體操教練，前芭蕾舞演員和舞蹈教練。她是UCLA女子體操隊的退役主教練，被認為是有史以來最優秀的大學體操教練之一，在擔任教練期間，曾帶領體操隊七次獲得全國冠軍。
OK, I have a question for all of us. You ready? Is all winning success?我問大家一個問題，準備好了嗎？每一次勝利都代表成功嗎？
Whoa. OK.喔，好的
I am the recently retired head coach of the UCLA Women's Gymnastics Team, a position that I held for 29 years.我最近從UCLA 女子體操隊總教練這個職位退休，我待在這崗位29 年了
And during my tenure, I experienced a lot of winning. I led our team to seven National Championships, I was inducted into the UCLA Athletic Hall of Fame and I was even voted the Coach of the Century by the Pac-12 Conference.我在任期中，嘗過很多次勝利的滋味。我領著我們隊贏得七次全國冠軍，也被編入學校的運動員名人堂，我曾經獲選太平洋十二校聯盟，本世紀最佳教練
Winning is really, really, like, really, really fun.獲勝真的非常、非常、非常有趣
But I am here to share my insight: winning does not always equal success. All across America and around the world, we have a crisis in the win-at-all-cost cultures that we have created. In our schools, in our businesses, in politics, winning at all cost has become acceptable. 不過我今天想分享我的見解：獲勝並非就是成功了。美國還有全世界的人們，正面臨自己招致的危機，那就是不計代價獲勝的文化。在學術、商業，或政治領域，大家逐漸接受這種文化。
As a society, we honor the people at the top of the pyramid. We effusively applaud those people who win championships and elections and awards. But sadly, quite often, those same people are leaving their institutions as damaged human beings. 在我們的社會里，站在金字塔頂端能得到榮耀。我們過度為那些贏得冠軍、選舉、獎項的人喝彩，但常常這些人卻是遍體鱗傷。離開原本所在的團體，這令人非常難過。
Sadly, with straight A's, kids are leaving school damaged. With awards and medals, athletes often leave their teams damaged, emotionally, mentally, not just physically. And with huge profits, employees often leave their companies damaged. 同樣地，成績優異的學生，卻也受到傷害後離開校園。運動員囊括獎項和獎牌後，時常傷痕累累離隊。不只是身體上的傷害，情感、心理也可能無所幸免。創造鉅額營收的公司，員工時常帶傷離開公司。
We have become so hyper focused on that end result, and when the end result is a win, the human component of how we got there often gets swept under the proverbial rug, and so does the damage.我們過度專注在結果上，若最終迎來勝利，讓勝利得以實現的人們卻沒得到應有的表彰，傷害也隱藏了起來
So I'm calling for a time-out. Time-out. We need to redefine success. Real success is developing champions in life for our world, win or lose.所以我要喊時間暫停。時間暫停。我們必須重新定義成功是什麼。真正成功是為世界培養人生的贏家，不論輸贏
Real success is developing champions in life, not for your team, not for your business and, I'm sad to tell you, not even for your Christmas card bragging rights. Sorry.真正成功是培養人生的贏家，不是為了隊伍，也不是為了公司，更不是為了在聖誕節卡片上炫耀。我很抱歉
So how do we do this? First of all, you may be able to dictate your way to a win, but you can't dictate your way to success.我們該怎麼做？首先，你也許能決定獲勝的方法，卻不能支配成功的方法。
Let me take you back to 1990, when I was first appointed the head coach of the UCLA Women's Gymnastics Team. And I would like to share with you that I've never done gymnastics. I grew up in the world of ballet. I have never done a cartwheel, and I couldn't teach you how to do a proper cartwheel.讓我說說 1990 年，當時我剛接了UCLA女子體操隊的總教練。我想跟你們說我從來沒練過體操。我跳著芭蕾長大。我從沒翻過筋斗，所以我沒辦法教你完美的筋斗是什麼樣子
It's sadly true. And I knew nothing about how to develop a team culture. The best I could do was mimic other coaches who had won. And so I became tough-talking, tough-minded, relentless, unsympathetic, bullish, un-empathetic and oftentimes downright mean. I acted like a head coach whose only thought was to figure out how to win.很遺憾，卻是真的。我也不知道要如何建立一套隊伍文化。我能做的只有模仿其他獲勝的教練。所以我開始變得刀子嘴，卻沒豆腐心，光講求實際效果，很冷漠、專橫、沒同理心，也常常很尖酸。我的樣子就像個總教練，只想著要如何贏得勝利。
My first few seasons as a head coach were abysmal, and after putting up with my brash coaching style for a few years, our team asked me for a team meeting. Well, I love team meetings, so I said, "Yay! Let's have a team meeting." And for two solid hours, they gave me examples of how my arrogance was hurtful and demeaning.
