Charles Barkley: "Jesus... Is that a cadaver?" Ernie: "He had 51 points." Charles: "He would have 55 if he had a hamburger."
巴克利看到KD脱下球衣时表示：“我天……那是具干尸吧？”
厄尼（TNT主持人）：“他可是砍下了51分啊。”
巴克利：“他要吃个汉堡的话就得55分了。”
[–]LakersAirmeniNKorea 4739 指標 18小時前
"A Happy Meal won't hurt the brother."
“我寻思吃个麦当劳的开心乐园套餐也不碍事啊。”
[–]NBAzxc123zxc123 1524 指標 17小時前*
"It does cuz KD lookin like he ONLY eatin em kids meals."
"Gotta get that boy some churros Erneh."*
“碍事的，因为KD看上去应该只吃嫩些儿童套餐。”
“厄尼啊，赶紧给那可怜的娃买点西班牙油条吧。”[译注1]
[译注1]巴克利最热门最有意思的一个梗就是调侃圣安东尼奥的女人很“肥硕”（big ole San Antonio women），他反复多次地在节目里多次提到这个笑话，包括“维多利亚在那确实是个秘密，因为她们根本穿不进去那些性感小内衣。”即使是引起圣安东尼奥女性反击后，巴克利也丝毫没有收手的意思。他唯一的一次“道歉”也是在开玩笑：“我要向圣安东尼奥的女人们道歉，我不能怪你们胖，你们那儿的西班牙油条（churros）实在是太好吃了我去。”
[–]RaptorsOG_Wan_Annunoby 472 指標 12小時前
ONION RINGZ, ERNEH!
洋葱圈！厄尼！[译注2]
[译注2]Ring（圈）又有戒指之意，这里是在指奥尼尔总喜欢拿自己的戒指说事。
[–]Grizzliestraumakit 106 指標 15小時前
KD to San Antonio
KD去马刺实锤了。
[–][SAS] Bruce Bowensixseventeen 90 指標 13小時前
Hahahahahaha
Please
马刺球迷：哈哈哈哈哈哈……
快来吧求你了。
[–]CoyotaTorolla 1500 指標 17小時前
55 would also have given them the win...Barkley did the math.
要是杜兰特得了55分的话勇士就赢球了......巴爵爷着实数学鬼才。
[–]PepeSilvia267 648 指標 17小時前
Hello? LAPD? This is Blake Griffin - you gotta get down here Chris Paul is tryna beat me up
喂？是110吗？我是布雷克-格里芬，你们可赶紧快派人过来吧，保罗要揍人家！[译注3]
[译注3]出自TNT天团中的鲨鱼和巴克利对快船火箭上赛季的更衣室堵人事件的疯狂调侃，上为原话。
[–]Lakersdrawsnoodz999 2448 指標 18小時前
he should see Ingram with his shirt off.
湖人球迷：他这是没见过光膀子的莺歌。
[–]Dalo31 94 指標 11小時前
Ik what you mean. Durant is 7 feet tall with like a 1 foot long torso lmao.
我懂你的意思。KD身高七尺，但躯干就跟只有一英尺似的哈哈哈哈。
[–][GSW] Klay ThompsonMrVanillaIceTCube 90 指標 16小時前
KD's head is huge and his arms are shockingly long and skinny. I think his shoulders are also pretty skinny, he has a long wingspan but it's all in his arms. So huge head, then narrow shoulders that end immediately, then string bean arms that hang down to his knees.
勇士球迷：KD的头很大，他的胳膊很细而且长得出奇。我觉得他的肩膀也没什么肉，他的臂展很长不过这都归功于他的手臂长度。所以综合一下，大头窄肩再加上火柴棍一样的及膝长臂……你们体会一下吧。
Ingram is also a couple inches shorter, extremely tall amd extremely short people tend to have odder proportions. 7 footers tend to have huge heads.
