Real men don't cry. We just get something in our eye
真正的男人不会哭。我们只是得到了一些东西
zhēn zhèng de nán rén bú huì kū 。wǒ men zhī shì dé dào le yī xiē dōng xī
A short walk from my house in Hampshire, on a hill overlooking the heathland, is a plaque1 marking the spot where Richard Pryce Jones deliberately2 crashed his Halifax bomber3 during the war. He could have parachuted to safety, but that would have meant crashing into the village. The epitaph reads: "He died that others might live."
从我在汉普郡的家走一小段路，在俯瞰荒野的小山上，有一块牌匾，标明在战争期间理查德·普赖斯·琼斯故意击落他的哈利法克斯轰炸机的地方。他本来可以跳伞到安全的地方，但那意味着要冲进村子里去。墓志铭写道：“他死了，其他人可能活下去。”
cóng wǒ zài hàn pǔ jun4 de jiā zǒu yī xiǎo duàn lù ，zài fǔ kàn huāng yě de xiǎo shān shàng ，yǒu yī kuài pái biǎn ，biāo míng zài zhàn zhēng qī jiān lǐ chá dé ·pǔ lài sī ·qióng sī gù yì jī luò tā de hā lì fǎ kè sī hōng zhà jī de dì fāng 。tā běn lái kě yǐ tiào sǎn dào ān quán de dì fāng ，dàn nà yì wèi zhe yào chōng jìn cūn zǐ lǐ qù 。mù zhì míng xiě dào ：“tā sǐ le ，qí tā rén kě néng huó xià qù 。”
It never fails to move me. Not to tears, you understand. That would be disrespectful. But I do usually manage a lump in the throat and that film of moisture over the eyes that men have in their emotional armoury. Gordon Brown demonstrated the non-crying cry beautifully when he made his farewell speech on the steps of Number 10. That catch in the throat. The determination not to weep in public. At that moment, if at no other, he had nobility.
它从未感动过我。不要流泪，你懂的。那是不敬的。但我通常会在喉咙和喉咙里的湿气中发现男人的情感武器。Gordon Brown在第10步的告别演说中表现出了不哭的叫声。那是喉咙里的东西。在公共场合不哭的决心。在那一刻，如果没有别的，他就有高贵。
tā cóng wèi gǎn dòng guò wǒ 。bú yào liú lèi ，nǐ dǒng de 。nà shì bú jìng de 。dàn wǒ tōng cháng huì zài hóu lóng hé hóu lóng lǐ de shī qì zhōng fā xiàn nán rén de qíng gǎn wǔ qì 。Gordon Brownzài dì 10bù de gào bié yǎn shuō zhōng biǎo xiàn chū le bú kū de jiào shēng 。nà shì hóu lóng lǐ de dōng xī 。zài gōng gòng chǎng hé bú kū de jué xīn 。zài nà yī kè ，rú guǒ méi yǒu bié de ，tā jiù yǒu gāo guì 。
Not everyone can carry it off. I don't think Paul Gascoigne ever quite got the hang of it, for example. But I like to think I have it down to an art, my technique honed from years of watching The Railway Children, Sleepless4 in Seattle and that scene in Dumbo when the mother elephant is locked away. "Daddy!" my sons will say, pointing the accusing finger. "You're crying!"
不是每个人都能做到的。例如，我认为保罗·加斯科因从来没有掌握过这方面的诀窍。但我想我把它归结为一种艺术，我的技巧是通过多年观看《铁道儿童》、《西雅图失眠》和《邓波》中母象被锁起来的场景而磨练出来的。爸爸！”我的儿子会指着指责的手指说。你哭了！”
bú shì měi gè rén dōu néng zuò dào de 。lì rú ，wǒ rèn wéi bǎo luó ·jiā sī kē yīn cóng lái méi yǒu zhǎng wò guò zhè fāng miàn de jué qiào 。dàn wǒ xiǎng wǒ bǎ tā guī jié wéi yī zhǒng yì shù ，wǒ de jì qiǎo shì tōng guò duō nián guān kàn 《tiě dào ér tóng 》、《xī yǎ tú shī mián 》hé 《dèng bō 》zhōng mǔ xiàng bèi suǒ qǐ lái de chǎng jǐng ér mó liàn chū lái de 。bà bà ！”wǒ de ér zǐ huì zhǐ zhe zhǐ zé de shǒu zhǐ shuō 。nǐ kū le ！”
"Me? Over Dumbo? Ha ha ha. No, boys, what I am doing is man-crying, a sort of non-crying cry. I'll teach you it one day. Very useful."
