11 We should improve techniques of raising animals and reward the development of better breeds. In order to prevent and cure animal diseases and improve animal breeds, we should set up disease-prevention organizations and breeding statations in a planned way
提高技術的目的就是預防生病等，所以 in order to 可以去掉
另外，第一句講的是 breeds， 無關疾病。第二句則兩者兼具，如果要考慮用承上啟下的話，可以接著第一句的 breeds 講我們要計劃建 breeding stations, 然後提預防疾病
We should improve techniques of raising livestock and reward the development of better breeds. We should draw up plans for establishing breeding statations and centers for the prevention and treatment of animal diseases.
12 All this means that the advances in science and technology will decide fundamentatlly the progress of China's modernization and are an important matter on which hinges the future and destiny of our nation.
科學技術的進步決定現代化發展，科學技術對未來很重要。
用作者的話說，關乎未來的肯定是重要的不言而喻的，所以沒必要重複。
All this means that the advance in science and technology will basically determine the progress of China's modernization and that the revitalization of our nation hinges upon them
decide -> determine
revitalization: 復興
hinge upon : 依賴
13 Within the people's governments, the standard for judging whether a person who performs official duties is competent to handle financial and economic affaris is not merely that of embezzlement or honesty. The former is a crime, and the latter is essential. The principal standard is whether one is wasteful or not.
embezzlement: 挪用公款
a person who performs official duties, 囉嗦，有專用名詞的，比如 official，作者用了 cadre（黨政幹部。。。公職人員）。
embezzlement or honesty, the former....the latter, 正反對立，實際沒必要，正常人都知道兩者利害。不過作者的建議也不錯，出於強調作用，用了 of course 連接詞，說明這是眾所周知的事情，至少在心理上讓讀者覺得囉嗦。
In the people's governments, the criterion for judging if a cadre is competent to handle financial and economic affairs is not merely whether hi is honest or commits embezzlement. Of course, embezzlement is a crime and honest is indespensible, but the principal criterion is whether he is wasteful or not.
14 Private capital has to meet two conditions to make profits: First, illegal profits are not allowed, only legal profits are allowed Second, excessive profits are not acceptable, only reasonable profits are allowed
這段重複很明顯， are not...., are....。其實就兩點：要合法，不過度
To be allowed to make profits, private capital has to meet two conditions: 1) the profits must be legal, and 2) they must not be excessive.
15 Meanwhile, China began to export technology, which means that we are no longer restricted to importing technology.
開始出口本身就意味著不只限於進口。
由於是政府公文，所以作者的修改稿只是將 export 換了個說法：進入國際市場。
Meanwhile, China's technology began to enter the international market, which means that we are no longer restricted to importing technology.
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