we too often define "romantic" in women's terms - sending flowers and cards, saving mementos and putting them in a box or scrapbook, gushing over chick romance movies, or listening to romantic songs all day.
我们经常在女人的术语中定义“浪漫”——送鲜花和卡片，保存纪念品，把它们放在盒子或剪贴簿里，涌向小鸡浪漫电影，或者整天听浪漫的歌曲。
wǒ men jīng cháng zài nǚ rén de shù yǔ zhōng dìng yì “làng màn ”——sòng xiān huā hé kǎ piàn ，bǎo cún jì niàn pǐn ，bǎ tā men fàng zài hé zǐ huò jiǎn tiē bù lǐ ，yǒng xiàng xiǎo jī làng màn diàn yǐng ，huò zhě zhěng tiān tīng làng màn de gē qǔ 。
men may not do these things, but many men do something more romantic than all that: they keep their love in their hearts forever.
男人可能不做这些事情，但许多男人做的事情比这更浪漫：他们把爱永远放在心里。
nán rén kě néng bú zuò zhè xiē shì qíng ，dàn xǔ duō nán rén zuò de shì qíng bǐ zhè gèng làng màn ：tā men bǎ ài yǒng yuǎn fàng zài xīn lǐ 。
my survey of 3000 men and women worldwide who tried reunions with lost loves asked, "how long did it take for you to get over your lost love?" responses from the men indicated that they took significantly longer to get over their lost loves than the women. some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices: the last choice listed was, "over 10 years." only men crossed out all the choices and wrote, "i never got over her!" while no doubt some women never got over their lost loves, either, only men wrote this comment on the survey.
我对全世界3000个试图与失去爱人团聚的男人和女人的调查，问道：“你花了多少时间才能忘掉你失去的爱？”男性的反应表明，他们比女人更早地忘掉失去的爱情。有些人对调查的选择不满意：列出的最后一个选择是“超过10年”。只有男人把所有的选择划掉，然后写道：“我从来没有忘记过她！”毫无疑问，有些女人也从来没有忘记过失去的爱情，只有男人在调查中写下了这个评论。
wǒ duì quán shì jiè 3000gè shì tú yǔ shī qù ài rén tuán jù de nán rén hé nǚ rén de diào chá ，wèn dào ：“nǐ huā le duō shǎo shí jiān cái néng wàng diào nǐ shī qù de ài ？”nán xìng de fǎn yīng biǎo míng ，tā men bǐ nǚ rén gèng zǎo dì wàng diào shī qù de ài qíng 。yǒu xiē rén duì diào chá de xuǎn zé bú mǎn yì ：liè chū de zuì hòu yī gè xuǎn zé shì “chāo guò 10nián ”。zhī yǒu nán rén bǎ suǒ yǒu de xuǎn zé huá diào ，rán hòu xiě dào ：“wǒ cóng lái méi yǒu wàng jì guò tā ！”háo wú yí wèn ，yǒu xiē nǚ rén yě cóng lái méi yǒu wàng jì guò shī qù de ài qíng ，zhī yǒu nán rén zài diào chá zhōng xiě xià le zhè gè píng lùn 。
adolescent boys are "not supposed" to cry over lost loves. but many of my male participants reported that, after their high school girlfriends broke up with them, they cried in private, every night, for months.
青春期的男孩们不应该为失去的爱而哭泣。但我的许多男性参与者报告说，在高中女友分手后，他们私下里哭，每天晚上，哭了好几个月。
qīng chūn qī de nán hái men bú yīng gāi wéi shī qù de ài ér kū qì 。dàn wǒ de xǔ duō nán xìng cān yǔ zhě bào gào shuō ，zài gāo zhōng nǚ yǒu fèn shǒu hòu ，tā men sī xià lǐ kū ，měi tiān wǎn shàng ，kū le hǎo jǐ gè yuè 。
my lost love reunion findings about romantic men paralleled results of my survey of adults who never tried lost love reunions. there were significantly more men than women who chose to fill out the survey, and they expressed strong feelings for their first loves, even though they had not contacted these women (and may never do so).
