Charles Barkley: "Jesus... Is that a cadaver?" Ernie: "He had 51 points." Charles: "He would have 55 if he had a hamburger."
巴克利看到KD脫下球衣時表示：“我天……那是具乾屍吧？”
厄尼（TNT主持人）：“他可是砍下了51分啊。”
巴克利：“他要吃個漢堡的話就得55分了。”
[–]LakersAirmeniNKorea 4739 指標 18小時前
"A Happy Meal won't hurt the brother."
“我尋思吃個麥當勞的開心樂園套餐也不礙事啊。”
[–]NBAzxc123zxc123 1524 指標 17小時前*
"It does cuz KD lookin like he ONLY eatin em kids meals."
"Gotta get that boy some churros Erneh."*
“礙事的，因為KD看上去應該只吃嫩些兒童套餐。”
“厄尼啊，趕緊給那可憐的娃買點西班牙油條吧。”[譯註1]
[譯註1]巴克利最熱門最有意思的一個梗就是調侃聖安東尼奧的女人很“肥碩”（big ole San Antonio women），他反覆多次地在節目裡多次提到這個笑話，包括“維多利亞在那確實是個秘密，因為她們根本穿不進去那些性感小內衣。”即使是引起聖安東尼奧女性反擊後，巴克利也絲毫沒有收手的意思。他唯一的一次“道歉”也是在開玩笑：“我要向聖安東尼奧的女人們道歉，我不能怪你們胖，你們那兒的西班牙油條（churros）實在是太好吃了我去。”
[–]RaptorsOG_Wan_Annunoby 472 指標 12小時前
ONION RINGZ, ERNEH!
洋蔥圈！厄尼！[譯註2]
[譯註2]Ring（圈）又有戒指之意，這裡是在指奧尼爾總喜歡拿自己的戒指說事。
[–]Grizzliestraumakit 106 指標 15小時前
KD to San Antonio
KD去馬刺實錘了。
[–][SAS] Bruce Bowensixseventeen 90 指標 13小時前
Hahahahahaha
Please
馬刺球迷：哈哈哈哈哈哈……
快來吧求你了。
[–]CoyotaTorolla 1500 指標 17小時前
55 would also have given them the win...Barkley did the math.
要是杜蘭特得了55分的話勇士就贏球了......巴爵爺著實數學鬼才。
[–]PepeSilvia267 648 指標 17小時前
Hello? LAPD? This is Blake Griffin - you gotta get down here Chris Paul is tryna beat me up
喂？是110嗎？我是布雷克-格里芬，你們可趕緊快派人過來吧，保羅要揍人家！[譯註3]
[譯註3]出自TNT天團中的鯊魚和巴克利對快船火箭上賽季的更衣室堵人事件的瘋狂調侃，上為原話。
[–]Lakersdrawsnoodz999 2448 指標 18小時前
he should see Ingram with his shirt off.
湖人球迷：他這是沒見過光膀子的鶯歌。
[–]Dalo31 94 指標 11小時前
Ik what you mean. Durant is 7 feet tall with like a 1 foot long torso lmao.
我懂你的意思。KD身高七尺，但軀幹就跟只有一英尺似的哈哈哈哈。
[–][GSW] Klay ThompsonMrVanillaIceTCube 90 指標 16小時前
KD's head is huge and his arms are shockingly long and skinny. I think his shoulders are also pretty skinny, he has a long wingspan but it's all in his arms. So huge head, then narrow shoulders that end immediately, then string bean arms that hang down to his knees.
勇士球迷：KD的頭很大，他的胳膊很細而且長得出奇。我覺得他的肩膀也沒什麼肉，他的臂展很長不過這都歸功於他的手臂長度。所以綜合一下，大頭窄肩再加上火柴棍一樣的及膝長臂……你們體會一下吧。
Ingram is also a couple inches shorter, extremely tall amd extremely short people tend to have odder proportions. 7 footers tend to have huge heads.
