04.19 不同於哈佛耶魯的雞湯,芝大畢業演講是一劑精神苦藥

厭倦了哈佛耶魯、斯坦福式的畢業雞湯;厭倦了萬金油的主題:遵從你的心聲,做真實的自己,追逐自己的激情,未來無限可能云云;厭倦了喧囂與躁動,焦慮與雞血。全美第一“修道院高校”芝加哥大學,畢業演講風格迥異,給教育界帶來了一股清流。

不同於哈佛耶魯的雞湯,芝大畢業演講是一劑精神苦藥

大衛·布魯克斯(David Brooks)畢業於芝加哥大學歷史系,系《紐約時報》專欄作家,美國知名公共知識分子。2017年畢業典禮,芝加哥大學第一次邀請非本校教職員工做畢業致辭,布魯克斯接受邀請,演講頗具芝大風。他回憶當年芝大的學習生活,探討芝大給予自己與未能給予自己的精神財富,集中體現了全美“第一修道院”內的精神世界。我在芝大現場聆聽了演講,印象深刻,一度打算翻譯全文,直至本期羊說團隊獨家翻譯製作。如果你是芝大人或嚮往芝大生活,歡迎分享轉載。

2017芝加哥大學畢業演講

大衛·布魯克斯

01

I was so honored to be invited to be the inaugural Class Day Speaker. But obviously since I’m a graduate of the University of Chicago, I couldn’t just accept the invitation I had to overanalyze it.

很榮幸能受邀來開放日作畢業典禮演講。但我是芝加哥大學畢業的,我不能簡單地接受邀請,我還要過度分析一下這次邀請。

My first thought was that since this is Chicago it couldn’t just be class day; maybe it was class conflict day with special appearances by Marx and Engels and Race, Class and Gender day with Betty Friedan T-Shirts.

我首先想到的是,既然這是芝大,所以這肯定不是簡單的開放日;也許這應該是階級鬥爭開放日,有打扮成馬克思和恩格斯的人出沒,或者有穿著貝蒂·弗裡德曼的T-恤,慶祝種族、階級、性別自由的學生。

Then I began wondering why the University of Chicago class is asking me of all people to be a speaker at this big event. I remembered the major addresses of my own time here and how intellectually rigorous they were.

然後我又開始想,為什麼芝大偏偏請我來這個重要的場合當致辭嘉賓。我還記得我上學那時候的致辭嘉賓,他們個個嚴謹治學、富有洞見。

I remembered that Freshman year a noted philosopher gave an uplifting Aims of Education Address called “Death, Despair, Desolation and the Futility of Human Existence.”

我記得新生入學年,一位有名的哲學家發表了振奮人心的《教育宗旨》演講,題為:“死亡、絕望、孤獨以及人類存在的虛無”。

Then senior year at commencement our speaker was a noted biologist. I found myself tremendously inspired by his uplifting talk, “The Sixteen Qualities of Nucleic Acid.”

然後到了高年級的畢業典禮上,致辭嘉賓是位知名的生物學家。我發覺自己被他激情四射的演講深深打動:《核酸的十六個特性》。

Eventually I realized that I am being invited because Chicago is trying to be like a normal school with a celebrity commencement speaker. But of course they couldn’t go for a big time celebrity right off the bat. Chicago is a place where you lose your virginity slowly.

最終我意識到,我之所以受邀,是因為芝大想努力地表現出,它是所“正常”的學校,有名人來做畢業典禮致辭嘉賓。當然,校方不能一下子就請一個大牌的明星。畢竟,在芝加哥就連失去自己的第一次都要很晚才實現。

For the first class day speaker, they wanted someone on TV, but only on PBS. Then, after everybody is acclimated to the outside speaker thing, they could go ahead and invite someone big.

因此,選開放日致辭嘉賓時,他們希望是在電視能看到的人,但是僅限PBS電臺。當所有人都習慣了致辭嘉賓來自外界時,校方就可以請點大人物了。

That’s when the truth came to me. I am University of Chicago’s gateway drug to Stephen Colbert. You, the class of 2017 will have to suffer through me so that future classes can enjoy Matt Damon. That’s what I call living for something larger than self.

我就是這麼領悟到了玄機。我呢,是芝大請來的“入門級”的扣扣熊(注:美國知名脫口秀主持人Stephen Colbert,被粉絲稱為扣叔,扣扣熊等,以毒辣幽默的評論而為人稱道。誘導性毒品可以是酒精、大麻等等,被認為是毒品的入門級。)。你們2017級的新生呢,要先過我這一關,然後才能在將來享受馬特·達蒙(注:美國著名演員,代表組作《諜影重重》、《拯救大兵瑞恩》、《火星救援》等)。我管這叫做為了更大的目標而活著。

When I realized what was going on, I confess I was tempted to do what you millennials are always doing. I decided I would feel triggered and unsafe and lead a campaign to get myself disinvited. All the historical traumas of being a lower-middle range celebrity came down on me and I retreated to my safe space, which is under the bar at Jimmy’s.

當我意識到我為什麼受邀時,我其實差點兒沒忍住做了你們千禧年一代愛做的事。我得覺得自己受到高能預警,沒有安全感,要發起一場運動,抵制這次自己的受邀。之前作為一名中低端名人的種種傷痛記憶都向我襲來,我退回了自己的安全區,就是吉米酒吧那裡。(注:千禧年一代指在1981-2000年出生的人)

But since none of you did your generational duty and got me blocked from this gig, I’ve decided to go ahead.

但既然你們沒有履行你們這一代的義務,像之前那樣抵制致辭嘉賓,我決定繼續說下去。

Since Chicago is new to this game I should note that there are certain traditions involved in these kinds of occasions.

既然芝加哥大學對於“正常”的畢業致辭還不熟悉,我需要指出在這種場合下一般有的傳統元素。

At occasions like this major universities ask a person who has achieved a fantastic career success to give you a speech telling you that career success is not important.

