我們的修改案例頻繁被一些中介盜用。為保護團隊的知識產權，從本期開始，本系列只點評原文，修改後實例將只對經過留學身份審核的學弟學妹開放。
During my four-year undergraduate study, I have always put study as my priority.
◆ 第一句用詞及句型都屬於baby language；
◆ 為無效語句,這種junk statement在文書修改中屬於必刪內容。
Although I find it a little challenged to gain a full understanding of the courses at first since it was a completely new domain for me to learn. But I still hold the belief that as long as we want it enough, we can definitely work it out.
◆ 存在明顯的語法錯誤及baby language；
◆ 屬於典型的“只要我XX，就能XX”的flag，注意reviewer非常不喜歡這種立flag的語句，會認為你在浪費他們的閱讀時間。如果在陳述的開始幾句或幾段都是這種內容，會造成他們極差的閱讀體驗。
I still remember vividly that the first time I came across the C language programming, I couldn’t figure out how the whole program was written out. Thus, I came to search every possible area which were related to this. I bought reference books like the fundamental programming skills and the grammarrules of C. I've devoted plenty of time to do the preview and review of the core courses.
◆ 作者希望證明自己解決問題的能力，但所舉例子只展現自己的reading ability，此能力是屬於誰都可以具有的，無法體現自己的特殊性；
◆ 沒有說明自己如何解決具體的某一個問題，切忌籠統的“我學習了，我提高了，我很開心”這類的表述。
Within several class, I managed to develop a simple calculating system all by myself when the others were still trying to master the basic law of the C program.
◆ 沒有說明如何開發，開發的成果如何利於自己或者團隊，造成什麼影響；
◆ 切忌與他人進行比較，reviewer非常反感的一點。
Besides, I’m kind of a perfectionist.
◆ 這種自立flag的語句應直接刪除。
It was in the Internet technology and application class, our teacher made an assignment of making a piece of film about life experiences.
◆ 非常奇怪且不可取的句型，reviewer更喜歡straight forward的表達。
A bunch of my classmates choose to make a perfunctory effort because of the limited time. While I decided since we have to complete it, why not do our best? So I spend a whole day sitting in front of my laptop to make a delicate animation.
◆ 又是與他人比較凸顯自己的能力；
◆ 反問式語句要不得；
◆ 最後一句仍然無法顯示自己能力，這種hard-working是誰都可以具有的；
◆ 本文中沒有一個實例可以證明自身獨特能力。
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