01
中國哪裡的姑娘最漂亮？
Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?
“
WeChat Moments.
”
02
請給出一句很有內涵的詩句。
Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.
“
一懶眾衫小。
Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.
”
03
如何理解“窮不是一種狀態”？
What's the meaning of 'poverty is not a certain situation'?
“
窮是一種常態。
It's the common situation.
”
04
參觀一個世界奇觀時
你最想了解哪些信息？
What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?
“
這附近有什麼好吃的嗎？
What can I find to eat around there?
”
05
如果被車撞飛10米遠，
爬起來之後說什麼最帥？
What is the coolest thing to say after you have got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?
“
下一輛！
Next!
”
06
媽，我是你的什麼？
Mother, what am I to you?
“
媽的智障。
My karma.
”
07
為什麼前女友還會一直關注我呢？
What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?
“
知道你過得不好我也就放心了。
Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.
”
08
為什麼打群架的時候
普遍會脫掉上衣？
Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?
“
假如脫掉褲子的話，
總覺得有哪裡不對，氣氛怪怪的。
Because it would be weird to take off your pants.
”
09
哪件事，
讓你對自己的無知感到震驚？
What is the experience in which you got shocked by your own ignorance?
“
小時候寫作文要寫筆名，
我寫了“中華繪圖鉛筆”。
Back when I was little,
we were required to write down our pen names.
And I wrote down the name of my pen's brand.
”
10
怎麼反駁“你行你上啊”的邏輯？
How should I respond to 'You can you up'?
“
我評論個雞蛋不好吃，還得自己下個蛋啊？
So I need to lay an egg to comment on an egg's flavor?
”
11
如何一個月減肥40斤？
By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?
“
截肢。
Amputation.
”
12
怎樣含蓄地表達
「我已經被收買了」
How can I subtly suggest that I've been compromised?
“
我說句公道話……
Let me say this impartially...
”
13
如何追求學醫的女生？
How to chase a girl majoring in medicine?
“
你好，我有病。
Hi, I'm sick.
”
14
為什麼你長痘痘？
Why do you have pimples?
“
因為我可愛得冒泡。
Because I'm just bubble-bubbly cute.
”
15
你們夫妻每月掙多少錢？
How much do you two earn per month?
“
我月收入一萬，
加上我老婆可以到兩千。
My monthly income is 10,000.
And it can get to 2,000 with my wife's contribution.
”
16
打雷的時候關窗戶有用嗎？
Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?
“
沒用的，我試過了，
關了窗雷一樣在打。
No, it won't. I've tried.
It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.
”
17
你見過哪些概率極小極小的事件？
What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?
“
20道完形填空，全錯。
Done a cloze test of 20 questions
with 0 answer right.
”
18
我要如何才能顯得很高冷？
How can I look high-end and cool?
“
搬去喜馬拉雅。
Move to the Himalayas.
”
19
兩千元人民幣，想出國窮遊
可以去哪些國家？
To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?
“
秦魯齊蜀韓鄭魏楚趙燕吳等等...
For example,
all the principalities in ancient China.
”
20
為什麼在洗完澡之後
有些人會覺得自己變漂亮了？
Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?
“
腦子進水了。
The brain has water damage.
”
21
呆萌和腦殘的界限是？
What is the boundry between 'clumsy' and 'stupid'?
“
“和”。
"and".
”
22
你臨死前的遺言是什麼？
What would you say before you die?
“
能不能換個醫生試試？
我覺得我還能活……
Can we try another doctor?
I think I can still be worked on...
”
23
為什麼女生有體香，而男生沒有？
Why do women give out sweet scent but men don't?
“
化妝品醃入味了。
The makeup is fermenting.
”
24
男生說什麼話
女生會覺得很大氣？
What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?
“
買！
I'll pay.
”
25
因為胖不敢去操場跑步怎麼辦？
I dare not go to the playground for running. What should I do?
“
你怎麼敢去食堂？
How dare you go to the canteen?
”
26
你看《我是歌手》嗎？
Do you know I'm a Singer?
“
不是。
No, you're not.
”
27
熱戀是一種怎樣的體驗？
How does it feel to love somebody insanely?
“
兩個長得像豬一樣的人
還怕對方被搶走了。
Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.
”
28
有什麼讚揚讓你比較尷尬？
Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?
“
人不可貌相啊！
We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?
”
29
你怎麼一個人逛街啊？
Why are you shopping all by yourself?
“
半個人逛街我怕嚇著你。
I fear it would scare you to death if half of me were shopping.
”
30
單身兩年以上是什麼體驗？
How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?
“
單身22年
不知道你說的是哪兩年？
I've been single for 22 years.
Which 2 years are you suggesting?
”
31
你收到的最可怕的禮物是什麼？
What is the most terrifying present you've ever received?
“
一本書，叫《百年孤獨》。
A book named One Hundred Years of Solitude.
”
32
要是在古代，
姐的顏值能撐起整個青樓。
Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.
“
你是說你長得像柱子嗎？
You mean you look like a pillar?
”
33
很高興為你服務。
I'm glad to be at your service.
“
你高興得太早了。
You'll find out you got glad too fast.
”
34
超人為什麼要穿緊身衣？
Why does the superman wear tights?
“
救人要緊。
(To save people with tights.)
It is important to save people.
”
35
媽，我能看電視嗎？
Mom, can I watch the television?
“
當然可以啊，只要不打開就行。
Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.
”
36
你得揣摩出題人的意圖。
You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.
“
他想我死。
They want me to die.
”
37
你知道嗎？你最終會變成你討厭的人。
You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.
“
借你吉言，我討厭有錢人。
Thanks, I loathe the rich.
”
38
國慶去北京旅遊有什麼好建議嗎？
Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?
“
別去！
Don't go.
”
39
等我瘦了就回來找你。
I'll come back for you when I get slim.
“
如果你不想見我，其實可以直說。
You can level with me if you don't want to see me.
”
40
有史以來最偉大的虛構人物是誰？
Who is the greatest fictional character in history?
“
別人家的小朋友。
Someone else's child.
”
41
你看看別人家的男朋友
都是吃女朋友吃剩下的飯！！！
Look at other girls' boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends' leftover.
“
那你倒是給我剩點啊！
Sounds as if you ever left any over.
”
42
為什麼秀恩愛通常選擇在中午？
Why do people usually publicly display affection at noon?
“
因為早晚會有報應。
Because sooner or later karma will come to them.
”
43
請用一個詞來形容你的男朋友。
Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.
“
哪？
Where?
”
44
被人追了怎麼拒絕？
How do I successfully reject someone who is chasing me?
“
就地卸妝。
Remove your makeup, right now, right there.
”
45
為了讓你好好學習，父母都給過你什麼？
What did your parents give you to make you study harder?
“
這張臉。
This face.
”
46
為什麼有的男生追女生追到一半不追了？
Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?
“
你倒是給個進度條啊。
Why don't you display a progress bar?
”
47
問世上不會游泳的動物是？
What animals on earth can not swim?
“
媳婦和媽。
Your wife and your mother.
”
48
你是怎麼看節假日堵車的？
What do you think of traffic jams in holidays and festivals?
“
我就在我家電視上看的。
I watch it on TV at home.
”
49
大雁為什麼要飛去南方過冬？
Why do wild geese fly south for the winter?
“
因為走過去太累了。
It's too tired for them to walk there.
”
50
老師，你教的都是沒用的東西！
Sir, what you teach are useless!
“
我不許你這樣說自己！
I don't allow you to comment yourself like this!
”
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