我當總教練的最初幾季實在是非常糟糕，我的隊伍在忍受我如此自以為是的風格後，找我開了隊伍會議。我很喜歡開隊伍會議，我跟他們說：「好啊，來開會吧！」 整整兩個小時後，他們給了我很多例子，讓我知道我的自大讓他們感到受傷、輕視。
Yeah, not yay. They explained to me that they wanted to be supported, not belittled. They wanted to be coached up, not torn down. They wanted to be motivated, not pressured or bullied. That was my time-out, and I chose to change.好吧，這樣並不好。他們跟我說，想要感到有人支持而不是受貶低。想要受訓練進步而不是體無完膚。想要獲得動力 而不是因壓力或霸凌而受苦。這是我的時間暫停，我選擇做出改變。
Being a dogmatic dictator may produce compliant, good little soldiers, but it doesn't develop champions in life. It is so much easier, in any walk of life, to dictate and give orders than to actually figure out how to motivate someone to want to be better. And the reason is -- we all know this -- motivation takes a really long time to take root. But when it does, it is character-building and life-altering.一個固執己見的獨裁者也許能有優秀士兵服從，卻無法創造人生的贏家。各行各業中，相比試著激勵他人去愈加進步，憑己見下指令會簡單非常多。我們都知道原因是動力需要很長時間紮根，不過一旦獲得動力，便能建立良好人格、 改變生命樣貌
I realized that I needed to fortify our student-athletes as whole human beings, not just athletes who won. So success for me shifted from only focusing on winning to developing my coaching philosophy, which is developing champions in life through sport. 我認為應該把隊員當作完整的人類，而不只是獲勝的運動員。因此成功之於我是將重心從只專注獲勝轉往建立教練哲學。也就是藉由運動創造人生贏家。
And I knew if I did this well enough, that champion mentality would translate to the competition floor. And it did. The key ingredient was to develop trust through patience, respectful honesty and accountability -- all of the ingredients that go into tough love.我知道如果我做得夠好，贏家心態也會展現在比賽會場上。結果真是如此。關鍵是建立信任、保持耐心、誠實尊重他人、還要擔起責任，這些因素都會構成堅固的情誼。
Speaking of tough love, Katelyn Ohashi is a perfect example of this. You may have all seen her floor routine. It has had over 150 million views. And the consensus is, her performance is pure joy. However, when Katelyn came to UCLA, she was broken in body, mind and spirit. 說到情誼，Katelyn Ohashi 就是一個很好的例子。你也許看過她的地板動作。網絡上有超過一億五千萬觀看人次。大家都認為她樂在其中。但在她剛到我們學校時，身體、心裡還有精神都傷痕累累。
She had grown up in a stereotypical, very high-level athletic world, and she was damaged. So when Katelyn came to UCLA her freshman year, she found her inner rebel quite well, to the point where she was no longer able to do gymnastics at the level at which she was recruited. 她的生長環境是非常典型、 高標準的運動圈，她因此身受其害。所以當她大一來到我們學校，她變得有點叛逆，體操表現不如剛入隊時那樣出色。
And I will never forget a team meeting we had halfway through her freshman season. We were in there with the team, the coaching staff, the support staff, sports psychologist, and Katelyn very clearly and unapologetically said, "I just don't want to be great again."我永遠無法忘記她大一過一半時那次隊伍會議。整個隊伍、教練團隊、支持團隊，還有運動心理師都出席了，Katelyn 非常清楚且面無愧色地表達：“我沒意願再次傑出了”
I felt like I got sucker punched. My first thought was, "Then why the heck am I going to honor your scholarship?" It was a really snarky thought, and thankfully I didn't say it out loud, because then I had clarity. Katelyn didn't hate gymnastics. Katelyn hated everything associated with being great. 我像是受到意料外的一擊。我的第一個想法是 “這樣我哪能給你獎學金？”這想法很不可取，還好我沒說出來，因為她也給瞭解釋。她並不討厭體操，只是討厭任何事汲汲營營。
