Questions to Ask Before You Marry
婚前要問清楚的問題
https://www.unsv.com/voanews/specialenglish/scripts/2019/02/12/1011/
2019-02-12
- What kind of debt do you have? 彼此的債務問題（學生貸款、房貸、車貸、信用卡卡債）
- What are your spending habits? 你的消費習慣（愛存錢還是愛花錢）
- How do you feel about a clean house? 一個乾淨整潔的家
- How do you feel about clutter? 你們是如何看待凌亂的房間的呢？
- How much time do you spend on social media or other technology? 每天花在微信、微博、抖音、快手上的時間
- Do you want children? 你想要孩子麼？
- Have you ever been arrested? If you have … for what?
曾經被逮捕過麼？若有，什麼原因？
- How much time alone do you need to be happy? 獨處時間
1) Marriage. Is it a romantic situation with some practical parts? Or it is a practical situation with some romantic parts?
婚姻！是浪漫中帶著現實？還是現實中有一絲絲浪漫？
2）Couples and cultures differ. But experts on marriage warn that, in general, romantic love – you know, that excited feeling you have at the beginning of a relationship –
lasts only for about a year. As the relationship continues, partners need to make sure they can still live together happily. In other words, they need to be compatible.一種米養百種人，孕育千百種文化。但是婚姻專家說：整體而言，愛情只能大約持續一年。隨著這段關係的繼續，伴侶們需要確定彼此是否依然能幸福地生活在一起。換句話說，他們需要彼此兼容。
3）But how do you know if you are compatible with someone? Like in a job interview, you need to ask questions.
但如何才能知道你們彼此能兼容呢？像找工作需要面試一樣，你們需要問問題。
4）Several websites suggest questions you should ask your future bride or groom. We have collected here some of the ones that appear most often.部分網站上有準新娘或準新郎應該問的問題。我們為大家收集了一些出現頻率最高的問題。
What kind of debt do you have?
彼此的債務問題（學生貸款、房貸、車貸、信用卡卡債）
5）A 2018 poll by the Pew Research Center found that money is one of the top five things couples fight about. Before tying the knot – another way of saying "getting married" – you should talk to your partner about any money each of you owes – such as student loans, house or car payments.
Pew研究中心2018年的普查發現：錢是夫婦爭吵的五大問題之一。在締結婚約之前，你應該問你的伴侶關於所有欠下的債務：如，學生貸款、房貸、車貸等。
6）One reason to talk about debt is because married couples may want to make a costly purchase together, such as a house. Debt could limit your ability to do so.
問清債務的其中一個原因是因為結婚的夫婦可能想要一起買個大件，比如說房子。之前未還清的債務會限制你的購買力。
7）And do not forget about credit card debt. This probably tells more about a person's relationship with money than any other kind of debt. That leads us to our next question.別忘了問問信用卡卡債。這可能比其他類型的債務，更能透露出一個人對待錢的態度。這也帶出了我們的下一個問題。
What are your spending habits?
你的消費習慣（愛存錢還是愛花錢）
8）Some people are good at saving money. They take comfort in having extra in the bank. Others are good at spending money. Shopping, for them, can bring comfort.
有的人擅長存錢，銀行裡有錢，自己心裡舒服。有的人擅長花錢，花錢能讓自己心裡舒服。
9）If you and your partner spend money differently it could lead to conflict. Now is a good time to talk about savings, budgets and how you will handle your finances together.
如果你和你的配偶花錢習慣不同，就可能會誘發爭吵。婚前就是聊一聊存款、預算、如何一起管錢的最佳時機。
How do you feel about a clean house? 一個乾淨整潔的家
10）Cleaning up around the house may not seem like a big deal. However, the same poll noted earlier found that 62 percent of all Americans said sharing household duties is important to a successful marriage. How will you and your partner divide them?
打掃屋子看似沒什麼大不了的。然而，普查發現：62%的美國人說家務活對成功的婚姻至關重要。你和你的伴侶將會如何分工呢？
11）When talking about cleaning the house, there is another related question. 當談及家務活時，還有一個相關的問題。
How do you feel about clutter? 你們是如何看待凌亂的房間的呢？
12）For some people, living in a house with things everywhere can be very stressful. Other people have a hard time throwing anything away. It is important to know how you and your partner will deal with the everyday stuff of life.
