[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports. 国会正讨论新削算赤字法案 市长想再度提高地铁票价 今天最高气温是45度 还有各球队正在比赛
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Phoebe: What about Glen? He could be a Glen. 格伦如何? 可以叫他格伦
Monica: Nah... not-not special enough. 不，还不够特别
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon? 阿格曼侬如何?
Monica: Waaay too special. 太特别了
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu) 我饿死了，我想吃什么呢?
Chandler: Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken. 拜托，别又是宫保鸡丁
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think? 你看了那节目，感觉如何?
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little. 我觉得你可以更开放一些…
Ross: (Entering) What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place. 为何选在这种二流餐厅?
只有你才会选这种地方
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila. 闭嘴，这样满不错的 来，抱一个 我想我们可以喝点龙舌酒了
Chandler: I know I am.
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots? 谁要来点儿
Monica: Yeah. 我也要
Phoebe: I'm in. 我也要
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross? 给你。罗斯？
Ross: Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy. 我不喝酒
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
Rachel: Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time. 抱歉，我们迟到了 我们有点忘了时间
Ross: ...But a man can change. (Downs a shot) 男人可以改变 (Ross的有点酸了)
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Ross: Anyone want me to appraise anything? 有人要我评价任何事物吗?
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer. 宾太太，我得告诉你 我拜读过你所有的大作 我是说真的 我读”浪漫夜”后 就一心想成为作家
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book. 别这么说 我能办到大家都能办到 你只需先描述几个欧洲城市 以委婉语形容男性生殖器
这样就能写成一本书了
Chandler: Myyy mother, ladies and gentlemen. 各位，我母亲
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226? 226房有留言吗?
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger? 你还好吧，猛男?
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one) 我还好
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight? 你今晚怎么了?
Ross: Nothing. Nothing nothing nothing. 没什么
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it. 谢谢 是因为那个意大利舔手男?
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking. 不，是因为被他舔的人
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you. 她应该和你在一起
Ross: You're good. 你是个good guy
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why? 罗斯，我卖出上亿本的书 知道为什么吗?
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing? 因为封面上的辣妹露两点?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off. 不，因为我知道怎样去描写会被女人们爱上的男人 相信我，保罗没有卖点 没人有兴趣翻325页 他不过是个二等货
不过是最后被你终结
Ross: When?
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is. 他不女人心中的英雄 你知道我们心中的英雄是
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing? 封面上露两点的猛男?
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you! 是你啊
Ross: Please. 别逗我了
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy... 不，我是说真的 你既聪明又性感
Ross: Right.
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me. 你会走出阴霾的，相信我
(She kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: Uh-oh...
(...Then full on the mouth)
(Enter Joey)
Joey: Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street. 我到街上尿就好了
Commercial Break
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