Give Children Their Room 给孩子一点空间
In this age of Internet chat, videogames and reality television, there is no shortage of mindless activities to keep a child occupied. Yet, despite the competition, my 8-year-old daughter Rebecca wants to spend her leisure time writing short stories. She wants to enter one of her stories into a writing contest, a competition she won last year.
在这个充斥着网络聊天、电子游戏和真人秀的时代中，不乏各种无需动脑的活动充斥着孩子们的头脑。尽管它们都在争抢孩子们的时间，我八岁的女儿瑞贝卡却喜欢把她的业余时间用来写短篇故事。她想拿她的故事参加一个写作比赛，去年她曾在那个比赛中获胜。
As a writer I know about winning contests, and about losing them. I know what it is like to work hard on a story only to receive a rejection slip from the publisher. I also know the pressures of trying to live up to a reputation created by previous victories. What if she doesn’t win the contest again? That’s the strange thing about being a parent. So many of our own past scars and dashed hopes can surface.
作为一个作家我很了解赢得比赛与输掉比赛的感受。我知道自己很努力地写出一篇文章却遭到出版商退稿时的那种感觉。我也知道竭尽全力去维持过去的辉煌为你带来的声誉方面的压力。如果她不能再次赢得比赛怎么办？那就是作为父母的很奇怪的想法。我们自己过去的伤疤和破碎的希望又再次浮现。
A revelation came last week when I asked her, “Don’t you want to win again?” “No,” she replied, “I just want to tell the story of an angel going to first grade.”
直到上个星期，我得到了启示。我问她你想再赢一次吗？” “不，”女儿回答，“我只想告诉大家一个天使上一年级的故事。”
I had just spent weeks correcting her stories as she spontaneously told them. Telling myself that I was merely an experienced writer guiding the young writer across the hall, I offered suggestions for characters, conflicts and endings for her tales. The story about a fearful angel starting first grade was quickly “guided” by me into the tale of a little girl with a wild imagination taking her first music lesson. I had turned her contest into my contest without even realizing it.
当女儿自发地讲起她的故事时，我花了几个星期的时间来给她修改。一次一次地告诫自己只是一个有些经验的作家在指导一个小作家成长而已，关于她的故事的角色、冲突和结尾我都提供了一下建议。在我的指导下，这个原来要上一年级的惴惴不安的小天使的故事，变成了一个有着伟大梦想的小女孩在上她的第一堂音乐课的故事。在不知不觉中我竟把她的比赛变成了我的比赛。
Staying back and giving kids space to grow is not as easy as it looks. Because I know very little about farm animals who use tools or angels who go to first grade, I had to accept the fact that I was co-opting (借用)my daughter’s experience.
放手给孩子空间成长不像看起来那么容易。因为我对能用工具的农场动物，或者一年级的小天使一无所知，我不得不承认我借用了女儿的经历。
While stepping back was difficult for me, it was certainly a good first step that I will quickly follow with more steps, putting myself far enough away to give her room but close enough to help if asked. All the while I will be reminding myself that children need room to experiment, grow and find their own voices.
虽然站在孩子的后面对我来说有些艰难，但是我将在迈出这关键的第一步之后继续努力，让自己站得足够远，以让她有足够的发展空间，同时又能在她需要的时候离她足够近。我还会一直提醒自己:孩子需要经历、成长和找到自己心声的空间。
閱讀更多 教英語的王老師90 的文章
