquaintances increases with one’s age. The older one gets, the more widely traveled one is and the more work experience one has, the more acquaintances one is supposed to have. But not all acquaintances are friends. We come to know many people either in the way of business or by mere chance –say, having been at the same table at a dinner party. We may be on nodding or hand-shaking terms, call each other “friend”, sometimes write to each other with the salutation of “Dear So-and-So”, etc., etc. All these are, in fact, nothing but civilities of social life, as hypocritical as the polite formula dunshou (kowtow) or baibai (a hundred greetings) used after the signature in old-fashioned Chinese letter-writing. We may call them social intercourse, but they seem to have very little in common with genuine friendship.
Real friendship between two persons originates perhaps from the time of life when they were children playing innocently together. Real friendship is easily formed in primary or middle school days when, being socially inexperienced and free from the burden of life, you give little thought to personal gains or losses, and make friends entirely as a result of similar tastes and interests or congenial disposition. It is sort of “friendship for friendship’s sake” and is relatively pure in nature. Friendship among people in their 20's, however, is more or less coloured by personal motives. And friendship among those aged over 30 becomes correspondingly still less pure as it gets even more coloured. Though this is not necessarily due to "degeneration of public morality", I do have good reasons to call it the tragedy of life. People at middle age, with the heavy burden of life and much experience in the ways of the world, have more scruples about this and that, and can not choose but become more calculating in social dealings till they start scheming against each
other. They always keep a wary eye, as it were, on each other in their association. Such association is of course fragile, especially in this modern age of prevailing sharp conflicts. Of all my friends, those I have known since child-hood are most worthy of remembrance. They are few in number. Some of them live far away and we seldom have an opportunity to see each other. Some of them are older than I am, and some a few years younger. But all of us are in late mid-life. Since we have each followed a different course in life, our ways of thinking, interests and circumstances are bound to differ, and often we lack mutual understanding somehow or other in our conversation. Nevertheless, when we talk over old times, we will always agree on things in the past--mostly about things in our childhood days. While we retell the dream-like childhood days in the course of our conversation, numerous scenes and persons of bygone days will unfold again before our eyes, and we will feel like reliving the old days. Often at this moment, I'll feel at once happy and sad--like an old lady suddenly fishing out from her drawer or chest a photo of her taken in the bloom of her youth.
When chatting away with my old friends, I am in the habit of unwittingly channeling the topic of conversation toward things of former days. From that I unknowingly derive some sort of warm solace. But old friends are dwindling away year by year. They are originally few in number, so the disappearance of any of them is an irreparable loss to me. The news of any old pal's death will invariably make me sad in my heart for a long, long time.
The imparting of knowledge is not the sole advantage of school education. Its greatest advantage is perhaps the opportunity it affords us for making friends. It was not until I had already left school that I began to realize this advantage. And in recent years I have come to understand it even more deeply. I much regret having carelessly frittered away my school days without making many friends. Recently, every morning or evening, whenever I see school kids with satchels walking in twos and threes, hand in hand or shoulder to shoulder, I always envy them for enjoying happy friendship, and inwardly offer them my best wishes.
註釋：
本文發表在1934年11月的《中學生》雜誌上，文章用平淡的語言訴說了中年人的苦惱，感嘆“真實的友誼”不可多得，字裡行間流洩出對當時現狀的不滿。
(1)“頭髮開始禿脫”指頭髮開始變稀，也可譯為 my head balding。 今譯 my hair thinning ，以 hair 取代head，是為了照顧下面的graying一字。
(2)“難以名言的”譯為nameless，意同indescribable，但nameless常用來指不好的事物，如：a nameless fear、nameless atrocities。
(3)“逐漸減少”在原文指逐漸作古，如直譯為 the gradual dwindling away 則未能明確表達“死去”的意思。故譯為gradual passing away.
(4)“我們和許多人相識，或是因為事務關係，或是因了偶然的機緣……”譯為We come to know many people either in the way of business or by mere chance…，其中in the way of 是成語，作“為了”解。成語in the way of可有若干不同的意思，如“關於”、“以……的方法”，“為了”等，須由上下文來決定。
(5)“和‘頓首’‘百拜’同是儀式的虛偽”譯為as hypocritical as the polite formula dunshou (kowtow) or baibai (a hundred greetings) used after the signature in old-fashioned Chinese letter-writing。其中 kowtow, a hundred greetings 以及 used after the signature in old fashioned Chinese letter-writing 均為譯者的補充說明，屬一種釋義譯法。
(6)“真正的朋友，恐怕要算‘總角之交’或‘竹馬之交’了”譯為 Real friendship between two persons originates perhaps from the time of life when they were children playing innocently together，其中“總角之交”和“竹馬之交”合而為一，用意譯法處理。
(7)“差不多可以說是‘無所為’的”譯為It is sort of “friendship for friendship’s sake”，其中sort of （有幾分）用來表達“差不多可以說”。又“無所為”意即“無其它目的”或“無條件的”，故譯為friendship for friendship’s sake（為友誼而友誼的）。
(8)“這並一定是‘人心不古’”譯為Though this is not necessarily due to “degeneration of public morality”。也可考慮採用另一譯法：Though this should not be ascribed exclusively to “degeneration of public morality”。
(9)“結果彼此都‘勾心鬥角’”譯為till they start scheming against each other。注意其中till的一種特殊用法。它在這裡指“結果”，意即so that、finally或and at last，不作“直到……為止”解。
(10)“像七巧板似地只選定了某一方面和對方接合”不宜直譯。現按“人們在交往中互相提防，互存戒心”的內涵，用意譯法處理：They always keep a wary eye, as it were, on each other in their association，其中插入語as it were作“似乎”、“可以說”等解。
(11)“這時好像自己仍迴歸到少年時代去了”譯為and we feel like reliving the old days，其中to relive作“（憑想象）重新過……的生活”(to experience…again, especially in imagination)解。
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