“我？超过Dumbo？哈哈哈。不，孩子们，我在做的是男人哭，一种不哭的叫声。总有一天我会教你的。非常有用。”
“wǒ ？chāo guò Dumbo？hā hā hā 。bú ，hái zǐ men ，wǒ zài zuò de shì nán rén kū ，yī zhǒng bú kū de jiào shēng 。zǒng yǒu yī tiān wǒ huì jiāo nǐ de 。fēi cháng yǒu yòng 。”
They are too young to appreciate the nuance5 yet, but when they are older I will explain that open sobbing6 is associated with being female, and so inappropriate for men. The Charlie Chaplin analogy might be useful here. He once said that the way to act drunk is to imagine yourself a drunk man trying to act sober. The same is true when a man learns the non-crying cry. To be convincing, you must look as if you are trying to avoid tears.
他们还太年轻，还不能领略其中的细微差别，但是当他们长大后，我会解释说，公开哭泣和女性有关，所以不适合男性。Charlie Chaplin的比喻在这里可能有用。他曾经说过，喝醉的方式是想象自己是一个酒鬼，试图表现清醒。当一个人学会了不哭的哭声也是如此。要令人信服，你必须看起来像是在试图避免眼泪。
tā men hái tài nián qīng ，hái bú néng lǐng luè qí zhōng de xì wēi chà bié ，dàn shì dāng tā men zhǎng dà hòu ，wǒ huì jiě shì shuō ，gōng kāi kū qì hé nǚ xìng yǒu guān ，suǒ yǐ bú shì hé nán xìng 。Charlie Chaplinde bǐ yù zài zhè lǐ kě néng yǒu yòng 。tā céng jīng shuō guò ，hē zuì de fāng shì shì xiǎng xiàng zì jǐ shì yī gè jiǔ guǐ ，shì tú biǎo xiàn qīng xǐng 。dāng yī gè rén xué huì le bú kū de kū shēng yě shì rú cǐ 。yào lìng rén xìn fú ，nǐ bì xū kàn qǐ lái xiàng shì zài shì tú bì miǎn yǎn lèi 。
In this respect, it is important for a young man to appreciate the difference between male tears and female. I remember once asking the actress Emilia Fox if she could cry at will, right there and then, over lunch. To my astonishment7, she could – from a standing8 start. Fat tears rolling down her cheeks. When she had finished, she resumed her smiling countenance9.
在这方面，重要的是年轻人要欣赏男性眼泪与女性的区别。我记得有一次，我问女演员艾米丽雅·福克斯，她是否可以随心所欲地哭，就在那里吃午饭。令我惊讶的是，她能从一开始就开始。她泪流满面。当她说完后，她又恢复了笑容。
zài zhè fāng miàn ，zhòng yào de shì nián qīng rén yào xīn shǎng nán xìng yǎn lèi yǔ nǚ xìng de qū bié 。wǒ jì dé yǒu yī cì ，wǒ wèn nǚ yǎn yuán ài mǐ lì yǎ ·fú kè sī ，tā shì fǒu kě yǐ suí xīn suǒ yù dì kū ，jiù zài nà lǐ chī wǔ fàn 。lìng wǒ jīng yà de shì ，tā néng cóng yī kāi shǐ jiù kāi shǐ 。tā lèi liú mǎn miàn 。dāng tā shuō wán hòu ，tā yòu huī fù le xiào róng 。
Those are female tears, and the reason you never hear anyone say: "It's enough to make a grown woman cry." That expression only works when it refers to "grown men" and though that may seem tautological10, the "grown" is justified11. Not all men are grown. The emotionally incontinent exhibitionists who cry when they are kicked off talent shows such as The X Factor are not grown men, for example. Men have to be careful what they cry at, because some subjects are more worthy12 of tears than others. Grief, obviously. But not self-pity. And rarely should a man cry in pain. And never at the death of a princess he didn't know. Those are the rules.