像今天這個場合,知名大學會請一位功成名就知名人士來給你們致辭,告訴你們,成功並不重要。

At occasions like this major universities often ask billionaires to give speeches telling you how much you can learn from failure. From this you can take away the lesson that failure seems really great if you happen to be Steve Jobs or J.K. Rowling.

像今天這樣,知名大學常常會邀請億萬富翁來致辭,告訴你們能從失敗中學到什麼。從這種講話中將領略到失敗是多麼了不起的事情,當然,你得恰好是喬布斯或者J.K.羅琳才行。

Then we speakers are supposed to give you a few minutes of completely garbage advice: Listen to your inner voice. Be true to yourself. Follow your passion. Your future is limitless.

然後我們這種嘉賓就該有模有樣得給你們一些爛大街的建議:遵從你的心聲呀,做真實的自己呀。追逐自己的激情呀,你的未來無限可能呀之類的。

First, my generation gives you a mountain of debt; then we give you career-derailing guidelines that will prevent you from ever paying it off.

事實上,我們這一代人讓你欠下一屁股債(即美國國債),然後給你一些絕對會搞砸事業的建議,讓你以後連債務都還不清。

That’s why when I’m asked to speak at these things I always try to tell graduates is that since you haven’t graduated from college before you may not know the etiquette. When you get your degree, it’s always nice to tip President Zimmer 10 or 20 bucks just to show he did a good job. It’s also nice to slip the class day speaker a few bills—maybe two or three thousand. Five thousand for the economy majors.

正因如此,輪到我講這些的時候,我總是試著向畢業生傳達,由於你們之前沒有經歷過大學畢業這事,可能就不知道這裡面的套路。當你接過畢業證書時,最好打賞校長齊默10到20美元,等於是為他的工作點個贊。當然最好也能給開放日致辭嘉賓塞些錢——塞個兩三千美元什麼的。經濟系的就給五千吧。

On these occasions I also always try to inspire students by telling them about the glittering possibilities in front of them. Within just a few short years many you will be sleeping on your parent’s couches while working for a completely dysfunctional NGO. Others of you will have soul crushing jobs as corporate consultants, working on power points presentations past midnight at the Topeka Comfort Inn.

在這種場合,我通常會試著鼓勵一下學子,告訴他們未來一些閃光般的機遇。過不了幾年,你們中就會有不少人躺在父母的沙發上呼呼大睡,平時也就是去些辦不下去的非政府組織裡打打醬油。還有一些會被企業諮詢一類的工作磨掉心智,天天為了 PPT 在 Topeka Comfort Inn熬到半夜。 (注:Topeka Comfort Inn是那種幾十美金一晚的廉價旅店,名字裡面帶“舒適”,略諷刺)

I’m here to help you navigate these exciting possibilities. I’m here to help you take advantage of the skills you learned at the University of Chicago. You learned how to dominate classroom discussion after having done none of the reading. You learned how to stare at professors with looks of complete rapt attention even though secretly you were completely asleep.

我今天來就是給你們說說該怎麼應對這類雞凍人心的未來。我過來是幫你利用好在芝大學到的技能。你學會了在不做任何閱讀的情況下,依然在課堂討論中稱霸一方。你學會了假裝全神貫注地盯著臺上的教授,實際上你早已昏昏欲睡。

I’m here to urge (you to) lives of public service, working on Capitol Hill for congressmen, while bringing the nation’s top leaders coffee and sexual tension. I’m here to urge you to serve the world’s poorest people in ways that will look really good on your resume, like organizing an anti-malarial bed net drives while rocking Jimmy Choos at Goldman Sachs. I’m here because, as someone who now teachers at Yale, you should have some sense of what it would have been like if you’d been accepted there.

你們要儘早從政為民,去國會山給眾議員工作,給政界高層人物端個咖啡、帶來性焦慮。(注:諷刺辦公室性騷擾以及指控性騷擾帶來的衝突)去幫助那些窮困潦倒之人,讓自己的簡歷看起來漂亮。比如組織個反瘧疾蚊帳推廣運動什麼的,同時自己拎著吉米·周的包包在高盛晃悠。我今天來是因為,由於我現在在耶魯教書,所以你應該能大概知道如果你去那兒的話,你感受到的氛圍是怎樣的。

But ultimately, I’m not here to give you some standard speech. This is Chicago. This is the only time in my life that I will get to address the graduating class at my own school, at the place that formed me down to my bones.

但話說回來,我來這兒不是為了熬一鍋程式化的雞湯。這裡是芝加哥。這是我人生中唯一一次能給我的母校畢業生致辭的機會。芝大給我打上了深深的烙印。

I confess I didn’t enjoy every day I spent here. I majored in History and Celibacy. I learned how to walk through campus while awkwardly averting my eyes from anybody I might know. But like all of you, I was changed fundamentally in this place.

說實話,我當時並非每天都很開心。我主修歷史也主修禁慾。我學會了如何在穿過校園的同時又假裝沒看到任何一個我可能認識的人。但和你們一樣,芝大徹底改變了我。

The older I get the more I become aware of how it shaped me. I’m 34 years out of college and I feel more influenced by the University of Chicago today than I did on the day I graduated.

隨著年歲的增長,我越發體會到芝大對我的影響。我畢業都34年了,可我感覺如今芝大對我的影響甚至比我畢業時還明顯。

So today I’d really like to talk to you about two things: The things Chicago gave me, which I’ve carried through life, and the things Chicago failed to give me, which I had to learn on my own.

所以今天我想給你們講兩點:芝大教給我讓我受用至今的東西,以及它沒有教給我從而我必須自己學習的東西。

02

When I think back on my time here I remember certain moments of great intensity. There was one very odd moment during my first year when I was reading a book called The Death of Tragedy by Nietzsche in a carol on the A level of the Regenstein.

回想我在芝大唸書的時候,我記得有那麼幾次,我受到了頭暈目眩的衝擊。我大一時有一次就很奇怪,我在讀一本書,書名是《悲劇的死亡》,尼采寫的,在芝大雷根斯坦圖書館A層。

I don’t know what it was: the driving semi insane power of Nietzsche thought, the overwrought and intoxicating nature of his prose, but somehow while reading that book reality seemed to slip its bounds. I lost all sense of where I was or who I was or how time was passing or whether it was passing at all. Hours flew by and I was just buried inside that book.

