[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]
Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's daily news? 你想他們有昨天的報紙嗎?
Monica: Why? 幹嘛?
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right. 我只是想看我的星運準不準
Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression. 天啊，菲比，別看 你背後有個將會令我們 傷心欲絕的帥哥
Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma. 在哪兒? 朝媽媽這來呀.
Monica: He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool. 他來了，酷一點…
(The guy walks past them)
Guy: Nice hat. 帽子不錯
Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.
(The guy walks on)
Phoebe: We should do something. Whistle. 我們應該有所行動，吹口哨
Monica: We are not going to whistle. 我不吹
Phoebe: Come on, do it. 快吹
Monica: No!
Phoebe: Do it!
Monica: No!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
Monica: (Shouts to the guy) Woo-woo!
(The guy turns round, startled. Monica points to Phoebe. The guy gets hit by a truck)
Phoebe: I can't believe you did that! 我無法相信你會這樣
Opening Credits
[Scene: Hospital, the guy is in a coma and Mon and Pheebs are visiting.]
Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'? 我為何會學狼叫? 我期望會發生什麼?
他回頭說”我喜歡那聲音 我現在就要你”?
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP! 我只希望我們能幫上一點忙 昏迷中的帥哥 起來!起來!起來!
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing? Phebe，你在幹什麼?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this. 或許沒人試過這一招
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer. 希望至少能知道他的名字 瞧他這張臉 即使他在昏迷中仍一副聰明樣 我猜他是個律師
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic. 但是，你看見他手關節上的凹凸麼? 那說明他是個藝術家
Monica: Okay, he's a lawyer, who teaches sculpting on the side. And- he can dance! 他是個兼職教雕塑的律師 而且他會跳舞
Phoebe: Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked. 他是那種靜靜聽你講話的人 不是說”我瞭解” 而猜想著你裸體的樣子
Monica: I wish all guys could be like him. 我希望男生都像他這樣
Phoebe: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
Chandler: Are there no conscious men in the city for you two? 約難道沒有適合你們的清醒男生?
Monica: He doesn't have anyone. 他身旁沒人照顧
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible. 對，我們覺得應該負起責任
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo. 我不敢相信你會吹口哨
連我都不吹口哨
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV) 她出現了
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one. 各位，稍後我們將談論她的新書 ”'Euphoria Unbound”， 永遠引人人勝的諾拉泰勒賓 你得叫你的孩子上床睡覺了
(Everyone has settled down to watch, except Chandler)
Chandler: Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax. 我們別看這個 電影臺有許多好電影 例如“Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.”
Rachel: No way, forget it. 不行，沒門
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom! 拜託，作者是你媽媽!
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No? 柏尼斯之週末夜 死人的腹股溝被打二，三十次
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool! 錢德勒，我得告訴你 我愛你媽的書 飛機上沒她的書陪伴 我會度日如年 她的書簡直是酷斃了
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch. '如果你小時候朋友爭相傳閱 ”Mistress Bitch”的79頁，你就不會認為酷了
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast. 拜託，我愛你媽 她是第一流的
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom. 你當然能這樣說 因為她不是你媽
Ross: Oh, please...
(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)
Paolo: Bona sera.
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Ross: When did Rigatoni get back from Rome? 那個意大利人何時從羅馬回來?
Monica: Last night.
Ross: Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew. 他的飛機沒在空中炸成火球? 只是我做過的一個夢？
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on! 她出現了
Paolo: Ah! Nora Bing! 啊，諾拉賓
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about? 聽說你在倫敦被逮捕?
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested? 你mama被逮捕?
Chandler: Shhh, busy beaming with pride. 安靜，我正感到無比的驕傲
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man... 說來有點難為情 不經意和一個男人那啥後
Chandler: Now why would she say that's embarrassing? 她怎會說難為情?
All: Shhh.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken. 只因我很想吃宮保雞丁
Chandler: THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!! 透露太多了!
Jay Leno: (on TV) Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going? 現在你正為新書做宣傳 情況如何?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love... 還不錯，明天我將前往紐約 其實我不喜歡紐約 我的兒子住那兒，我愛他.
All: Awww!
Chandler: This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone. 母親只會透過電話這麼說
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad... 別會錯意 只是我看不出你已為人母 我絕對沒有惡意
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms. 不，我是個很前衛的母親 我兒子的第一個‘香蕉皮’是我買給他的
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
Chandler: ...And then he burst into flames. 然後他就渾身冒火了
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