而且鶯歌比KD稍矮點。身高極高或極矮的人身材比例一般來說都比較奇怪。七尺長人常有大頭。
[–]Buckswisconsinpackers 1243 指標 17小時前
Ingram fits his body better. Idk how to explain it but Durant just looks weird. Probably like most of us on here with a few feet added on
鶯歌的體形更勻稱一些。我不知道該怎麼解釋，但是KD看上去就是很奇怪。也許就像咱這些網友突然長高了三十多釐米吧。
[–]RocketsA_Rolling_Baneling 1921 指標 17小時前
Implying the average person on here isn't a fat bastard
你這是在暗示咱話題區的平均水平不是死胖子？
[–]Timberwolvesthebansi 709 指標 17小時前
Hey I'd say its 50:50 between fat bastards and college (or university in my case since I'm from europe) students who havn't got the money to become fat
我覺著吧，咱話題區的死胖子和還沒錢變胖的大學生數量五五開。
[–][NYK] Tracy McGradyyoloqueuesf 959 指標 16小時前
Legitimately easier to become fat than stay fit nowadays.
Fried and greasy shit is always so cheap
這年頭，變胖可比保持身材簡單太多了，我一點不說瞎話。
油炸化食品總是賊便宜。
[–]NBAplqaikwsujedyhrftg 428 指標 16小時前
Stress, cheap shitty food, lack of sleep. It's very easy to gain weight in college.
壓力、廉價的垃圾食品和缺乏睡眠……在大學簡直太容易長胖了。
[–]HeatDydoDeChamp 615 指標 16小時前
As someone who’s out of college now. College is super easy to stay in shape, you have a gym on campus, and tons of free time, and a very Flexible scheduled. Going actively when working is much harder to work up the energy. Still overall if with a little effort staying atleast in decent shape overall does not take the life out of you.
作為一個畢業生說幾句：在大學裡保持身材是相當簡單的，校園裡有健身房，還有充裕的課外時間，日程安排也非常靈活。等到你工作了，你就難頻繁地去健身了，因為你很難喚起自己的活力。這樣就起來活動活動。不過。總得來講，稍微努努力保持一個比較看得過去的身材也不會花費你太多功夫。
[–]Hawksyurtyybomb 303 指標 12小時前
100% right. taying in shape when you're working full time requires you to either a) get up at the ass crack of dawn, before your regularly scheduled 8 or 9 am arrival time to work (none of this "i never schedule class for fridays or 9 am" shit exists in the real work), or b) work out when you come home after working all day, in addition to cooking + taking care of whatever animals/people are in your house.
說得一點沒錯。如果你想在全職工作的情況下保持身材，那你有兩個選擇：要麼在正常八九點上班之前起個大早（進入社會可就沒特麼啥“我從來不在週五或者早上九點安排課”這種屁磕了）；要麼在工作了一天身心俱疲以後回家健身，這還不算上做飯和照顧家裡的一切活物。
College was the most leisure I ever had outside of being a kid, even if I had moments of stress studying for finals etc.
大學是我這輩子除了孩童時期度過的最悠閒的一段時光，雖然我也有過備戰期末時的巨大壓力。
[–]Celticsanime_teenager 177 指標 12小時前
God I miss school so much lol
天吶我真的太懷念校園時光了。
[–]Bullsregnald 351 指標 14小時前
KDaver. New KD nickname
KD喜提新外號：杜如柴。
[–][OKC] Russell Westbrooktayroarsmash 146 指標 16小時前
Kevin Durant went hollow confirmed. Get that man a humanity and a bonfire.
雷霆球迷：實錘了，杜蘭特這是直接活屍化了啊。趕緊給老哥弄團篝火和人性！
[譯註4]：遊戲黑暗之魂梗。活屍化指人被詛咒，變成乾屍。人性可以將外邊還原成人類，而篝火則是傳送點。
[–]LakersJodellFlackhamJr 932 指標 18小時前
He's like a hypothetical interpretation of what humans looked like when aliens find our skeletons in 10 million years
湖人球迷：假如一千萬年後外星人發現了我們的骨架，那麼KD一定就是他們還原出的人類模樣。
[–]Bullspacsun1220 288 指標 13小時前
Honestly though a big issue I have with the reconstruction of how prehistoric animals look is that we seem to just wrap the bones in skin and call it a day as if they wouldn't be covered in fatty tissue and other ornamentation (trunks, crests, etc) like modern animals.
不過說實在的，我覺得史前動物外觀重構重建的一個大問題就是，咱似乎給動物骨骼包上一層皮膚就感覺萬事大吉了，就好像它們跟現代的動物毫無相似點，沒有一點脂肪組織和其他裝飾（長長的鼻子、羽毛等等）
It's gotten better in recent years but if you Google "All Yesterday's" it's a book that covers it and shows how modern animals would look if we reconstructed then like extinct ones.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
近些年來已經好多了，但是如果你谷歌搜索“All Yesterday's”，這本書詳細介紹了我上面所說的問題，而且它還展示瞭如果我們把重建那些滅絕動物外觀的方法用在現代動物上，它們都會是什麼樣子。
感謝各位參加我的TED演講。
[–]DustyBlind 381 指標 18小時前
I see Durant is the opposite of those San Antonio women.
