36.Immigrate to America
移民美國
Attracted by the boom in America, my nephew teamed up with a Korean to illegally cross the Bearing Strait in the Arctic to America. To avoid the
Customs’ punishment, they hid in a small ferry called the North Pole Seagull, sitting back to back without sleeping, showering and shaving for 3 days, and had no chance to mourn their lost luggage when landing. The hardship of this crossing was apparent.At first, he made a living
by means of raising cattle and then was hired in aircraft industries. He lived in a Catholic district. Taking in a small percentage of Pakistani immigrants, the majority of the residents were from Italy and Denmark, who all kept up their customs and cultures. Different blocks here were distinct ly marked out and indicated from the racial angle. It was unfair and needed reforming. But with nowhere else to go, my nephew lived on and managed to make a life for himself.My nephew’s fortune came when he bravely helped a conductor brake a ream to stop it from slipping out of the rails. The man was elected vice chairman of the Socialist Party later. It occurred to my nephew that he could grasp this opportunity to ask for his help. The man who was thankful helped him apply to the civil authority for the right to live in America by inserting his brave deed into his documents. Unlike
a great many other applicants, his application was approved by the Federal Justice Ministry. Before long, he started his own bakery and lived a better life.因為受到美國繁榮的吸引，我的侄子與一名韓國人合作，從北極的白令海峽偷渡到美國。為了避開海關的懲處，他們躲在一艘叫“北
極海鷗”的渡輪裡，背靠背坐著，整整3天沒有睡覺、洗澡和刮鬍子，上岸的時候也沒有機會心痛他們丟失的行李，這次橫渡的艱辛是顯而易見的。起初，他藉助飼養牲畜謀生，後來受
僱於飛機製造工業。他住的地方是一個天主教區，除了包括一小部分（百分比）的巴基斯坦移民，大部分的居民都來自於意大利和丹麥，他們都保持著自己的風俗和文化，使這裡的街區都從種族的角度清楚地劃出界線 ，明確標示。這很不公平，極需改革，但我的侄子沒別的地方可去，只好繼續居住下去，想法設法開始新的生活。我侄子的好運在他勇敢地幫助一名列車員剎停一列電車以防止其滑出軌道時到來了。那個人後來被選為社會黨的 副主席，我侄子就想到應該抓住機會請求他的幫助。這個人充滿感激，立即把我侄子的勇敢事蹟插入到申請文件中，幫助我侄子向美國國內政權當局申請美國居住權。不像別的許多申請人，我侄子的申請很快被聯邦司法部批准了。不久，他就開了自己的麵包店，過上了稍好一點的生活。
37.Be Careful about Cloning
謹慎對待克隆
After a series of initial experiments and corrections, the scientist’s hard work paid off when the twin clone turkeys were hatched with normal feather and claws. This breakthrough possibly enabled people to bring their adored pets back to life. However, it bother ed him from time to time that their health was in poor condition because they were unable to resist illnesses. This drawback cast him down. Merely 2 weeks later, the clones and their carrier died, which struck frustration into his heart. He retired before he attained his ambition and became a member of an opera chorus to relieve his depression.
Shortly afterwards, the media published a conservative argument objecting to cloning owing to moral problems, and suggested the constitution include compulsory regulations to forbid obtaining commercial profits from cloning.
When interviewed, the scientist stared at the decorations on the ceiling, thinking for a while, and then said, “I’m not in favour of any arbitrary assumption, but undertaking cloning does differ from the straightforward procedure of making loafs out of flour. Until we accumulate enough exact knowledge, any practice is in vain and is bound to fail. Altogether, being more careful is reasonable or we may walk into a side road.”