Katelyn didn't want to be a winner, because winning at all cost had cost her her joy. My job was to figure out how to motivate her to want to be great again, by helping her redefine success.Katelyn不想贏，因為不計代價的獲勝使她賠進了所有的快樂。我的職責便是想辦法鼓舞她重拾動力，重新定義成功這件事，以追求卓越
My enthusiasm for that challenge turned into determination wen one day Katelyn looked me in the eye and said, "Ms. Val, I just want you to know, everything you tell me to do, I do the exact opposite."我面對這樣的挑戰會化熱情為決心，是因為有天Katelyn對我說：“教練，我只想讓你知道， 我處處都跟你唱反調”
Yeah, it was like, yeah, Katelyn, challenge accepted. OK.就好像是，好Katelyn，我接受挑戰
And further proof that dictating was not going to win. So I embarked on the painfully slow process of building trust and proving to her that first and foremost I cared about her as a whole human being. 這也進一步證明，命令起不了效果。所以我開始走上建立信任這條遙遙無期之路，也想要證明我最在乎的是她這個人本身。
Part of my strategy was to only talk to Katelyn about gymnastics in the gym. Outside of the gym, we talked about everything else: school, boys, families, friends, hobbies. I encouraged her to find things outside of her sport that brought her joy. And it was so cool to see the process of Katelyn Ohashi literally blossom before our eyes. 我的策略之一是：只有在體育館才跟 Katelyn 聊體操，離開了體育館，我們就另闢話題：學校、男孩、家人、朋友、興趣，我鼓勵她找找除了運動能讓她快樂的東西。能看到Katelyn Ohashi在大家眼前漸漸成果累累，這件事非常棒。
And through that process, she rediscovered her self-love and self-worth. And slowly, she was able to bring that joy back to her gymnastics. She went on to earn the NCAA title on floor, and she helped our team win our seventh NCAA championship in 2018.在這個過程中，她也重新瞭解如何愛惜自己，找到自我價值。她慢慢地可以把這份喜悅帶回體操。後來她在NCAA的地板項目奪冠，也幫隊伍在2018年贏得第七座NCAA冠軍。
So let's think about the Katelyn Ohashis in your life. Let's think about those people under your care and your guidance. What are you telling your kids on the car ride home? That car ride home has much more impact than you know.所以讓我們想想生命中的Katelyn Ohashis，想想你照顧和帶領的人們。你在回家路上會跟小孩說什麼？回家這段時間，比大家想象的更有影響力。
Are you focusing on the end result, or are you excited to use that time to help your child develop into a champion? It's very simple: you will know you're focusing on the end result if you ask questions about the end result. "Did you win?" "How many points did you score?" "Did you get an A?"你只在乎結果，還是很想好好利用這段時間讓你的孩子成為人生贏家？這件事很簡單：如果你問的是結果，那你就是隻在乎這件事“你贏了嗎？你得幾分？你得到A嗎？”
If you truly are motivated about helping your child develop into a champion, you will ask questions about the experience and the process, like, "What did you learn today?" "Did you help a teammate?" And, my favorite question, "Did you figure out how to have fun at working really, really hard?"如果你是真的想幫助孩子成為贏家，你問的問題會是關於經驗或過程。像是“你今天學了什麼？有幫隊友嗎？”還有我最喜歡的問題 “你很努力，那有樂在其中嗎？”
And then the key is to be very still and listen to their response. I believe that one of the greatest gifts we can give another human being is to silence our minds from the need to be right or the need to formulate the appropriate response and truly listen when someone else is talking. And in silencing our minds, we actually hear our own fears and inadequacies, which can help us formulate our response with more clarity and empathy.關鍵是要專注聽聽他們的響應。我相信我們送別人最大的禮物就是不要覺得凡事都得要正確，也不要刻意營造恰當的響應方式。而是當別人講話時真心傾聽，摒除那些想法。其實也能聽到自己的恐懼和不足，而能讓我們想想該怎麼更清楚、更有同理心的回應。
