Judge:“When you were committing the theft，did you not spare a thought for your wife and daughter?”
Defendant:“I did，Your Honor．But there were only men’s clothes in the shop．”
法官:“你偷竊時就沒有替妻子和女兒想想嗎?”
被告:“想過，法官大人。可是，店裡只有男裝。”
Mr．White waswatching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room crying，“Daddy，my grandpa slapped me in the face．”
Hearing that，Mr．White became so angry that he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said，“You beatmy son and Idare to beat yours．”
懷特先生正在房間裡看電視，他8歲的兒子走進來哭道:“爸爸，爺爺剛才打了我一巴掌。”
懷特先生聽了非常生氣，就突然重重地打了自己一個耳光，說:“你打我兒子，我也敢打你兒子。”
“There’s a leaky roof in my office?”
“Won’t the landlord repair it?”
“Repair it?He’s so mean he’s charging me an extra$5 a week for the use of shower!”
“我的辦公室屋頂漏雨了。”
“房東不會修修嗎?”
“修?他很摳門，他每週還要加收我5塊錢淋(雨)浴費呢!”
A man was standing at a corner，with a hat in each hand，waiting for handouts．A passerby stopped and dropped a coin in one hat，then asked，“What’s the other hat for?”
“Business has been so tremendous lately，”the man replied，“that I decided to open a branch．”
一個人站在街角，兩手各拿一頂帽子，等待施捨。一個路人經過，往一隻帽子裡放了一枚硬幣，然後問:“另一隻帽子用來做什麼呢?”
“最近生意特別好，”那個人答道，“所以我決定開一家分店。”
A man was applying for a job as a prison guard．The warden said，“Now these are real tough guys here．Do you think you can handle it?”
“No problem，”the applicant replied．“If they don’t behave，Iwill let them go．”
一個人申請當監獄看守。監獄長說:“現在就有些真正難以對付的傢伙。你認為如何才能處理好這件事?”
“沒問題，”申請者回答說。“如果他們不規矩，我就讓他們滾出去。”
A:“Mr．Brown died yesterday．Are you going to attend his funeral?”
B:“No，of course not!”
A:“Why not?I thought you were friends．”
B:“Itwouldn’t be fair if Idid．”
A:“Not fair?What do you mean?”
B:“If Iattend his funeral，would he be able to attend mine?”
甲:“布朗先生昨天去世了。你去參加他的葬禮嗎?”
乙:“不去，當然不去!”
甲:“為什麼不去?我還以為你們是好朋友呢。”
乙:“我要是去，那會不公平。”
甲:“不公平?你這話什麼意思?”
乙:“我要是參加了他的葬禮，他能參加我的葬禮嗎?”
——好吧！我承認這些一點也不雷人可笑！可是我就是想讓你們笑一笑，忘記疲憊和苦惱。
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