在最初一系列的實驗和
修正之後，科學家的辛苦工作終於取得了成功，一對雙生的克隆火雞孵化出來，羽毛和爪子都很正常。這一突破或許能讓人們使他們喜愛的寵物死而復生。然而，使他不時地煩惱的是，因為它們無法抵抗疾病，使得它們的 健康狀況極差。這個缺點讓他很沮喪。僅僅過了2個星期，克隆體和母體都死亡了，這使他內心裡充滿了挫折，他也因此在達到自己目標前就退休了，並選擇加入歌劇合唱團來減輕消沉的感覺。之後不久，媒體就因為道德問題而發表了反對克隆的保守論點，並且建議憲法應該包括強制性的法規禁止通過克隆獲得商業利益。
當被採訪時，科學家盯著天花板上的裝飾物思考了一會兒，說：“我不贊成 任何任意的假設，但是從事克隆與用麵粉製作麵包的簡單過程確實不大相同。在我們積累了足夠的準確知識前，任何實際操作都是徒勞無功的，註定會失敗。總而言之，更加謹慎地對待克隆是
合理的，否則我們或許會誤入歧途。”38.Strange Patent Applications
奇怪的專利申請
I set about working in the current Patent Office after resigning from the court personnel. Competent and dynamic, I never feel passive while diving into the identifications of whether applications are valid and practical according to the new version of the criteria.。有一次，有個人用不鏽鋼絲和繩子製作了一架三角形的直升飛機。他致電給我們，高興地聲稱其確實
牢固，而且方便使用，從不發生故障。我請他稍等，但這個天真的人掛了電話就開始從院子裡起飛。我撥打他在電話簿上的號碼試圖回電給他，卻 無法接通。With the expectation of distinguishing their own importance, some people leave the beaten track and file strange products with us now and then, for example, lantern that can be attached on your forehead, cubic walnuts, refrigerator made of
straw and glue, perfume that nobody can bear to smell, and so on. 為了顯示與眾不同，時不時就有人違反常規，向我們提交一些奇怪的產品申請，例如固定在前額的信號燈、立方體的胡桃、用稻草和 膠水製作的冰箱、沒人能受得了的香水等Once, a man made a triangle helicopter out of stainless wires and string. He called us up and merrily claimed it was stable and convenient to use, and never out of order. I asked him to
hang on, but this innocent man just rang off and set out to fly from his courtyard. I dialed his number in the directory trying to ring him back, but never got through. 從法院人事部辭職後，我開始 在現在的專利局工作。我工作起來既稱職又有活力，在投身於根據新版的申請標準鑑定專利申請，以防他們無效或不實用時，我從未感覺到消極沒勁Merciful God blessing, an abrupt freezing rainfall made his powder wet. Luckily, the trouble was without any extension except that he crashed into a greengrocer’s making all the ripe fruits become messy jam. When people seized this crazy man with caution and sobered him by tapping his face, he complained about the bad weather instead of associating his failure with his unscientific design.
仁慈的上帝保佑，一場突然降臨的凍雨打溼了他的火藥，使他造成的麻煩沒有擴大，只是撞入一間水果店，把所有成熟的水果都壓成一塌糊塗的果醬。當人們小心地抓住 這個失去理智的人，輕輕拍打他的臉使他清醒過來時，他還在抱怨糟糕的壞天氣，卻沒有將他的失敗與他不科學的設計聯繫起來。
39. Pronunciation and Status
口音與身份
An ambassador and a referee were consulting a professor on the
caption of a Buddhistic alphabet when a sobbing woman stopped them to sell an antique musical bathtub. Her dirty garment and the handkerchief around her waist were badly in need of sending to a laundry. The ambassador uncomfortably gave her a handful of pence from his wallet and said, “Take this fortune away, troublesome woman.”When her figure faded away, the brilliant professor said, “You are mistaken and your improper remark on her should be condemned. In terms of this
extraordinary woman, you can’t classify her status by her horrible clothes or disgusting nails. Her clean woolen vest and stockings, especially her classic pronunciation, all suggested her upper status.” The ambassador gave a whistle in amazement , and advised making her acquaintance. The professor hesitated for a while, then compromised.The outcome was that she was an authentic superior police officer. When they were shown in her office and saw her once more, she brought them a teapot of tea and some cookies, laughing and saying, “I rubbed some cream and wax on my garment and passed myself off as a shabby woman among thieves and robbers to investigate a plot. Generally speaking, your overlooking me and my adaptation are the best help. But my pronunciation seemed to have betrayed me.”