Kyla Ross, another one of our gymnasts, is one of the greatest gymnasts in the history of the sport. She's the only athlete to have earned the trifecta: she's a national champion, a world champion and an Olympic champion. Kyla Ross是我們隊上另一位體操員，也是體操史上最傑出的選手之一。她是唯一贏得大三元的選手，全國冠軍、世界冠軍，還有奧運金牌。
She's also not one for small talk, so I was a bit surprised one day when she came to my office, sat on the couch and just started talking -- first about her major, then about graduate school and then about everything else that seemed to pop into her mind. 她是不太閒聊的人，我很驚訝她那時會來我辦公室，坐在沙發上然後開始跟我聊天。先是她的主修，然後是研究所，就像是想到什麼就聊什麼那樣。
My inner voice whispered to me that something was on her mind, and if I was still and gave her enough time, it would come out. And it did. It was the first time that Kyla had shared with anyone that she had been sexually abused by Larry Nassar, the former USA Gymnastics team doctor, who was later convicted of being a serial child molester. Kyla came forward and joined the army of Nassar survivors who shared their stories and used their voices to invoke positive change for our world.我內心告訴我，她一定有什麼煩惱。如果我專注傾聽，給她夠多時間，答案會呼之欲出。最後真是如此，那是她第一次跟任何人說Larry Nassar性虐待她，也就是前美國體操國家隊隊醫，事後遭定罪多次猥褻孩童。Kyla挺身而出加入Nassar受害者的隊伍，分享他們的遭遇，也為此發聲，讓世界變得更加美好。
I felt it was extremely important at that time to provide a safe space for Kyla and our team. And so I chose to talk about this in a few team meetings. Later that year, we won the national championship. 我認為在那當下，得提供一個安全的地方給Kyla還有整個隊伍。所以我在幾次小隊會議時都有談到這個話題，同一年我們贏得國家冠軍。
and after we did, Kyla came up to me and shared with me the fact that she felt one reason that we'd won was because we had addressed the elephant in the room, the tragedy that had not only rocked the world but that had liberated the truths and the memories in herself and in so many of her friends and her peers. Kyla之後告訴我，她覺得我們之所以能贏是因為我們讓沒人敢碰的大麻煩浮上臺面。這場悲劇不但震驚了全世界，也讓她和許多同儕、朋友們從事實和回憶中得以解脫。
As Kyla said, "Ms. Val, I literally felt myself walk taller as the season went on, and when I walked onto that championship floor, I felt invincible." Simply because she had been heard.就像 Kyla說的：“教練，這個賽季我覺得更有自信， 當我領獎的時候，我覺得我什麼都辦得到”僅僅是因為有人願意傾聽。
As parents, as coaches, as leaders, we can no longer lead from a place where winning is our only metric of success, where our ego sits center stage, because it has been proven that that process produces broken human beings.無論是家長、教練或是領導者，我們再也不能僅以獲勝當作成功與否的考慮，也不能只考慮到自己的自尊。因為事實證明這樣的過程會讓他人受傷。
And I emphatically know that it is absolutely possible to produce and train champions in life in every single walk of life without compromising the human spirit.我非常確定，各行各業要創造和訓練人生的贏家，就算不犧牲人性也是做得到的
It starts with defining success for yourself and those under your care and then consistently self-examining whether your actions are in alignment with your goals.必須先為自己還有你照顧的人定義成功，接著不間斷地檢視自己的行為是否和目標相符
We are all coaches in some capacity. We all have a collective responsibility to develop champions in life for our world. That is what real success looks like, and in the world of athletics, that is what we call a win-win.我們都是有某種特長的教練，我們也都承載著共同的責任，那便是為世界培養人生的贏家。這才是真正的成功。在運動界，我們稱這個為雙贏
Thank you.謝謝
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