这些是女性的眼泪，所以你从来没听人说：“让成年女性哭就足够了。”这个表达只有在提到“成年男性”时才有效，虽然这看起来像是同义反复，但“成年”是合理的。不是所有的男人都长大了。例如，《X因素》等才艺节目开演时，情绪失控的表演者会哭，但他们不是成年人。男人必须小心他们哭什么，因为有些科目比其他人更值得流泪。悲伤，很明显。但不是自怜。很少有人在痛苦中哭泣。而且永远不会在一个他不认识的公主的死。这些就是规则。
zhè xiē shì nǚ xìng de yǎn lèi ，suǒ yǐ nǐ cóng lái méi tīng rén shuō ：“ràng chéng nián nǚ xìng kū jiù zú gòu le 。”zhè gè biǎo dá zhī yǒu zài tí dào “chéng nián nán xìng ”shí cái yǒu xiào ，suī rán zhè kàn qǐ lái xiàng shì tóng yì fǎn fù ，dàn “chéng nián ”shì hé lǐ de 。bú shì suǒ yǒu de nán rén dōu zhǎng dà le 。lì rú ，《Xyīn sù 》děng cái yì jiē mù kāi yǎn shí ，qíng xù shī kòng de biǎo yǎn zhě huì kū ，dàn tā men bú shì chéng nián rén 。nán rén bì xū xiǎo xīn tā men kū shí me ，yīn wéi yǒu xiē kē mù bǐ qí tā rén gèng zhí dé liú lèi 。bēi shāng ，hěn míng xiǎn 。dàn bú shì zì lián 。hěn shǎo yǒu rén zài tòng kǔ zhōng kū qì 。ér qiě yǒng yuǎn bú huì zài yī gè tā bú rèn shí de gōng zhǔ de sǐ 。zhè xiē jiù shì guī zé 。
I suspect my colleague Matt Pritchett might be with me on this. One of his cartoons this past week showed a father next to a television tuned13 to the World Cup, explaining to his children that "at some point in the next few weeks, you are going to see me cry". And the day after the last survivor14 of the Great Escape died, he did a cartoon showing a gravestone with a mound15 of tunnelled earth trailing away from it. I seemed to have something in my eye when I saw that, and I expect he had the same something in his eye when he drew it.
我怀疑我的同事Matt Pritchett可能会和我在一起。上周，他的一部卡通片展示了一位父亲坐在一台收看世界杯的电视机旁，向他的孩子们解释道：“在未来几周的某个时候，你们会看到我哭。”在大逃亡的最后一个幸存者死后的第二天，他画了一幅卡通画，上面画着一块墓碑，墓碑后面有一座土坑。当我看到它的时候，我的眼睛里好像有什么东西，我想他画的时候眼睛里也有同样的东西。
wǒ huái yí wǒ de tóng shì Matt Pritchettkě néng huì hé wǒ zài yī qǐ 。shàng zhōu ，tā de yī bù kǎ tōng piàn zhǎn shì le yī wèi fù qīn zuò zài yī tái shōu kàn shì jiè bēi de diàn shì jī páng ，xiàng tā de hái zǐ men jiě shì dào ：“zài wèi lái jǐ zhōu de mǒu gè shí hòu ，nǐ men huì kàn dào wǒ kū 。”zài dà táo wáng de zuì hòu yī gè xìng cún zhě sǐ hòu de dì èr tiān ，tā huà le yī fú kǎ tōng huà ，shàng miàn huà zhe yī kuài mù bēi ，mù bēi hòu miàn yǒu yī zuò tǔ kēng 。dāng wǒ kàn dào tā de shí hòu ，wǒ de yǎn jīng lǐ hǎo xiàng yǒu shí me dōng xī ，wǒ xiǎng tā huà de shí hòu yǎn jīng lǐ yě yǒu tóng yàng de dōng xī 。
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