我也說不上怎麼回事。尼采思想的那種近乎癲狂的驅動力,還有他那彷彿魔力一般能引起情緒起伏的散文。總之,讀那本書的時候,虛實之間的界限模糊了。我全然分不清我在哪兒,我是誰,感受不到時間的流逝,覺得時間完全靜止。幾個小時過去了,我彷彿鑽到那本書裡。

I was not so much reading it; I was immersed in the torrent of its prose and the fury of its ideas. I was just a sort of dissolved, lifted out of myself, transported, subsumed, and some sort of trance or a state of awed reverence or under a spell cast by a semi crazy long dead mind.

我感覺自己不是在讀它,而是被裹在那散文的激流中,猛烈的思想沖刷著我。感覺自己彷彿在溶解,靈魂出了竅,前往別處,被吸收了。朦朦朧朧的,敬仰之情油然而生,好似被一位早就死了的半瘋之人施了魔咒。

There I was in a shabby carol on the basement level of the ugliest building on God’s green earth, and I was experiencing something close to transcendence. And when I awoke from that state I looked around startled and blinking, shocked to be re-entering the 20th century, and real life.

當時在地下室,在那棟世界上最醜的樓裡,我體驗了一把超驗的感覺。當我回過神的時候,我懵懵地看著四周,擠弄著眼睛,不敢相信自己還能回到20世紀,回到現實。

I never really became a Neitzsche fan, but it was exciting to know that the ideas of some dead genius, could transport me and give me a glimmer of a higher realm. There were other intensities during my time here. There was intense arguing with all my friends about bullshitty subjects at the dining hall hour upon hour. There were intense pseudointellectual debates with graduate students at Jimmys; There was the intensity of serious movie going at Doc Films; and most of all there was a certain intensity in class.

我從未成為尼采真正的粉絲,但振奮人心的是,我知道這些逝去的天才依然能帶我一把,去領略一下那更高的殿堂。我在芝大還體會過其他張力十足的時刻。我和朋友們激烈地爭論過一些亂七八糟的話題,在食堂裡唧唧呱呱幾個小時。我和畢業生們裝作知識分子一樣在吉米酒吧那裡爭論過。這種時刻還出現在Doc 影院放映著嚴肅電影時。當然,最激烈的還得算在課堂上。

In those days it was pure Great Books for the first two years, and our professors didn’t just teach them, they proselytized them. Some of the old German refugees from World War II were still around then, and they held the belief, with a religious fervor, that the magic keys to the kingdom were in these books. The mysteries of life and how to live well were there for the seizing for those who read well and thought deeply.

那時候,頭兩年都是存粹地讀一些偉大的書籍。而我們的那些教授們不僅僅是教這些書,而是在試圖讓學生皈依。老師中有一些德國的難民,二戰中倖存後依然活著,他們懷著宗教般的熱烈,相信通往極樂世界的魔法鑰匙就在這些書中。生命的神秘以及美好生活的神性,就在這些書裡,等著那些熱愛閱讀、思考深邃的人來發現。

There was a legendary professor named Karl Weintraub teaching Western Civ then. Years later, when he was nearing death he wrote to my classmate Carol Quillen about his experience teaching these books.

當時有位堪稱傳奇的教授,叫卡爾·溫特萊布(注:美國曆史學家,自1954年起在芝大任教,同時指導社會理論、文化歷史等人文學科方面的研究)教西方文明史。好多年後,他快去世之前,寫信給我的同學卡羅·奎林,講述他教這些書的體驗:

Teaching Western Civ, Weintraub wrote, “seems to confront me all too often with moments when I feel like screaming suddenly: ‘Oh, God, my dear student, why CANNOT you see that this matter is a real, real matter, often a matter of the very being, for the person, for the historical men and women you are looking at — or are supposed to be looking at!”

溫特萊布寫道:“教授西方文明史似乎經常把我推到想要尖叫的地步:”噢,天哪,這位同學,你怎麼就不明白,這個問題真的,真的很重要,事關一個人之所是,這些你正在學習的歷史人物,或者說你應該要去學習的歷史人物。

I hear the student’s answers and statements that sound like mere words, mere verbal formulations to me, but that do not have the sense of pain or joy or accomplishment or worry about them that they ought to have if they were TRULY informed by the live problems and situations of the human beings back there for whom these matters were real.

我所聽到的學生們的答案也好,陳述也好,只是純粹的詞句、空有語言的架子。沒有他們該有的心痛、喜悅、成就感和擔憂,如果他們打心底意識到這些人類所面對過的問題和境遇如何與生死休慼相關的話,就能真切地感受當時這些問題的重要。

The way these disembodied words come forth can make me cry, and the failure of the speaker to probe for the open wounds and such behind the text makes me increasingly furious. “If I do not come to feel any of the love which Pericles feels for his city, how can I understand the Funeral Oration? If I cannot fathom anything of the power of the drive derived from thinking that he has a special mission, what can I understand of Socrates? ...

這些學生們抽象的討論,常常催我淚下。而談論它的人要是沒能去探尋這些歷史傷痕以及文字背後之事的話,就會讓我非常憤怒。”如果我未能體會到伯利克利(注:雅典黃金時期(希波戰爭至伯羅奔尼撒戰爭)具有重要影響的領導人。他在希波戰爭後的廢墟中重建雅典,扶植文化藝術,現存的很多古希臘建築都是在他的時代所建)對他所在之城的愛,我又怎能理解那篇《葬禮演說辭》?如果我沒有去探究蘇格拉底堅信自己身負特殊使命的精神之源,我又如何理解他呢?

How can one grasp anything about the problem of the Galatian community without sensing in one’s bones the problem of worrying about God’s acceptance? “Sometimes when I have spent an hour or more, pouring all my enthusiasm and sensitivities into an effort to tell these stories in the fullness in which I see and experience them, I feel drained and exhausted. I think it works on the student, but I do not really know.”

