素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

在深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书 中,我们主要跟大家解释了主文书到底是什么?在 中,我们也跟大家聊了主文书到底该怎么选题?今天在【下篇】中,我们主要讲一讲,写作这件事,主要有以下几个步骤:

1. 列出一个故事梗概

2. 想出每个故事之间的联系和转折

3. 修改文法,润色后完成终稿

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

01 列出一个故事梗概

在你想完你想写的故事之后,你需要列一个故事梗概。这个故事梗概可帮助你挑选出最合适的故事。

一般一篇文书中大概3个故事。1个主故事,占篇幅35 - 40%左右。其余2个故事,每个大概占文章15%, 然后还有15% 篇幅写为什么要选这个学校。

所以加起来80%是故事形式,20%是开头结尾。按照这样的脉络去组织故事的发展会让整篇文章变得非常流畅。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

“During my second year at Edinburgh University, I began to explore the field of environmental psychology and design. It was then that I settled upon my key research interest and future career goal: the design of facilities that make a positive difference in the lives of vulnerable groups such as children, teenagers and disabled people. I have since undertaken numerous projects that have allowed me to develop proficient research and design skills in this area.

10% 的开场白,说明为什么想要申请这个专业。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

Two of these projects focused on improving safety and generating more fun in children’s playgrounds. The second of these was volunteer work for an initiative entitled Think Play, and earned Scottish intellectual property rights for the design of ‘Scooter Clips’, which are now used to alleviate the problem of disorder among school bike racks. In another project, I redesigned a community centre cafeteria to make it more accessible and attractive to disabled, elderly, and impoverished people. This project was very well received for its efficiency and thoroughness.

This year my main project is to design an information centre and clinic that provides services to help people impacted by teenage pregnancy. The research conducted for this will also influence my end of year dissertation which focuses on techniques for creating a sense of privacy and security throughout public spaces, with particular emphasis on healthcare institutions.

这里讲述了2 个关于作者的项目的小故事。主要表现我的研究的重点和偏好于如何从环境设计入手,给人提供心理支持。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

The interaction between space and people, environmental psychology and design, fascinates me. As such, Cornell’s Design and Environmental Analysis program is a natural next step for me on the path to becoming an effective and successful practitioner of design.

After completing a Masters, my aim would be to undertake a PhD. at Cornell. No other university offers resources and expertise so tailored to my specific interests. Papers by Professors Maxwell, Evans and Hedge on ergonomics and the importance of physical environment have already shaped my understanding of how design can help improve children’s wellbeing and learning efficiency. I am also drawn by the opportunity to gain practical experience at Cornell by way of internship, teaching assistantship and particularly the CUErgo graduate research program.

这个段落主要讲述了作者为什么想申请这个学校,这个学校有什么优势。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

In preparing for a Masters at Cornell, I have undertaken an open study course in psychology throughout my second and third academic years at the University of Edinburgh. This has prepared me to make the most of what would be my chosen concentration - ‘Design for Special Populations’. My ultimate goal is to produce extensive research and analysis of children’s spaces and healthcare, then apply that knowledge to my design practice in order to benefit society. The work already done in this field by faculty members such as Associate Professor Nancy M. Wells has been an inspiration to me. Her study on the impact of school gardens on children’s physical activity sets an excellent precedent for what I would like to achieve in my own future work.

I am especially excited about the ‘Method of Observation/Analysis of Behavior’ area of the Special Populations concentration. Observation before design and the interpretation of non-verbal detail are two of my greatest strengths. They are influenced by my main hobby, travel, which I use to my advantage as a further means by which to explore where and how design can be used to improve situations. Photography and sketching are important methods for me to document observation, inspiration, and new knowledge from locals.

I have travelled Europe extensively (my footprints have been through Spain, Portugal, Ireland & Northern Ireland, Italy, Holland, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Hungary, Iceland and France). The differences between nations are often striking. Art galleries in Spain, for example, are casual and communicative spaces, whereas in Germany they take on a more formal, informative air. Recognizing cultural nuances such as this is of significant advantage to me as a future designer, since clients place a high value on experience and understanding. My own cross-cultural background contributes to my awareness of the importance of cultivating horizons that are as broad as possible.

主要的故事。主要讲述作者为什么喜欢观察人与空间,具体做了一些什么事情和研究。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

Over the last four years, studio-work has provided me with a great opportunity to learn not only from tutors, but also from other students of varying educational backgrounds. This has further widened my thoughts on design. Teamwork and communication with others is an important part of my studio-based course, which plays to my strengths since I am enthusiastic, easy-going and always willing to help others. This is one of many reasons that I am excited by the prospect of your design resource centre – a fantastic initiative both practically and socially. In short, I hope you will find that these skills, along with my current experience and education, make me a valuable and fitting candidate for Masters study at Cornell.