一位大使和一位裁判正在就一張佛教符號表的文字說明請教教授，這時，一名哭哭啼啼的女人把他們攔住，要賣給他們一個古董音樂澡盆，她骯髒的衣服和腰 間的手帕都急需送到洗衣店清洗。大使很不舒服地從錢包裡掏出一把便士說：“把這大筆錢拿走，麻煩的女人！”
等她的身影漸漸遠去，那位才華橫溢的教授說：“你錯了，你對她不
適當的評論語應該受到譴責。就這個不同尋常的女人來說，你不能根據她糟糕的衣服或令人噁心的指甲給她的身份地位分類。她乾淨的羊毛背心和襪子，尤其是她一流的發音，都暗示著她的上層 身份。”大使驚奇地吹了聲口哨，建議去認識她。教授猶豫了一會兒，最後妥協了。結果呢，她真的是一位高級警官。當他們被帶進她的辦公室再次見到她時，她給他們拿來一
壺茶和一些餅乾，笑著說：“我把奶油和蠟塗在大衣上假扮成寒酸骯髒的女人混進在小偷和搶劫犯中間，是為了調查一宗陰謀。通常說來，你們對我的忽視和我對此的 適應就是最好的幫助。但是我的發音似乎暴露了我啊。”40. A Sly Murder
一宗狡猾的謀殺案
When giving a lecture about the significance of punctuation, the academic professor was interrupted and arrested by the police for murdering his wife, a receptionist of a kindergarten. The police found some photos he deleted from their e-album showing that they used to have a gay life. But, fed up with her wrinkled face, he murdered her instead of divorcing her to avoid fortune division. He cut up a kind of seashell with a sharpened knife, and hammered it into powder on a skateboard, and made at most one gram, which was enough to accelerate one’s pulse until he or she dies. This kind of poison can date back to 10,000 BC when people rubbed it on spears to kill beasts. The professor mixed the poison with onion, watermelon and yogurt for his wife. Howling and scratching her chest, she felt dizzy and died soon. 那位學院的教授在發表關於
標點符號重要意義的演講時被警察打斷了，他因謀殺自己的妻子——一位幼兒園的接待員——而被逮捕。警察找到了一些被他從電子相冊裡刪除的照片，照片表明，他們曾經有過快樂的生活，但是，因為厭煩了妻子起皺的臉，他殺死她而不是和她離婚以避免離婚時的財產 分割。他用一把磨利的小刀切碎一種貝殼，然後在滑板上錘打成粉末，最多1克就足以加速人的脈搏直到其死亡。這種毒藥可以追溯到公元前10，000年，當時它就被塗抹在長予 上殺死野獸。教授把這種毒藥混合在洋蔥、西瓜和酸奶裡給他的妻子，後者叫喊、抓撓胸口、頭暈目眩，很快就死了。在初步檢查之後，警察設想她是死於心臟病。但是系統的植物學分析 卻表明，吐在凌亂的席子和被子上的西瓜有毒。敏銳而又技術嫻熟的警察不顧疲勞和飢餓，用放射性的設備確定了毒素的種類。儘管可供選擇的設備原始 ，且數量不足，他們還是設法取得了完美的準確度。
After tentative examination, the police assumed she died of heart disease. But systematic botanical analyses showed that the watermelon spit on the messy mat and the quilt was poisonous. Regardless of exhaustion and starvation, the acute and skilful policemen used radioactive equipment to make sure the category of the poison. Primitive and not ample as their alternative equipment was, they got perfect accuracy somehow.
People applauded the police and the woman’s family can look ahead with relief now.
人們都為警察歡呼鼓掌，而那位女人的家人現在也可以帶著欣慰為將來打算了。
閱讀更多 英語快樂嗑English 的文章