如果一個人壓根不擔心上帝接不接受你這一問題,又怎麼能理解加拉太人面臨的處境呢?有時候,我花上一個多小時,拿出我全部的熱情和細膩向學生全面地講述我所體會到的一切,我感到自己被抽空了,精疲力竭。我覺得這對學生有用,但我並不確定。

It is a tragedy of teaching that sometimes the professors pour more into the class than the students are able to receive. But in truth that intense teaching is more like planting. Those teachers like Weintraub were inserting seeds that would burst forth years or decades later when the realities of adult life called them forth. I hated Edmund Burke when I read him here but years later he exploded in my mind and has become one of the great guides of my life. I was blandly indifferent to Augustine when I encountered him, it was only later that I understood the power of his loves and his wrestling with his own soul, and the need to be careful about what you love, because you become what you love.

教學的一個悲劇就是,有時候教授們在課堂上傾注的遠多於學生能吸收的。但實際上,這種高強度的教學更像是在樹人。像溫特萊布這樣的老師,是在播種,等到幾年甚至幾十年後,成年生活中的種種現實會澆灌這些種子,令其茁壯生長。我在芝大讀埃德蒙·伯克時,我很反感他。但多年後,他又重回我的腦海,併成為了我生活中的一位重要嚮導。我初讀奧古斯汀時,提不起什麼興致,直到後來我才理解了他那愛與靈魂掙扎之中蘊含的力量,明白了要謹慎得對待我之所愛,因為它會成為我之所是。

Chicago gave me glimpses of the mountain ranges of human existences. It gave me a set of longings, higher longings than any I had had. In the first place, I longed to know how to see. Seeing reality seems like a straightforward thing. You just look out and see the world. But anybody who is around politics or many other arenas knows how many people see the world with a distorting mirror, how many see only what they want to see, or what they can see by the filtering light of their depression, fear, insecurity or narcissism.

芝大讓我領略了人類文明的崇山峻嶺。它點燃了我內心的諸多渴望,我從未有過的更高層次的渴望。首先,我渴望看見。看見現實似乎是再明顯不過的一件事,只需要睜開眼,就能看到這個世界。但是關切政治討論以及其他領域的人都清楚,有太多人帶著扭曲的視角看世界,有太多人只想看到他們想看到的,或者,只能看到由他們壓抑、恐懼、不安全或是自戀的濾鏡處理過的世界。

Sometimes I think the whole disaster of the Trump presidency is because of a breakdown of intellectual virtue. A break down in America’s ability to face evidence clearly, to pay due respect to the concrete contours of reality. These intellectual virtues may seem elitist, but once a country tolerates dishonesty, incuriosity and intellectual laziness, then everything else falls apart.

有時候我覺得,特朗普當選總統的噩夢,正反映了求知美德崩壞的現實。美國人實事求是的能力崩壞了,沒有給事實的清晰輪廓以足夠尊重。這些求知的美德或許顯得有些精英主義,但一旦一個國家開始容忍欺瞞、無知、懶於探索,那就必將禮崩樂壞。

John Ruskin once wrote, “The more I think of it I find this conclusion more impressed upon me— that the greatest thing a human soul ever does is to see something, and tell what is saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see.” At Chicago, I encountered so many writers who could see so purely and carefully --Shakespeare, Hume, Socrates and George Eliot, George Orwell and Hannah Arendt. I met so many professors and students who could weigh evidence and who didn’t tolerate intellectual shabbiness. It aroused in me a desire to have that virtue—the ability to see clearly and face unpleasant facts.

約翰·拉斯金曾寫到:“我越是深入地思考,我就越傾向於得出這個結論——人類所能做的最了不起之事就是,看到了什麼,便如實地說出來。千百人口說不如一人思索,千萬人思索不如一人見過。”在芝大,我邂逅許許多多目光澄澈又細膩的作家:莎士比亞、休謨、蘇格拉底、喬治·艾略特、喬治·奧威爾還有漢娜·阿倫特。我見過許許多多注重實證、不容馬虎求知的教授和學生。這讓我也渴望具備此種品質——懂得觀看之道,直面不快的現實。

03

Then there was the second yearning which is the yearning to be wise. I really couldn’t tell you then what wisdom consists of, and I still can’t give you a concrete definition. But we all know wisdom when we see it. There is a deep humanity, gentleness, and stability to a wise person. That person can perceive, with love and generosity, the foibles of another heart. That person can grasp the nub of any situation, see around corners and has developed an intuitive awareness of what will go together and what will never go together.

第二種渴望,就是對智慧的渴望。我無法告訴你智慧由什麼構成,也說不上智慧的準確定義。但我們見到智慧時,我們都會認出它來。根植於心的人性、風度和穩重就體現在智者的身上。他能透過愛與包容去審視別人的缺陷;他能直指任何問題的核心;環顧四野,便可洞見凝聚之力與不可強求之事。

That wisdom, I imagine, comes from paying deep and loving attention to the people around you. It comes from many hours of solitary reflection. It comes from reading of the greats. It comes from getting out of your own century, thinking outside of your assumptions and embarking on a great lifelong journey toward understanding. That sort of humane wisdom was admired here. We wouldn’t have told each other this, because it would be too pretentious, but all those bullshitty dinner table conversations and bar stool conversations about the great ideas were attempts to put together the building blocks of that kind of wisdom. They were attempts to put ourselves together so we could be of use. They were attempts to imitate penetrating insight of Hume, the smile of Voltaire, and the gentle guidance of a dozen professors whose names you may know or may not know, some living Nathan Tarcov, Josef Stern; some of my old professors who are now dead.