懂了，KD就是那些聖城女人的反面啊。
[–]cutecouple1991 416 指標 19小時前
Durant shaped like a churro
KD外形跟油條一模一樣的。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookAnti_Thon 753 指標 19小時前
He’s built like an HDMI cable
雷霆球迷：他這身材就跟一根高清數據線似的。
[–]LarryKleist711 219 指標 17小時前*
Jayson Williams (the shotgun toting former Net) said that Barkley would show up to practice with a sack of McDonald's and he would hop on an exercise bike and scarf down breakfast and talk shit to his teammate's.
傑森-威廉姆斯（那個隨身攜帶獵槍的前籃網球員）曾說過，巴克利以前會帶著一堆麥當勞的東西出現在訓練場，直接跳上訓練單車，狼吞虎嚥地吃下早餐還跟隊友噴髒話。
[–]Thunderthisguy2164 1002 指標 19小時前
Charles Barkley is a national treasure
雷霆球迷：巴克利真是個國寶啊。
[–]BucksBackblast 246 指標 18小時前
Anybody that hates Chuck, really just hates themselves.
憎恨巴克利的人其實是討厭自己。
[–]RocketsA_Rolling_Baneling 158 指標 17小時前
Or is a female from San Antonio
或者是一位來自聖安東尼奧的女性。
[–]CavaliersBetchenstein 85 指標 12小時前
My girl, a big ol woman from San Antonio, said that even tho his comments did upset a lot of people, they had to admit it wasn’t a lie lol.
我女朋友就是巴克利口中的“聖安東尼奧大肥妞”，她跟我說，雖然巴克利的話讓那裡的人很多人感到不快，但是他們也不得不承認這話不假。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookFeedtheKiwi 2033 指標 19小時前
God I love Chuck.
雷霆球迷：天吶我太愛巴克利了。
[–]CavaliersDeanBDean 135 指標 15小時前
Chuck is great, but the joke isn't there if Ernie doesn't play a great straight man here with the setup.
騎士球迷：巴克利很棒，但在這個段子裡，如果厄尼沒有充當捧哏的扔出包袱的話，那這笑話的效果也出不來。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookAnti_Thon 833 指標 18小時前
I don’t understand why he gets so much shit here. He’s clearly hired to have a controversial opinion and just be entertaining.
Sometimes, he’s not too far off from basketball analysis anyways.
雷霆球迷：我不明白為啥巴克利總是在咱這話題區被噴。明顯他是被僱來提出一些有爭議的觀點和增加娛樂效果的呀。
反正有時候巴克利的話也沒跟籃球分析差太多。
[–][NYK] Dikembe MutomboJIBETTA 650 指標 18小時前
Because some guys take him literally and think he’s a hater of everything. When in reality, even back to when he was playing, he was never that serious about himself and is able to laugh at others, as well as himself.
Shaq on the other hand...
因為有些人把他的話當真理解了，而且覺得他就是個大黑子。但實際上，他即使是當年打球那會兒也從來沒把自己當回事。能開別人的玩笑也能自嘲。
至於奧尼爾嘛……
[–]LarryKleist711 149 指標 17小時前
Trolling before trolling was cool. The "I am not a role model," ad campaign triggered a whole lot of folks who didn't care to understand the point he was making.
湖人球迷：在把大眾當猴耍成為主流前的把大眾大猴耍還是很有新意的。當時巴克利那段“我不是榜樣”的廣告宣傳可是惹怒了不少人，他們根本不願去理解巴克利想通過那個廣告標語表達的意思。
[–][DAL] Dennis SmithMysteriagant 202 指標 17小時前
Shaq on the other hand..
Is also playing a character. But just like Chuck people take him too seriously
“至於奧尼爾嘛......”
他也只是在賣人設而已。但和巴克利一樣，大家把他的話看得太認真了。
[–]NBAatmylevel 356 指標 17小時前
Shaq actually takes things way too personally though...
不過奧尼爾也的確很愛往心裡去......
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