16 During the period of the Seventh Five-Year Plan we must in no way neglect, even in the slightest degree, the production of grain, but should keep it growing stedadily.
這裡出現了鏡像重複(mirror-image statement), 決不能忽視...一點也不能....必須...
決不能忽視...一點也不能 = Never
but 換成 on the contrary, 對比更突出一些
During the period of the Seventh Five-Year Plan we must never neglect the grain production, on the contrary, we must steadily increase it.
17 After public grain and taxes are placed under the administration of the Central People's Government, local comrades should not only refrain from adopting a passive and irresponsible attitude toward financial and economic work, but also show a more active and responsible attitude toward it.
典型的鏡像重複，不僅不能消極。。。而且要積極。。。
第一反應修改的是，直接去掉消極那一段，改用 Must show active.... 即可。
不過作者還是保留了消極那一段，只是換了個說法 far from losing interest in ...
另外，作者的修改稿中沒有提到一次 attitude，這裡留個待解問題 why，參考第一章的內容（我因為直接跳過了第一章，所以這部分待以後回看第一章再補）
After public grain and taxes are placed under the administration of the Central People's Government, comrades in local governments, far from losing interest in financial and economic work, should take even greater responsiblity for it.
18 Compared with the more than a hundred million workers and staff members in state-owned enterprises and institutions of the whole country, the number of hired workers is very small. Judging from the situations as a whole, their number is only a very small one.
這個很明顯重複了，兩段類似的比較，不過比較的範圍不一樣，也不好直接去掉，那就把 small 換掉，同義詞比如 few 也不錯
這段還有個問題是，指代不明，比較的對象分別是什麼，沒有說清楚。
第一段比較，貌似是國企也私企？國企說了，但後面只說了 hired workers, 具體指那些工人不明。
第二段比較，整體貌似是指全國吧（國企+私企）
Compared with the more than a hundred million workers and administrative personnel in public enterprises and institutions throughout the country, the number of prviately hired workers is very small. In terms of the overall situation, there are only a few of them.
19 Things are getting better with us very passing day and can't be getting worse.
在變好。。。不會變壞。。。是有點囉嗦，而且時間模糊，原文是想說 我們（生活）現在在變好，以後也不會變壞，就好像歷史的車輪不會倒退一樣。
Things are getting better for us with very passing day, and the tide of progress cannot be turned back.
20 China's strategy for scientific and technoligical development must be both forward-looking and fair-sighted, and it must serve the development of the present and future, not the past
這個直接看作者的建議，他提出這裡的 serve 用的不對，沒有 serve the past 說法，過去的不再，如何服務之？ 換成 adapt to 就合理了
China's strategy for scientific and technoligical development must be both forward-looking and fair-sighted, and it must be adapted to the development of the present and future, not the past
閱讀更多 貓錨 的文章