在我看來,要具備這種智慧,我們需真情實意地關懷身邊的人,需要時常在獨處中自我反省,需要閱讀偉大的作品;需要我們跳出所置身的時代,跳出自己現有的成見,動身踏上求取理解的終身之旅。芝大推崇這種閃耀人性光芒的智慧。我們用不著奔走相告,因為那樣太過刻意。但我經歷的那些食堂扯談和酒吧論戰,都是在嘗試將這種智慧的零件組裝在一起。我們試著塑造我們自己,從而成為有用之人。我們試著像休謨那樣富有洞見,像伏爾泰那樣微笑、像許許多多的教授那樣誨爾諄諄,你們也許知道或不知道的名字,在世的有內森·塔可夫、約瑟夫·斯坦恩,還有的老教授,已別離人世。

04

Third, Chicago gave me a yearning for ideals. It is sometimes said that we humans seek happiness. We seek the fulfillment of our desires. But of course that’s not true. Peace and happiness is great for a while but after a bit it gets boring. “What our human emotions seem to require,” William James once wrote, “is the sight of struggle going on. The moment the fruits are being merely eaten things become ignoble. Sweat and effort, human nature strained to the uttermost and on the rack, yet getting through it alive, and then turning back on its success to pursue another more rare and arduous journey—this is the sort of thing that inspires us.”

第三,芝大給了我對理想的渴望。有時候人們說,人生的目的在於尋求幸福。我們尋求自身慾望的滿足。當然,這不是事實。平靜和幸福只是短暫的美好,很快人們就開始無聊了。“人類情感似乎需要的是”,威廉·詹姆士曾寫道:“能一直看到掙扎的景象。果實被吞下的那一刻,滿足感就頓顯卑劣。汗水與努力,人性承受極限之壓,痛苦不堪,然而度過了這一劫,又拒絕享受成功,轉而踏上更為人跡罕至的艱苦之旅——正是這種事情激勵著我們。”

James summed it up pretty well. Human existence is the same eternal thing: Some man or womans’ pains in pursuit of some exalted ideal.

詹姆士總結得很好,人類的存在有著一個永恆的主題:每個人的痛苦鋪就了追逐至高理想的路。

I recently saw the movie “Hidden Figures,” about some African American women who served the cause of space exploration and racial justice. Those women weren’t exactly happy in that movie, in the story told by the movie,but there was a spiritual intensity serving their two great ideals. That’s what we want in all of our lives. Intense struggling for the good.

我最近看了電影《隱藏人物》,講得是一些非裔的美國女性投身於太空探索和種族正義的事業。這些女性在電影中並不快樂,故事中看不出來她們的快樂。但是,有一股精神張力一直推著她們追逐這兩個偉大的理想。那正是我們所有人生命中想要的。對美好事物極力地爭取。

If nothing else, Chicago presented us with high ideals in profusion: the patriotism of Pericles, the commitment of Fermi, the American dream of Alexander Hamilton. I surely wasn’t smart enough to come up with my own philosophy or set my own ideals. But I could try on different ideals passed down to us from our betters, and I could see which ones seemed to fit, and I could join that parade.

芝大至少給我們呈現了泉湧般高尚的理想:伯里克利的愛國情操,費密的專注,亞歷山大·漢密爾頓的美國夢。我當然還沒有智慧到可以發明一套屬於我自己的哲學,或是創立屬於我自己的理想,但我可以嘗試這些賢者傳遞給我們的理想,看看我認同哪些,然後我參與到傳承它的隊伍中去。

They say that life here is about the life of the mind, but that is an injustice. The mind and the soul are not so easily separated. These yearnings that I have described transplanted me here--to see the world clearly, to be wise, to pursue ideals—these weren’t really the yearnings of the mind. They were yearnings from deeper, from the part of us that can only be called the soul.

他們認為,這兒的學院生活就是心智生活,但這話有失偏頗。心智和靈魂不是那麼容易分開的。我剛剛講過的這些渴望,想要看清這個世界,想要變得智慧,想要追求理想,這些不算是精神追求。他們源自更深層的地方,我們將其稱之為靈魂。

We don’t talk about this much in our secular culture, but there is a part of us that doesn’t care about Facebook likes, or annual income or even how popular you are. This is the part of us that yearns for permanent things, for beauty, truth, justice, transcendence and home. This is the part of us that is morally valuable, that each of us worthy of dignity and respect. The poet Rilke had an education like ours. He wrote, “I am learning to see. I don’t know why it is, but everything penetrates more deeply into me and does not stop at the place where until now it always used to finish. I have an inner self of which I was ignorant. Everything goes thither now. What happens there I do not know.”

我們在俗世中並不怎麼談論靈魂,但我們在一些時候也會不關心臉書上有沒有人點贊,不關心年收入,甚至不在乎自己紅不紅。這中時候,我們就是在追求永恆之物。追求美、真理、正義、超驗和家園。這正是我們身上道德價值的體現,是我們每個人應受尊重、享有尊嚴之所在。詩人里爾克曾有過類似的體會。他寫道:我學著看見。我不知為何如此,但此刻,一切都向我深處滲透,一切都不再停留在它們之前停下的地方。我體內還有一個我,我不知道的我。一切都到了未知的領地,那裡發生的事我並不知曉。

I’ll never be as deep as Rilke, but I was deeper when I left Chicago than when I arrived. More important, I graduated from the University of Chicago with a little sense of my soul and its yearnings.

我無法像裡克爾那樣深刻,但我離開芝大時,我比來芝大時更深刻了。更重要的是,我從芝大畢業時,朦朧地感知到了我的靈魂和渴望。

There was a lot of longing going on then. And there still a lot that goes on today. Two Saturdays ago my wife Anne and I got together with the philosophy professor Candace Vogler in Cobb Hall and led a seminar under the sponsorship of the Hyde Park Institute. It was a beautiful spring day and we all spent it inside, talking about character and spiritual growth, about Aquinas and Beethoven and Victor Frankl. We took a lunch break and set to going out to enjoy the sun. Some of the students had their sandwiches inside and had an internal debate among themselves about the immateriality of the soul. Only in Chicago. And I saw that day this place is still wonderfully itself. I felt some of that old intensity of purpose.

