Judge:“When you were committing the theft，did you not spare a thought for your wife and daughter?”
Defendant:“I did，Your Honor．But there were only men’s clothes in the shop．”
法官:“你偷窃时就没有替妻子和女儿想想吗?”
被告:“想过，法官大人。可是，店里只有男装。”
Mr．White waswatching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room crying，“Daddy，my grandpa slapped me in the face．”
Hearing that，Mr．White became so angry that he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said，“You beatmy son and Idare to beat yours．”
怀特先生正在房间里看电视，他8岁的儿子走进来哭道:“爸爸，爷爷刚才打了我一巴掌。”
怀特先生听了非常生气，就突然重重地打了自己一个耳光，说:“你打我儿子，我也敢打你儿子。”
“There’s a leaky roof in my office?”
“Won’t the landlord repair it?”
“Repair it?He’s so mean he’s charging me an extra$5 a week for the use of shower!”
“我的办公室屋顶漏雨了。”
“房东不会修修吗?”
“修?他很抠门，他每周还要加收我5块钱淋(雨)浴费呢!”
A man was standing at a corner，with a hat in each hand，waiting for handouts．A passerby stopped and dropped a coin in one hat，then asked，“What’s the other hat for?”
“Business has been so tremendous lately，”the man replied，“that I decided to open a branch．”
一个人站在街角，两手各拿一顶帽子，等待施舍。一个路人经过，往一只帽子里放了一枚硬币，然后问:“另一只帽子用来做什么呢?”
“最近生意特别好，”那个人答道，“所以我决定开一家分店。”
A man was applying for a job as a prison guard．The warden said，“Now these are real tough guys here．Do you think you can handle it?”
“No problem，”the applicant replied．“If they don’t behave，Iwill let them go．”
一个人申请当监狱看守。监狱长说:“现在就有些真正难以对付的家伙。你认为如何才能处理好这件事?”
“没问题，”申请者回答说。“如果他们不规矩，我就让他们滚出去。”
A:“Mr．Brown died yesterday．Are you going to attend his funeral?”
B:“No，of course not!”
A:“Why not?I thought you were friends．”
B:“Itwouldn’t be fair if Idid．”
A:“Not fair?What do you mean?”
B:“If Iattend his funeral，would he be able to attend mine?”
甲:“布朗先生昨天去世了。你去参加他的葬礼吗?”
乙:“不去，当然不去!”
甲:“为什么不去?我还以为你们是好朋友呢。”
乙:“我要是去，那会不公平。”
甲:“不公平?你这话什么意思?”
乙:“我要是参加了他的葬礼，他能参加我的葬礼吗?”
——好吧！我承认这些一点也不雷人可笑！可是我就是想让你们笑一笑，忘记疲惫和苦恼。
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