而且莺歌比KD稍矮点。身高极高或极矮的人身材比例一般来说都比较奇怪。七尺长人常有大头。
[–]Buckswisconsinpackers 1243 指標 17小時前
Ingram fits his body better. Idk how to explain it but Durant just looks weird. Probably like most of us on here with a few feet added on
莺歌的体形更匀称一些。我不知道该怎么解释，但是KD看上去就是很奇怪。也许就像咱这些网友突然长高了三十多厘米吧。
[–]RocketsA_Rolling_Baneling 1921 指標 17小時前
Implying the average person on here isn't a fat bastard
你这是在暗示咱话题区的平均水平不是死胖子？
[–]Timberwolvesthebansi 709 指標 17小時前
Hey I'd say its 50:50 between fat bastards and college (or university in my case since I'm from europe) students who havn't got the money to become fat
我觉着吧，咱话题区的死胖子和还没钱变胖的大学生数量五五开。
[–][NYK] Tracy McGradyyoloqueuesf 959 指標 16小時前
Legitimately easier to become fat than stay fit nowadays.
Fried and greasy shit is always so cheap
这年头，变胖可比保持身材简单太多了，我一点不说瞎话。
油炸化食品总是贼便宜。
[–]NBAplqaikwsujedyhrftg 428 指標 16小時前
Stress, cheap shitty food, lack of sleep. It's very easy to gain weight in college.
压力、廉价的垃圾食品和缺乏睡眠……在大学简直太容易长胖了。
[–]HeatDydoDeChamp 615 指標 16小時前
As someone who’s out of college now. College is super easy to stay in shape, you have a gym on campus, and tons of free time, and a very Flexible scheduled. Going actively when working is much harder to work up the energy. Still overall if with a little effort staying atleast in decent shape overall does not take the life out of you.
作为一个毕业生说几句：在大学里保持身材是相当简单的，校园里有健身房，还有充裕的课外时间，日程安排也非常灵活。等到你工作了，你就难频繁地去健身了，因为你很难唤起自己的活力。这样就起来活动活动。不过。总得来讲，稍微努努力保持一个比较看得过去的身材也不会花费你太多功夫。
[–]Hawksyurtyybomb 303 指標 12小時前
100% right. taying in shape when you're working full time requires you to either a) get up at the ass crack of dawn, before your regularly scheduled 8 or 9 am arrival time to work (none of this "i never schedule class for fridays or 9 am" shit exists in the real work), or b) work out when you come home after working all day, in addition to cooking + taking care of whatever animals/people are in your house.
说得一点没错。如果你想在全职工作的情况下保持身材，那你有两个选择：要么在正常八九点上班之前起个大早（进入社会可就没特么啥“我从来不在周五或者早上九点安排课”这种屁磕了）；要么在工作了一天身心俱疲以后回家健身，这还不算上做饭和照顾家里的一切活物。
College was the most leisure I ever had outside of being a kid, even if I had moments of stress studying for finals etc.
大学是我这辈子除了孩童时期度过的最悠闲的一段时光，虽然我也有过备战期末时的巨大压力。
[–]Celticsanime_teenager 177 指標 12小時前
God I miss school so much lol
天呐我真的太怀念校园时光了。
[–]Bullsregnald 351 指標 14小時前
KDaver. New KD nickname
KD喜提新外号：杜如柴。
[–][OKC] Russell Westbrooktayroarsmash 146 指標 16小時前
Kevin Durant went hollow confirmed. Get that man a humanity and a bonfire.
雷霆球迷：实锤了，杜兰特这是直接活尸化了啊。赶紧给老哥弄团篝火和人性！
[译注4]：游戏黑暗之魂梗。活尸化指人被诅咒，变成干尸。人性可以将外边还原成人类，而篝火则是传送点。
[–]LakersJodellFlackhamJr 932 指標 18小時前
He's like a hypothetical interpretation of what humans looked like when aliens find our skeletons in 10 million years
湖人球迷：假如一千万年后外星人发现了我们的骨架，那么KD一定就是他们还原出的人类模样。
[–]Bullspacsun1220 288 指標 13小時前
Honestly though a big issue I have with the reconstruction of how prehistoric animals look is that we seem to just wrap the bones in skin and call it a day as if they wouldn't be covered in fatty tissue and other ornamentation (trunks, crests, etc) like modern animals.
不过说实在的，我觉得史前动物外观重构重建的一个大问题就是，咱似乎给动物骨骼包上一层皮肤就感觉万事大吉了，就好像它们跟现代的动物毫无相似点，没有一点脂肪组织和其他装饰（长长的鼻子、羽毛等等）
It's gotten better in recent years but if you Google "All Yesterday's" it's a book that covers it and shows how modern animals would look if we reconstructed then like extinct ones.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
近些年来已经好多了，但是如果你谷歌搜索“All Yesterday's”，这本书详细介绍了我上面所说的问题，而且它还展示了如果我们把重建那些灭绝动物外观的方法用在现代动物上，它们都会是什么样子。
感谢各位参加我的TED演讲。
[–]DustyBlind 381 指標 18小時前
I see Durant is the opposite of those San Antonio women.