那時我懷著諸多渴望,今天也是如此。兩週前,我的太太和我還有哲學教授Candace Vogler在考伯大樓裡主持了一場研討會,由海德公園研究所贊助。那是個明媚的春日,我們都在室內,談論品格和精神成長,討論阿奎奈(注:意大利神學家)、貝多芬、維克多·弗蘭克爾(注:著名猶太裔心理學家,他是二戰集中營倖存者)。我們中午吃午飯時,出去沐浴了一會陽光。有的學生在室內吃著三明治,他們內部進行了一場辯論,關於靈魂的非物質性。芝大獨有的景象。那天我覺得,這裡仍然是個神奇的地方,我感覺到了那種舊時的強烈使命。

There is still the same honest and unironic hunger for wisdom. There is still the willingness to put your ideas out there and argue and listen. There is still that ardent searching for truth and the willingness to be silly in pursuit of it.

仍然可見的是那種誠肯端正的求知若渴,仍然可見的是人們願意亮出觀點,然後辯論和傾聽。仍然可見的是求真的熱情,以及不恥下問的精神。

Chicago gives you a taste for mountaineering, for climbing up toward the summits of human existence.

芝大讓你嚮往攀登高峰,朝著人類存在的頂峰不斷攀登。

Afterwards, you’re never quite content living in the flatlands, living solely in the stuff that gets written about on twitter, or even in the newspapers or talked about on reality TV. Many years ago a man named Robert Maynard Hutchins bet this institutions future on one proposition: that if you put the big ideas in front of a bunch of 20-year-olds you can change their life forever. I can tell you, it worked for me. It completely worked for me.

經此一役,你就再也不會滿足於停留在平地上,再也不會滿足於只是刷刷推特,甚至不會滿足於看看報紙或是真人秀節目。多年前,一位名叫羅伯特·梅納德·哈欽斯(注:美國教育家,曾任芝大校長)的人將芝大未來的希望押注於這一點:若能把偉大的理念擺在一幫20來歲的年輕人眼前,則會改變他們的一生。我可以告訴大家,這一理念在我身上是奏效的,芝大完全改變了我。

And this change that happens in those of us who went here is a very practical change.

這種改變,對於那些求學於此的人,也是務實可見的改變。

05

We have a Telos Crisis in this country. Many people do not have a clear sense of their goals and their own purpose. They don’t know what they are shooting for, or what fundamental convictions should guide their behavior. They’ve been trained in hyper-specialized research universities that tell them how to do things but don’t ask them to think about why they should do them; that don’t give them a forum to ask the questions, What is my own best life? What am I called to do? Why am I here?

目前在這個國家,我們正經歷著關於終極意義的危機。 許多人對自己的目標和目的沒有清晰的認識。他們不知道他們在追逐什麼,或者遵從什麼樣的根本信念行事。 他們在各自細分的專業領域接受大學的科研訓練,學校教他們怎麼做事,卻不教他們思考為何要做。大學也沒有為他們提供發問的論壇,去問我應該如何生活?我的使命是什麼?我為什麼要來這裡?

From college they enter the world we all live in, which is a busy world. The flow of a thousand emails, the tasks of setting up a career and family. These things distract from the great questions of purpose and meaning.

從大學裡走出,他們就進入了真實的世界,一個忙忙碌碌的世界。成千上萬的電郵要回,馬不停蹄地規劃事業、組建家庭。種種此般皆讓人無法聚焦於關乎生命意義與目的的問題。

I find that many people haven’t even been given a moral vocabulary to help think these things through.

我看到很多人就連這些思考德性話題的詞彙都不具備。

They haven’t been surrounded with a functioning moral ecology and a set of ideal to guide and orient them.

他們並沒有處在一個良好的道德生態之中,也甚少接觸那些能引導指點他們的理念。

And this produces a great emotional fragility. Our friend Nietzsche said that he who has a why to live for can endure any how. But if you don’t know what your purpose is then the first failure or setback can totally throw you into crisis and total collapse.

這就造成了一種巨大的情感脆弱。我們的朋友尼采曾說過,若知為何而生,遂可納受一切。但倘若你不知道自己的使命,那即使是第一次失敗或挫折就能置你於危機之中,讓你徹底崩潰。

I see this among my former students, and I see it over and over again in people in their mid-twenties. The young person without a conscious purpose graduates and hopes by piling success upon success he can fill the void within. He becomes what the writer Matias Dalsgaard calls: The Insecure Overachiever: “Such a person, ” Dalsgaard writes, “must have no stable or solid foundation to build upon, and yet nonetheless tries to build his way out of his problem. It is an impossible situation. You can’t compensate for having a foundation made of quicksand by building a new story on top of it. But this person takes no notice and hopes that the problem down in the foundations won’t be found out if only the construction work keeps going.”

我在我教過的學生身上看到過這種缺失,二十幾歲的年輕人身上也屢見不鮮。沒有明確目標的年輕人畢業了,指望用一次次堆砌成功來填補內心的空洞。他們成了 Matias Dalsgaard所謂的“焦慮的佼佼者”。(注:Matias是麥肯錫前僱員,指出在初入職場的年輕人身上特別明顯地存在一種焦慮狀態,後來他在書詳述了這種焦慮狀態的五個特點)Dalsgaard 寫道:“這種人一定沒有穩固的處事根基,但依然試圖讓自己從所遇的問題中解脫出來。這等於陷自己於不可能之境。你無法通過建造新的樓層,來彌補像流沙一般的地基。但這種人會繼續無視這點,一心希望只要修建工作繼續下去,地基的問題就不會被發現。”

But of course the reckoning always comes. It produces the crisis, the depression, the sadness. David Foster Wallace noticed it back in 1996: “It’s more like a stomach level sadness,” He wrote, “I see it in myself and my friends in different ways. It manifests itself in a kind of lostness.

但凡事終有報。危機感來臨,壓抑感和沮喪接踵而至。大衛·福斯特·華萊士(注:美國知名作家,其暢銷鉅著Infinite Jest被《時代》雜誌列為1923年至2005年間最偉大的百部小說之一)在1996年注意到了這點,他寫道:“這種悲傷深入直覺。我在自己身上、朋友身上都以不同的方式看見過。它表現出一種若有所失。”

“This is a generation that has an inheritance of absolutely nothing as far as meaningful moral values goes,” He wrote, “You can see the fruits of the Telos Crisis in the rising suicide rates, the rising drug addiction rates. You can see the social distrust. You can see the isolation and the lives of people who are adrift.