有的人忍受不了家裡哪兒都擺滿了東西。而有的人什麼東西都不捨得扔。瞭解彼此對處理日常生活物品的態度是很重要的。
How much time do you spend on social media or other technology?
每天花在微信、微博、抖音、快手上的時間
13）Some people can spend hours on Facebook or playing video games. Other people hate using their time in such a way. Maybe they like to go hiking or play an instrument for hours instead.
有的人每天有好幾個小時都在玩Facebook或打遊戲。有的人極度痛恨如此打發時間，可能他們更喜歡出去走走或彈彈樂器。
14）So, at the heart of this question is this simpler but all-important one: "How do you like to spend your time?" Couples who share the same interests -- whatever they may be -- are more likely to succeed at being married.
所以，問題的核心就在於這個簡單又非常重要的問題上：“你喜歡如何打發時間？” 有共同興趣的夫婦，無論是什麼喜好，他們的婚姻也更有可能成功。
Do you want children?
你想要孩子麼？15）Okay, whether or not to have children is a big question.
婚後是否要孩子是個大問題。
16）In marriage, many areas are negotiable. Couples can find a compromise. However, the question of whether or not to have children is not one of these areas. For many people the issue of children can be a deal-breaker.
婚姻中好多事情都是可以商量的，夫妻都能退一步。然而唯有生孩子不在其列。對好多人而言，孩子問題就是婚姻破裂的源頭。
17）So, find out before you walk down the aisle, find out if you both have the same expectations about babies – yes, no, how many and when?
所以，婚前就弄清楚你們倆是否在孩子的問題方面意見是一致的——-要，不要，生幾個，什麼時候生？
Have you ever been arrested? If you have … for what?
曾經被逮捕過麼？若有，什麼原因？
18）This may sound obvious. But you may be surprised by what you learn. Before you marry someone, it is a good idea to find out if your partner has a criminal record.
這不是白問麼，當然沒有啦。但是你可能會吃驚於你的發現。婚前問清楚你的伴侶有沒有犯罪記錄。
19）But keep in mind that not having an arrest record may simply mean that they have never been caught. So, while you are on the topic, you could also ask about a history of gambling, overusing alcohol or drugs or, perhaps, violence.
但是記住，沒有犯罪記錄不意味著他們從未被逮過。所以，問這個問題時，你也能問問對方曾經有沒有賭博、酗酒、嗑藥、打人。
How much time alone do you need to be happy? 獨處時間
20）You can't spend every minute together. Or can you? Best to ask. 你倆不可能時時刻刻都在一起。你能麼？最好問清楚。
21）Some people are most happy when they are around others. In fact, some people hate to be alone. But other people may need large amounts of time by themselves.It is important to share where you fall on this line.
有的人就喜歡親朋環繞，不喜歡獨處。但是也有人就需要大把的獨處時間。兩人聊一聊彼此的界限也很重要。
22）Some people may take it personally if their partner does not want to be with them all the time. And the people who need to be alone may feel trapped by being with someone day in and day out, even if it is someone they love.
有的人如果自己的伴侶不想跟自己時時刻刻在一起，就會感情用事。（彩彩&璐璐聯合出品）。而需要獨處的人，如果時時刻刻都有人在身邊，哪怕是自己愛的人，也會感覺到束縛。
23)These are just some of the questions you may want to ask before getting married. These topics may be uncomfortable. But a couple hours of feeling uncomfortable is better than a lifetime of conflict.
這些只是婚前你可能會想要問的部分問題。這些話題可能讓人心裡不太舒服。但是兩個小時的不舒服遠勝過一輩子的爭吵不休。
24）Also, experts warn to be careful of someone who does not want to answer questions such as these. That is perhaps the greatest warning sign of all.
專家也提醒說：小心那些不想要回答這些問題的人。不想回答可能就是最大的預警，你就要多考慮考慮了。
取其精華，去其糟粕，盡信書不如無書，相信自己的心。
本材料源自www.unsv.com，經過本人節選、後期翻譯而成，若有翻譯的不妥當的地方，歡迎指正。
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