懂了，KD就是那些圣城女人的反面啊。
[–]cutecouple1991 416 指標 19小時前
Durant shaped like a churro
KD外形跟油条一模一样的。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookAnti_Thon 753 指標 19小時前
He’s built like an HDMI cable
雷霆球迷：他这身材就跟一根高清数据线似的。
[–]LarryKleist711 219 指標 17小時前*
Jayson Williams (the shotgun toting former Net) said that Barkley would show up to practice with a sack of McDonald's and he would hop on an exercise bike and scarf down breakfast and talk shit to his teammate's.
杰森-威廉姆斯（那个随身携带猎枪的前篮网球员）曾说过，巴克利以前会带着一堆麦当劳的东西出现在训练场，直接跳上训练单车，狼吞虎咽地吃下早餐还跟队友喷脏话。
[–]Thunderthisguy2164 1002 指標 19小時前
Charles Barkley is a national treasure
雷霆球迷：巴克利真是个国宝啊。
[–]BucksBackblast 246 指標 18小時前
Anybody that hates Chuck, really just hates themselves.
憎恨巴克利的人其实是讨厌自己。
[–]RocketsA_Rolling_Baneling 158 指標 17小時前
Or is a female from San Antonio
或者是一位来自圣安东尼奥的女性。
[–]CavaliersBetchenstein 85 指標 12小時前
My girl, a big ol woman from San Antonio, said that even tho his comments did upset a lot of people, they had to admit it wasn’t a lie lol.
我女朋友就是巴克利口中的“圣安东尼奥大肥妞”，她跟我说，虽然巴克利的话让那里的人很多人感到不快，但是他们也不得不承认这话不假。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookFeedtheKiwi 2033 指標 19小時前
God I love Chuck.
雷霆球迷：天呐我太爱巴克利了。
[–]CavaliersDeanBDean 135 指標 15小時前
Chuck is great, but the joke isn't there if Ernie doesn't play a great straight man here with the setup.
骑士球迷：巴克利很棒，但在这个段子里，如果厄尼没有充当捧哏的扔出包袱的话，那这笑话的效果也出不来。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookAnti_Thon 833 指標 18小時前
I don’t understand why he gets so much shit here. He’s clearly hired to have a controversial opinion and just be entertaining.
Sometimes, he’s not too far off from basketball analysis anyways.
雷霆球迷：我不明白为啥巴克利总是在咱这话题区被喷。明显他是被雇来提出一些有争议的观点和增加娱乐效果的呀。
反正有时候巴克利的话也没跟篮球分析差太多。
[–][NYK] Dikembe MutomboJIBETTA 650 指標 18小時前
Because some guys take him literally and think he’s a hater of everything. When in reality, even back to when he was playing, he was never that serious about himself and is able to laugh at others, as well as himself.
Shaq on the other hand...
因为有些人把他的话当真理解了，而且觉得他就是个大黑子。但实际上，他即使是当年打球那会儿也从来没把自己当回事。能开别人的玩笑也能自嘲。
至于奥尼尔嘛……
[–]LarryKleist711 149 指標 17小時前
Trolling before trolling was cool. The "I am not a role model," ad campaign triggered a whole lot of folks who didn't care to understand the point he was making.
湖人球迷：在把大众当猴耍成为主流前的把大众大猴耍还是很有新意的。当时巴克利那段“我不是榜样”的广告宣传可是惹怒了不少人，他们根本不愿去理解巴克利想通过那个广告标语表达的意思。
[–][DAL] Dennis SmithMysteriagant 202 指標 17小時前
Shaq on the other hand..
Is also playing a character. But just like Chuck people take him too seriously
“至于奥尼尔嘛......”
他也只是在卖人设而已。但和巴克利一样，大家把他的话看得太认真了。
[–]NBAatmylevel 356 指標 17小時前
Shaq actually takes things way too personally though...
不过奥尼尔也的确很爱往心里去......
閱讀更多 ridiculous 的文章