“從意義性與道德觀念方面來看,這是繼承了虛無的一代人。終極意義危機的惡果體現在不斷攀升的自殺率上,體現在不斷增加的毒品成癮上,你看到社會信任缺失,不少人過著離群索居,漂泊無依的生活。”

The fact that you went to Chicago means you’ll always have an orientation that is slightly different than the mainstream culture, slightly countercultural. You’ll have a harder time being shallow. You may not know your life’s purpose or your calling, but you know that that mountain world exists and you can explore it, and that the answers can be found up there in the Museum of Beautiful Things, and that knowledge itself will be a source of great comfort and stability.

你到芝大來,就意味著你一定會受到一種指引,它與主流文化略有不同,稍微逆流而行。膚淺地過活,反而變得不易。你可能並不知道生命的意義或是你的使命,但是你知道崇山峻嶺就在那裡等著你去探索,人生的諸多答案就在那座美好之物的博覽館裡,知識會給你莫大的安慰,讓你變得冷靜沉穩。

Life at the university of Chicago is not always filled with day to day happiness. But it gives you glimpses of cosmic happiness, glimpses of understanding the long story all involved in. And if you have cosmic joy, because you know this story is ultimately about something meaningful, holy and good, you can bear the day to day miseries a lot better. So that is the good side of what I got here and what I hope you got here. Let me finish by speaking very briefly about what the University of Chicago did not give to me, and where it failed me.

在芝大的生活並非流淌著日常幸福。但它會讓你瞥見更大我的幸福,瞥見人類漫長求索之旅的宏圖。如果你體會到了這種大我的歡愉,因為你知道它最終關切的是生命的意義,神聖與美妙,那你自然能更好地承受日常的痛苦。這些就是芝大賜予我的美好,也是我期望大家也能從這兒獲取的。最後我想簡單說一下芝大沒能教給我的東西,芝大辜負我的地方。

06

Now here I speak provisionally, because I’m going to start talking about the school as it was in the 1980s, and a lot of the problems may have been fixed by now.

我得聲明我說的這些都是陳年往事,因為我下面談到的是芝大上世紀八十年代的情況。很多問題現在可能都不是問題了。

It is traditional for alumni to say that the college was better in their own day. As both an alum and a trustee I can tell you that’s nonsense here I’m here to tell you that Chicago is way better now than it was when I was here, and way better than it has ever been.

校友們大多會說舊時的校園有舊時的好。身為芝大的校友和校董之一,我覺得這種說法是無稽之談。事實上,現在的芝大遠遠好過我求學時的芝大,也遠遠好過以往任何時候的芝大。

But in my era, and maybe today, Chicago did not prepare its students for intimacy. As I’ve grown older I’ve come to see that the capacity for intimacy is one of the more crucial talents for a fulfilling life.

但我上學那會兒,可能今天依然如此,芝大並未教會學生如何建立親密的人際關係。隨著我年歲漸長,我開始意識到,構建親密關係的能力是促成圓滿人生的重要本領之一。

That’s because the primary challenges of life are not knowledge challenges, they are motivational challenges. It’s not only knowing what is good, but being completely and passionately devoted and loving what is good.

這是因為,人生面對的首要挑戰不是知識的挑戰,而是動力的挑戰。人生在於不僅要知道何為益事,還要帶著愛與熱血全身心投入其中。

It’s about passionately loving your spouse and family in a way that brings out their loveliness. It’s about loving your vocation with fierce dedication. It’s about loving your community with a serving heart. It’s about loving your philosophy or your God with a humble fervor.

人生在於熱烈地愛著你的配偶和家人,以至於煥發出他們內心的愛。人生在於堅定地熱愛自己的事業,在於服務自己所愛的社區,在於以虔誠赤子之心愛著自己奉行的哲學或上帝。

A fulfilled life is moving from open options to sweet compulsions. It’s about saying no to a thousand things so you can say a few big yeses to the things you are deeply bound to. It’s about loving things so much that you’re willing to chain yourself down to them. The things you chain yourself to are the things that set you free.

圓滿的人生是從開放式選擇走向甜蜜獻身的過程,是你千萬次的拒絕只為去做幾次你深深牽掛之事,是你願意為把自己和所愛之事綁在一起。你雖把自己綁在它們身上,可它們卻會給你自由。

And it’s not only loving Platonically. It’s actually and intimately living out the day to day realities of your fierce love. It’s intimately sharing the same bathroom or getting up every day and writing on the same damn laptop.

這種愛不只是柏拉圖式的理想之愛,而是將內心的熱愛真正地融入到日常生活的點滴之中。與朋友們共享浴室,同起同睡,在共享的電腦上寫寫畫畫。

It’s about mastering all the phases of intimacy: being open to the first enticing glance. Having the energy to really learn about those people, like those people on a first date who learn how much they have in common with each other and treat these things as amazing miracles: “You don’t like foigras? Neither do I! We should get married!”

它在於把握親密關係的每個階段:對第一個媚眼回以示意。真正地花精力瞭解那些人,就像是第一次約會的人那樣,發現彼此之間的有諸多的共同點,會認為這是驚人的巧合:“你不喜歡佛加格拉斯? 我也是! 不如我們結婚吧!”

It’s about having the courage to engage in the reciprocal cycle of ever greater vulnerability. It’s about enduring faithfully when there is some crisis and you’re not sure you believe in this relationship, this career or this institution. It’s about forgiveness for the betrayals committed against you and asking forgiveness when you have let down your friends or your profession or your spouse. When you make an intimate connection—to a spouse, a friend, a profession or a community or faith—you are as Leon Wieseltier puts is, “consenting to be truly known, which is an ominous prospect.” And so one needs the skills of intimacy to live well in such close proximity. One needs the skills of intimacy to achieve the kind of fusion that leads to real joy—when a couple become one loving entity, when you and your vocation have merged into a single identity, when your love for your God or your philosophy is a complete surrender.

