當你發現某樣東西不適合你怎麼辦？
以下由<strong>中，英
語的親身經歷，會告訴你，我的<strong>處理方法，以及我<strong>自我開導的想法。2019年11月開始關注我的讀者們，都知道我成年後，馬上開始學習駕駛，而我為什麼現在，暫時不學了呢？雖然我的車技沒有問題，但是我覺得我對周圍的交通，還不夠謹慎，我還沒成熟到可以安全的駕駛，以下文章就是環繞著我駕駛課程的心路歷程，以及我未來藝術職業道路的變更。
Know what isn’t right for you
Sometimes it seems easy to get on to things we wanted to do, but oppositely we find it hard to let go of that thing when we realize we are not so great at it or just not ready for it.
I have to face tough decisions at A Level; the subject that I love the most doesn’t show my greatest strengths and the driving lessons at the moment are too nerve-racking for me. I never thought I would not choose Art as a career, from a young age I started enjoying and knowing Art is something that I will be doing forever, I even have the clearest idea of what I wanted to be --- a Fashion Designer since year five. But right now at the middle of my first year in A Level, I surprisingly found out my stronger ability and potential in my two other subjects --- Business and Spanish, in these two subjects, I regularly receive good comments from my teacher and work along their expectations, whereas in Art I don’t tend to be complimented much and neither getting really impressive grades, one day I doubtedly question my passion and asked myself seriously about if I should carry on doing Art in university and in future career, and that probably became the turning point of my life, I definitely came through inner struggle to let go of it, but somehow I am able to recharge myself and decide to keep loving Art but converting it as my hobby. It was certainly not an easy decision to make, due to strong emotion link to it, and the feeling of freedom every time doing it.
The change has happened for driving lessons too, I turned 18 this year and thought it will be good just to learn it now as in future I may not have so many time to learn, so with the support of my family, I decided to learn how to drive. After the first lesson driving in a road with almost no cars learning how to use the clutch, brake and accelerator and how to turn, on the second lesson I am already driving back to school by myself. Since that, more and more skills are learnt in lessons, it all seemed to go to fast for me, such as driving on some of the main roads on speed of 40mph seems and going through a lot of junctions with me not knowing any code or knowledge of traffic（as I decided to do practice first then the theory，so I really know nothing about the rules）. Because of my fearless and incautious driving, the instructor becomes concerned and then I get told off often. The more he tells me off the more I worry, the worse I perform. The blame makes me nervous since then, I start to worry and feel stressful when it comes closer to Saturday (this is when my driving takes place), on the Friday before that I never sleep tight. One weekend he shouts again and asked me twice about if I am really wanted to learn, as I don’t seem ready. And at the end of the lesson, I cried out telling him my stress and all the tension I have. I can feel he’s slightly empathetic and become a bit more understanding, but I knew that I should stop the lesson, as the experience is making my weekends unhappy. So after that, I texted him to say I am stopping the lessons due to A level’s heavy workload and I don’t feel ready to handle the driving.
From these two lessons of life, I learnt how important it is to listen to what our heart and feelings tell us, and knowing what isn’t right for us. It’s okay, to change our decision; it’s okay, to stop when it is not suitable, sometimes putting something down doesn’t mean giving up, it means we will come back when we are ready one day in future and try to deal with it again…
My love and enjoyment of art will never change. Although it may not be my ultimate career, but it must be part of my pursuit of life and the quality of my life. Art has taught me a lot. It is not only an ability to appreciate and create beauty, but also an ability to accept and change.
最近人物寫生作品 Recent Life Drawing
明白什麼不適合你
有時候，繼續做我們想做的事情似乎很容易，但是相反，當我們意識到自己不是很擅長或只是沒有做好準備時，就很難放手。
我必須面對A Level (英國高中)的艱難決定；我最喜歡的科目並沒有顯示出我的最大長處，現在的駕駛課程對我來說也太令人費解了。我從沒想過我不會選擇藝術作為職業，我從小就開始享受並知道藝術將會是我永遠會做的事情，我從五年級開始甚至對自己想成為的人有最清晰的認識---時裝設計師。但是現在，在我進入A Level的第一年中，我驚訝地發現自己在其他兩個科目中的能力和潛力更強-商務和西班牙語，在這兩個科目中，我經常收到老師的好，學習表現也都在他們的期望之中，而在藝術領域，我並沒有得到太多的誇獎，也沒有獲得非常令人印象深刻的成績，某一天，我懷疑地質疑自己的熱情，並認真地問自己，我是否應該在大學和未來的職業生涯中繼續從事藝術工作，於是那大概成為了我人生的轉折點，我絕對是在經過自內心的掙扎後，對它放手了，但是以某種方式，我又能夠使自己打起精神，並決定繼續熱愛藝術，並將其轉變為我的愛好。由於我與它強烈的情感聯繫以及每次製作的自由感，這絕對不是一個容易做出的決定。
駕駛課程也發生了同樣的改變，我今年成為18歲後，認為現在就學習是件好事，因為將來我可能沒有太多時間，因此在家人的支持下，我決定學習如何駕駛。在幾乎沒有汽車的道路，學習如何使用離合器，制動器和加速器以及如何轉彎的第一課之後，在第二課上，我已經獨自開車回學校了。自那以後，在課程中學習的技能越來越多了，這一切似乎對我來說都來的太快了，例如，以40英里/小時的速度在某些主要道路上行駛，和在我不知道任何交通守則的路口行駛（由於我決定先學車技然後學理論，所以我對交通規則一無所知）由於我無所畏懼和不謹慎的駕駛，導師變得很憂慮，然後我經常被責備。他越責備我，我越擔心，我的表現就越差。從那時起，這種責備使我感到緊張，在接近週六時（這是我開車的時間），我就開始擔心並感到壓力，而在那之前的週五，我從未睡得安穩。一個週末，他再次大喊，問我兩次我是否真的想學習，因為我似乎還沒準備好。在課程結束時，我哭了出來，告訴他我的壓力和所有的緊張感。我可以感覺到他有點同理心，並且變得有點理解，但是我知道我應該停止上課了，因為這種經歷使我的週末並不愉快。因此，在那之後，我發短信給他說，我要停止上課，原因是由於A Level的大量工作，還有我覺得自己還沒準備好對駕駛的操作。
從這兩堂人生到課程中，我瞭解到了傾聽我們內心和感受告訴我們的重要性，並且瞭解到什麼是不適合我們的。沒關係的，我們可以改變我們的決定；沒關係的，我們可以在不合適的時候停下來，有時放下一些東西並不意味著放棄，這表示著我們將來某一天準備就緒時，會回來並嘗試再次處理它。
我對藝術的熱愛以及享受，永遠不會變，它雖然不一定成為我的最終職業，但它一定是我人生的追求以及我的生活的品質一部分。藝術教會了我很多，不只是一種美的鑑賞能力、創作能力，也是一種接受能力、改變能力。
最近人物寫生的作品 Recent Life Drawing
Thanks for reading,
閱讀更多 商華麗莎 的文章
