You Are Not Alone
你不是孤独的
Since I was 12 years old, I've suffered with a condition called Compulsive Hair Pulling. The physical devastation was severe, but the emotional damage was worse. When I was young, no one, including my doctor, knew how to help me. I was alone.
12岁以来，我就一直遭受着强迫性拔毛症的折磨。身体上的损伤是严重的，但是精神上的伤害更为严重。小时候，谁也帮不了我，包括医生也束手无策。我孤零无助。
Growing up, I didn't fit in anywhere and I suffered great shame knowing I'd brought this affliction upon myself. My hands seemed to have a mind of their own."What's wrong with me," I'd often wonder. Sometimes, people inquired about my lack of eyelashes and eyebrows. I was lonely, but I kept people at a distance. However, each night, before I fell asleep, I'd pray for wisdom, and for God to send someone who understood.
长大了，我在任何地方都无所适从，对自己患有这种病羞愧难当，痛苦不堪。我的双手似乎拥有自己的大脑。我常常问道：“我这是怎么了？”有时，人们问我为什么没有睫毛和眉毛。我很孤独，但却与其他人保持着距离。但是，每天晚上睡觉前，我都祈求增长才智，祈求上苍派来一个能理解我的人。
Then when I was 25, I read a letter, in Ann Landers, from a mom whose child suffered from Compulsive Hair Pulling. I could hardly believe my eyes. After all these years, I discovered, I was not alone.
25岁那年，我收到一封来自一个名叫安兰德斯的母亲写来的信，她的孩子也患有强迫性拔毛症。我几乎不相信自己的眼睛。这么多年来，我才发现我并非独自一人。
At that moment, my journey for healing began. I took small steps at first-telling only a few friends. Some of them tried to understand. Then, they began to share their secrets with me. I learned to see myself the way God saw me, someone deserving love.
从那一刻起，我开始了康复的历程。起初我只是迈出了一小步——告诉几个朋友。她们中一些人设法理解我，然后开始和我分享她们的秘密。我学会了用上帝看待我的方式看待自己——我是一个需要帮助的人。
One day, my miracle happened. A friend called with wonderful news. She just met a woman with Compulsive Hair Pulling-someone just like me. She gave me her phone number. I was ecstatic. I quickly dialed, and from the minute Christina answered, we began to chat like old friends, both thrilled to find someone who understood our pain. We planned to meet soon, and found out that even though I resided in a lightly populated, rural area, we lived only two houses away.
直到有一天，奇迹发生了。一位朋友打电话带来了好消息。她刚刚遇到一个有拔毛发癖的人—— 一个和我相似的人。她给了我那个人的电话号码。我欣喜若狂，快速拨通了电话。从克里斯蒂娜接电话的那一刻起，我们就像老朋友一样聊起来。彼此为找到了理解 自己痛苦的人而激动不已。我们打算尽快见面，却发现尽管我住在这个人口稀少的乡下，她和我仅仅两房之隔。
We immediately dropped our phones, and in the dark of night, ran outside in our pajamas, where we hugged, cried and talked for hours. I felt I'd just met my long lost twin, someone who understood my pain and struggles. There was no doubt about it. I was looking into the eyes of a miracle.
我们立即放下电话，在黑夜中穿着睡衣跑了出去。我们彼此相拥，痛哭流涕，聊了几个小时。我感觉自己好像找到了失散已久的孪生姐妹，她理解我的痛苦，理解我内心的挣扎。毫无疑问，我真的遇到了奇迹。
We walked back to my house, and into the light, Christina slowly lifted her long hair revealing patchy, bald spots. Then with a deep breath, I took off my makeup and let her see me as no one else ever had, not even my husband of 10 years. In that moment, I knew, my childhood prayer had been answered.
我们回到我的家里，在灯光下，克里斯蒂娜慢慢地撩起她的长发，露出斑驳的秃点。然后我一声长叹，卸下自己的浓妆，让她看了我的真实面目。从来没有人见过我的真面目，甚至是我结婚10年的丈夫都未曾见过。在那一瞬间，我知道我童年的祈祷得到了回应。
Yes, it was true. I was not alone.
千真万确，我并非独自一人。
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