结尾处总结自己的优势,再次表达申请学校的决心和愿望。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

02 想出每个故事之间的联系和转折

在完成主体的故事梗概之后要想想这些故事之间的联系,如何很好的从上一个故事衔接到下一个故事。简单来说就是流畅的转移话题。

目前大家比较简单的方式就是换一个段落,然后开头说:此外、除了课程之外、除了以上以外等等。这些是比较简单的方式。

还有比较好的方式,就是这件事启发了你,然后接着这件事的经验,你又做了另外一件事情/项目。这个是很流畅的转话题的方式。就是由深入浅。

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

“During my undergraduate degree, I earned the opportunity to undertake an internship for an American company named Relativity Architects. During this time I learned about the Design Thinking method in human-centered design, which inspired me a lot. While working on checking the building code for a project, I found that according to US standards the space and utilities within a building for disabled people were strictly regulated, with even the sizes of utilities explicitly provided. The floor plans of these rooms needed to be done differently from normal rooms. The strict requirements surprised me to begin with, but when I explored this in more depth, I came to understand the regulations and truly feel the power of the design behind them. Thanks to these special designs, disabled people are now able to fully enjoy and benefit from the space and the activities hosted within it.

As well as conducting my internship, I also formed a team to participate in our university’s canteen design competition. As team leader, I directed my team through interviews with the client (a food vendor), with students, and with representatives from the university. We then summarized our findings and provided a design solution for the canteen. This was my first time engaging directly with the needs of users prior to the design process, and it required a great deal of communication throughout, thanks to the differing needs of multiple stakeholders. However, we successfully provided a solution that balanced all these needs, and presented this along with our rationale to all parties. In the end, our team won the competition, and our design has now been implemented to renovate the canteen. I relished this opportunity to pay close attention to the relationship between real people and their space, and the chance to influence this positively through design.

在我的本科学位期间,我有机会为一家名为Relativity Architects的美国公司实习。在这段时间里,我了解了以人为本的设计中的设计思维方法,这给我带来了很多启发。在检查项目的建筑规范时,我发现根据美国标准,建筑物内残疾人的空间和设施受到严格监管,甚至明确规定了公用设施的规模。这些房间的设计需要与普通空间不同。这些严格的要求让我感到惊讶,但是当我更深入地探讨这一点时,我开始理解规则并真正感受到设计背后的力量。由于这些特殊设计,残疾人现在能够充分享受空间和其中的活动并从中受益。

除了进行实习,我还组建了一个团队参加我们大学的食堂设计竞赛。作为团队领导,我指导我的团队与客户(食品供应商),学生以及大学代表进行面谈。然后,我们总结了我们的发现并为食堂提供了设计解决方案。这是我第一次在设计过程之前直接接触用户的需求,并且由于多个利益相关者的不同需求,它需要大量的沟通。但是,我们成功地提供了一个平衡所有这些需求的解决方案,并将其与我们的理由一起呈现给所有各方。最后,我们的团队赢得了比赛,我们的设计现已实施,以翻新食堂。我很高兴有机会密切关注人与的空间之间的关系,以及通过设计积极影响这种关系的机会。”

这个学生写的就是从她的是实习里,她初步了解到了以人为本的设计方式,人与空间的关系。后来她有一个机会去设计竞赛的时候,她开始运用这种方式设计。并且这个方式,就是她想在研究生的学习计划和目标。

还有一个方式是从一个方面说了一个故事,然后从另外一个方面说另外一个故事。比如:一个方面,你是一个热爱活动的人。所以你组织了一些竞赛活动。另一方面,你也是一个喜欢安静做研究/看书的。(需要补充一些活动和研究的细节,不能只是这样一说。)

素希艺术:深度解析设计与艺术类专业主文书写作法则【下篇】

03 修改文法,润色后完成终稿

最后再写完写完之后就剩下修改语法,和润色文笔。在文书创作的过程中,我们一定要保证它的逻辑是连贯的,有合理的情节并且没有语法错误。如果你的文书中有拼写、语法等小错误,会让招生官觉得你并没有一个端正的态度,你对待这件事情并不认真重视。

总的来说,一篇好的个人陈述需要讲述自己的故事,需要包含一定的细节以求让故事更加丰富和有画面感,一定要避免只说事实,不说故事&细节的写作手法。

最后,严谨认真的精神是必不可少的,保证自己方法正确的情况下,花在文书上面的时间,一定可以被招生官看见和感受到。


• end •

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