You're facing the wrong way
你看错方向了
In a cinema, a lady turned round and said to the giggling schoolgirls behind her: "Do you mind, I'm trying to watch the film."
剧院里，一位女士回头对后面正在说笑的一群女学生说：“如果你们不介意的话，我想看这场电影。”
"In that case," said one of them, "you're facing the wrong way."
“要是那样的话，”其中一个女孩子说，“那您肯定是看错方向了。”
You may put my beard on again
把胡子再替我装上
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面，理发师向他买了一把扫帚，当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱。
"Two pence," said the man.
卖扫帚的人说：“两便士。”
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
"不，不。"理发师说，“我只出一便士，如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去。”
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱。
"A penny." said the barber.
理发师说："一便士。"
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人说："我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上。"
More Intelligent in Dreams
梦中更聪明
When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?"
一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说：“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么？”
"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.
“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明。”老师解释说。
想到那些年学过的英语，此情此表达似曾有过……感谢那些年英语老师的忍耐……
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