今天來問大家一個問題：
你們有沒有過以下這些體驗？
- 發出去的消息/朋友圈要檢查好多遍…
- 發給別人信息，半天沒收到回覆簡直要瘋…
- 不要叫我發言，請當做沒看到我…
- 發了朋友圈沒人點贊！啊，我刪掉這條吧…
- 大街上碰到不太熟的人一臉尷尬不知所措…
- 點餐一猶豫就緊張：服務員是不是很生氣？
- 手機一響，心裡就要咯噔一下…
- Team Work簡直是災難…
- 只想打單機遊戲，不要組隊不要語音謝謝…
- 寧可迷路也不要問別人路，感謝手機地圖…
- 絕不打電話諮詢！
如果對於上述症狀，
你的回答有一多半是肯定的，
那麼…你疑似患有現代社交恐懼症。
病友你好！
Professional psychiatrists have identified many different kinds of "phobia", from acrophobia, or a fear of heights, to agoraphobia, or a fear of public spaces. These are often linked to genetic and psychological factors.
精神病學上也有諸多恐懼症概念，譬如恐高症、廣場恐懼症云云；這些恐懼症一般與遺傳或心理因素相關。
列舉幾種現在生活中常見的恐懼症：
沒人搭理恐懼症
NOBODY-CARES-O-PHOBIA
When your messages to someone have been ignored, but then you find out that he or she "liked" someone else's WeChat Moments — curse your perceptiveness!
對方不回你的消息，卻在別人朋友圈下點贊。你第一次如此厭惡自己敏銳的觀察力。
Salt in the wound: Even if you send red packets in the group chat, nobody answers.
最扎心時刻：在群裡發紅包都沒有人領。
Treatment: Take a screenshot of the "like" you spotted and send it to the one who's ignoring you.
Truth: Deep down, you know you're just not that special to them.
真相時刻：你根本沒什麼特別的，別告訴我你不知道。
零贊恐懼症
NO-LIKE-A-PHOBIA
After what seems like an age poring over the words and pictures in your latest social media post, you finally summon up the courage to press "send". The minutes tick by, but it doesn't receive any likes. All the while you feel like you've been punched in the gut or shot through by a thousand arrows at once.
字斟句酌瘦臉磨皮拉腿美白後鼓足勇氣發了條朋友圈。一分鐘後發現居然零贊，瞬間感受到了世界“南蠻入侵”“萬箭齊發”“諸葛連弩加八個黑殺”般的暴力連擊。
Salt in the wound: A similar post by a friend received hundreds of likes from your mutual friends, while you get none.
最扎心時刻：和朋友發佈相同內容的朋友圈，自己零贊，別人爆贊。
Treatment: Give yourself a like, you deserve it.
被艾特恐懼症
@-YOU-O-PHOBIA
After a quick shower, you find you've got 18 unread messages on WeChat as well as five "@" mentions in your group chats. You become so anxious that you'd rather call an ambulance than wade through all these posts.
只是衝了個澡，回來打開微信居然跳出了18條未讀消息，還有5個群裡有人@了你。你開始緊張，胸悶，發抖…遲遲不敢打開消息框，只想撥打120。
Salt in the wound: You're mentioned in a group chat even though the message wasn't meant for you.
最扎心時刻：就算和你沒關係也要把你@出來。
Treatment: Change your group alias eight times and profile picture ten times daily.
治療方法：每天更改8次群暱稱，換10次頭像。
半熟不生恐懼症
MEDIUM-RARE-A-PHOBIA
熟人面前動若瘋兔，生人面前靜若處子……
不是我內向、不愛說話、沒有幽默感…是我和你不熟…見到不熟的人也很尷尬啊…崩潰！
POST-DELETED-O-PHOBIA
You want to read a popular WeChat article, but it's been deleted before you can. Suddenly, feelings of abandonment, missing out and self-hatred hit you like a ton of bricks.
點進一篇被轉瘋了的文章，發現已被刪除，頓生一種“被世界遺棄”+“好像錯過很了不起的東西”+“為什麼手慢的總是我”型被迫害妄想症。
Salt in the wound: Halfway through reading the article, you leave to answer a WeChat message. When you come back, it's been deleted.
最扎心時刻：讀到一半去回了個微信，再回來發現文章已被刪。
Treatment: Share the article on your WeChat Moments straight away and just pretend that you've read it.
聊天終結者恐懼症
ENDLESS-TALK-O-PHOBIA
一定要搶到最後一句話的位置！要不心裡難受彷彿欠人錢……
Salt in the wound: You respond one last time, only to find your message has been rejected by the other person.
最扎心時刻：等你準備再次回覆時，發現對方已開啟好友驗證。
先走恐懼症
LEAVE-FIRST-O-PHOBIA
先走就跟不是對話最後回覆一樣覺得“不合適”
Salt in the wound: You've been in the KTV for hours and by now everyone's throat is sore, but no one wants to make a move. There's nothing else for it — it's time to put on Taylor Swift's Look What You Made Me Do.
最扎心時刻：KTV局已唱到喉嚨沙啞，但因為沒人先走，只好又點了一首黴黴的Look What You Made Me Do…
Treatment: Always be the last to leave. Even if it means never actually leaving.
治療方法：永遠最後一個離開。（這還叫離開？）
出門前恐懼症
DOUBLE-CHECK-A-PHOBIA
You're getting ready to go out. You check you've got your keys, cellphone, wallet and mobile charger. Then you check again, just to make sure. As you're leaving your apartment, you try the door a couple of times to ensure that it's locked. Then you get in the elevator and descend to the first floor. But did you remember to switch off the TV? Time to get back in the elevator and go back home to check again.
出門第一步：鑰匙、手機、錢包、證件、充電寶......反覆確認一件不落；
第二步：用力推門數次確認門真的鎖好了；
第三步：走進電梯下到一樓；
第四部：進電梯回家再查一遍電視關了沒。
Salt in the wound: The elevator is broken.
最扎心時刻：電梯壞了。
有人嘗試在關門的時候做一個特殊的動作，用來確認自己已經都搞定啦！結果，出門鎖門出一招，確認鎖門了第二式，忘記有沒有打第一招第三拳，確定真的鎖好了第四步……最後每天鎖門要在門口打一整套軍體拳……
閱讀更多 樂活武漢 的文章