我失去的爱情团聚发现浪漫的男人平行我的调查结果的成年人谁从来没有尝试失去爱的团聚。选择调查的男性比女性多很多，她们对初恋表达强烈的感情，即使她们没有联系过这些女性（可能永远不会这样做）。
wǒ shī qù de ài qíng tuán jù fā xiàn làng màn de nán rén píng háng wǒ de diào chá jié guǒ de chéng nián rén shuí cóng lái méi yǒu cháng shì shī qù ài de tuán jù 。xuǎn zé diào chá de nán xìng bǐ nǚ xìng duō hěn duō ，tā men duì chū liàn biǎo dá qiáng liè de gǎn qíng ，jí shǐ tā men méi yǒu lián xì guò zhè xiē nǚ xìng （kě néng yǒng yuǎn bú huì zhè yàng zuò ）。
posts on the message board of my web site, lostlovers.com, are more represented by women than men. but appearances are misleading. actually, there are more men who are members of my site than women. the men don't post as often as the women, but they are reading!
我的网站留言板上的帖子，LooLoVistCo，比女性更能代表女性。但是外表是有误导性的。事实上，我的网站上的男性比女性多。男人不像女人那样经常张贴，但她们在阅读！
wǒ de wǎng zhàn liú yán bǎn shàng de tiē zǐ ，LooLoVistCo，bǐ nǚ xìng gèng néng dài biǎo nǚ xìng 。dàn shì wài biǎo shì yǒu wù dǎo xìng de 。shì shí shàng ，wǒ de wǎng zhàn shàng de nán xìng bǐ nǚ xìng duō 。nán rén bú xiàng nǚ rén nà yàng jīng cháng zhāng tiē ，dàn tā men zài yuè dú ！
men more often sign up for private phone consultations to talk about their lost loves than women.
男人们经常报名参加私人电话咨询，谈论失去的爱情，而不是女人。
nán rén men jīng cháng bào míng cān jiā sī rén diàn huà zī xún ，tán lùn shī qù de ài qíng ，ér bú shì nǚ rén 。
but it is a rare men's magazine that will print a story about love and romance. the editors tell me that they think men are uninterested. not so! when my research was quoted in playboy, it generated a lot of responses.
但这是一本罕见的男性杂志，将刊登一个关于爱情和浪漫的故事。编辑们告诉我他们认为男人不感兴趣。不是这样！当我在《花花公子》中引用我的研究时，它产生了很多反应。
dàn zhè shì yī běn hǎn jiàn de nán xìng zá zhì ，jiāng kān dēng yī gè guān yú ài qíng hé làng màn de gù shì 。biān jí men gào sù wǒ tā men rèn wéi nán rén bú gǎn xìng qù 。bú shì zhè yàng ！dāng wǒ zài 《huā huā gōng zǐ 》zhōng yǐn yòng wǒ de yán jiū shí ，tā chǎn shēng le hěn duō fǎn yīng 。
on occasions where romance is expected (such as valentine's day, birthdays or anniversaries), we should all remember to separate emotions from behaviors. men may not make scrapbooks of mementos of their love experiences, but they are every bit as loving, loyal, and yes, romantic, as women - and sometimes more so!
在浪漫的场合（如情人节、生日或周年纪念日），我们都应该记住把情感和行为分开。男人可能不会制作他们爱情经历纪念品的剪贴簿，但她们都像女人一样充满爱、忠诚和浪漫，有时甚至更多。
zài làng màn de chǎng hé （rú qíng rén jiē 、shēng rì huò zhōu nián jì niàn rì ），wǒ men dōu yīng gāi jì zhù bǎ qíng gǎn hé háng wéi fèn kāi 。nán rén kě néng bú huì zhì zuò tā men ài qíng jīng lì jì niàn pǐn de jiǎn tiē bù ，dàn tā men dōu xiàng nǚ rén yī yàng chōng mǎn ài 、zhōng chéng hé làng màn ，yǒu shí shèn zhì gèng duō 。
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