它在於勇於直面循環往復的脆弱感。在於遭遇危機後依然堅守,即便自己不確定是否還相信份關係、這份事業或這個機構。在於寬恕對你的背叛,當你辜負朋友、工作失誤或是傷了配偶的心時,能請求諒解。當你與配偶、朋友、職業、社區或信仰建立密切聯繫時,你就像里昂·維斯提耶所說,“願意被他人真正地瞭解,雖然前路危機四伏。”所以人們需要學會建立親密關係,實現相處之道。 人們需要學會建立親密關係,彼此相依,體悟人生真趣——一對夫婦要成為愛的化身,你和你的事業要合為一體,你應完全獻身於自己所信奉的哲學或上帝。

What I’m describing here are emotional arts. They are not natural but have to be acquired by repeated vulnerability, commitment and experience.

我在這裡談的是情感的藝術,我們並非天生就懂得它,需要反覆經歷脆弱不堪、矢志不渝、人情歷練後才能掌握它。

07

When I was here at Chicago, we students by and large did not excel at intimacy. We were artful dodgers, with a superb ability to slip out of situations at moments when deep heart to heart connection might come. We were in the business at age 20 or 21 of trying to make a good impression, so of course we weren’t going to show the unattractive sides of ourselves, which is an absolute prerequisite of intimacy.

我在芝大唸書時,我們身為學生總體上都不太善於建立親密關係。我們非常善於逃避,尤其是迴避那些心有靈犀般羈絆或將到來的場合。我們當時正忙著在二十歲出頭時一鳴驚人,自然不想展示自己平庸無奇的一面,可這正是建立親密關係的絕對前提。

We were busy with our work and our books and student activities, and we told ourselves, idiotically, that we didn’t have time for deep relationships. We too often approached each other shrouded in what Candace Vogler calls an “edifice of thought.” When confronted with uncertainty or a difficulty, we tended to revert to our strengths, which were our IQs and our thinking and talking skills. We sought to be masters of our life, rather than surrendering to emotions which are so much out of our control.

我們忙著學業、看書、參加學生活動。我們自以為是地認為,我們才沒空去建立什麼交心的情感關係。我們幾乎總是在靠近彼此時,裹著一層坎迪斯·沃格勒稱之為“思維的虛假大廈”的東西。(注:芝大哲學教授,研究領域涉及倫理學,女性主義,社會政治哲學等等)當碰到不確定的情形或難關時,我們總愛藉助於我們的強處,比如智商、思維能力、口才等。我們想成為自己生活的主宰者,而不是向我們幾乎無法控制的情緒繳械投降。

And the university didn’t help. The atmosphere at Chicago then was emotionally avoidant from the top down. Too much of life was defined by what could be discussed in the classroom, and everything else just fell by the wayside. There wasn’t enough dancing and drinking or any of the other activities that make diffidence possible. There wasn’t enough joint physical activity.

芝大在這件事上沒有幫上忙。彼時的芝大氛圍,從上到下都透著一股逃避情感話題的感覺。學習生活的主題是課堂上能討論什麼,其他事情都會半途而廢。沒有什麼舞會、酒會或是任何其他讓大家袒露真我的活動。當時也沒什麼太多聯合的體育賽事。

Too much emphasis was put on scholarship and professionalism, and those things were defined by a pose of detachment, specialization, critical thinking, aloofness and a mythical belief in cool reasoning.

當時更多的是強調學術表現和職業素養,而這兩樣又主要表現為情感抽離、專業化、批判性思維、冷眼旁觀以及對冷靜推理的迷之執著。

Too much time was spent studying, which is solitary activity. Too much of student life was oriented around the Reg, and not because couples were fooling around in the stacks.

大部分時間都花在了學習上,基本上都是獨來獨往。過多的學生生活圍繞著圖書館,但原因不是因為情侶們在書架的掩護下談情說愛。

I left Chicago better at reading books than at reading people.

我離開芝大時,讀書的本事遠勝讀人。

I did not have the eyes to see the beauty in people who were so open hearted that they had nothing particularly interesting to say. I didn’t know how to handle the deepest and scariest intimacies.

我的眼睛看不到善良誠懇之人身上的美,因為我那時覺得他們沒什麼思想深度。我也不知道如何應對深刻卻又讓人生畏的親密關係。

I’m hoping I’m a little better. I’ve had some graduate tutors in this.

但願我現在好一些了。觀眾席裡有當時我的教學輔導。

Life will offer you a diminishing number of opportunities to show how smart you are. It will offer an infinite number of occasions that require kindness, mercy, grace, sensitivity, sympathy, generosity and love. Life will require that you widen your repertoire of emotions, that you throw yourself headlong into other people. That you take the curriculum of intimacy. If you haven’t mastered it yet, I ask you to turn to this task intentionally now.

隨著我們不斷長大,生活中可以證明自己有多聰明的機會變得越來越少。但生活中有無數個場合需要善良、仁慈、優雅、敏銳、同情、慷慨和愛。生活需要你拓寬自己情緒的全部曲目,需要你徑直去和他人打交道,需要你上一學期的親密關係課。如果你還未掌握它,我希望你現在就開始刻意準備吧。

So I’m asking one final thing of you members of the Class of 2017. Tomorrow you will graduate. And that is a great accomplishment. But before you do, I hope that tonight you will do one thing to cap your education. Go to the Regenstein with a special friend in your life. Find the spot deep in the stacks where Nietzsche’s “The Death of Tragedy” is found. But don’t open the book.

我最後還有一個希望,2017屆的同學們。明日你們即將畢業,這當然可喜可賀。但在明天到來之前,我希望今晚你能做一件錦上添花之事。和一位對你意義非凡的人一同去圖書館。在書堆的深處找到那本尼采的《悲劇的死亡》。但是不要翻開它。

Take off some of your clothes and fool around.

褪去幾件衣裳,邂逅美好時光

Thank you and God bless you.

謝謝,上帝保佑你們。


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