You're facing the wrong way
你看錯方向了
In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film."
劇院裡，一位女士回頭對後面正在說笑的一群女學生說：“如果你們不介意的話，我想看這場電影。”
"In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way."
“要是那樣的話，”其中一個女孩子說，“那您肯定是看錯方向了。”
You may put my beard on again
把鬍子再替我裝上
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理髮店修面，理髮師向他買了一把掃帚，當理髮師給他修完面後,問了一下掃帚的價錢。
"Two pence," said the man.
賣掃帚的人說：“兩便士。”
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
"不，不。"理髮師說，“我只出一便士，如果你認為不夠的話,可以把掃帚拿回去。”
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
賣掃帚的人取回了掃帚,隨後問修面要付多少錢。
"A penny." said the barber.
理髮師說："一便士。"
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
賣掃帚的人說："我只能給你半個便士,如果你認為不夠的話,你可以把鬍子再替我裝上。"
More Intelligent in Dreams
夢中更聰明
When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?"
一名學生在班上沒有做出老師的教學題，他感到很遺憾，對老師解釋說：“我記得昨天夜裡做夢對這道題解對了，但現在一時想不起來了。這說明什麼？”
"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.
“這說明你做夢的時候比你醒著的時候更聰明。”老師解釋說。
想到那些年學過的英語，此情此表達似曾有過……感謝那些年英語老師的忍耐……
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