I think Gordon Hayward kinda wanted a boy...
我觉得海沃德是真想生个男孩……
视频：海沃德听闻第三个孩子又是女儿，敷衍态度一目了然（时长38秒）>>
对话：
妻子：准备好了吗？快跟爸爸说“爹地可以帮帮我（打开箱子）嘛？”
女儿：帮我一下。
海沃德：好的。
海沃德：哇…………………………哦………哦……
妻子：你想要女儿吗？
海沃德：bernie（海沃德的小女儿）你猜对了。
妻子：爸爸高兴嘛？
海沃德：爸爸一直都高兴……
[–]Dom_Olivares 4055 指標 4 天前
Somebody said “Would’ve been a boy if you stayed in Utah” let the man live lol
这条Ins底下的评论：“海沃德要是留在犹他的话生的就是男孩了！”
哈哈哈放过这个男人吧。
[–]Celticsduckfubstep 459 指標 4 天前
I saw that too. Poor guy lmao.
我也看到了。哈哈哈真可怜。
[–]ClippersArkitektnz 844 指標 4 天前
Not called salt lake city for nothing.
犹他被称作“盐”湖城不是没有原因的。[译注1]
[译注1]在英语语境中，salty（咸）指代嫉妒和耿耿于怀的心态。跟中文中的“酸”恰好是一个意思。
[–][UTA] Joe Inglesksmith944 222 指標 4 天前
Maybe, but it's 100% accurate. Butterfly effect bitch. Science.
爵士球迷：我们可能确实还在酸，但这话完全没毛病。蝴蝶效应懂不懂啊，这是科学！
[–]MavericksPeskyBandAid 1279 指標 4 天前
damn 3 kids in 3 years holy fuck
卧槽三年仨娃，搞什么。
[–]VicVinegar-Bodyguard 921 指標 4 天前
/#noneofthemwereplanned
That was the real wtf.
（他妻子在Ins中提到）#没有一个（孩子）是计划之中的
这才是真正让我膛目结舌的地方。
[–][TOR] DeMar DeRozanDeRusselDeWestbrook 651 指標 4 天前
Hayward is Dwight but mono*河蟹*us
海沃德不过是感情专一的魔兽罢了。
[–]KnicksDirtyLukeAndTheBoys 157 指標 4 天前
Pull out game weak as fuck
海沃德这拔出来的功夫也太菜得抠脚了。
[–]norse95 200 指標 4 天前
Smh Gobert really can't block everything I guess
哎，看来戈贝尔也不是什么都能防住啊。
[–]Wizardseatapenny 128 指標 4 天前
Which explains 3 kids so quickly.
I don't think I could raise 3 kids that young at once.
原来都没有备孕计划，所以这么快就生仨孩子也说得通了。
我觉得我在那样年轻的年纪可养不起三个孩子。
[–]Mavericks90sDanceMix 307 指標 4 天前
"we just fuck and see what happens"
I mean when you make as much money as an NBA player I guess that's alright
“我们就是随便干干，看看会发生啥。”
我觉得吧，要是你能挣到NBA球员那么多钱的话，其实也没什么关系型。
[–]Galaxy-Hitchhiker 360 指標 4 天前
Never have more than one kid in diapers at once
谨记一条人生法则：永远不要一口气养超过一个穿尿布大的孩子。
[–][MIL] Sterling Brownbut_then_i_got_highh 315 指標 4 天前
while that's a much more stress-free tactic, it'll probably be cool for the girls to all grow up together at the same time.
楼上说的确实是给父母减压的好策略。不过闺女们一起长大的画面也挺棒的。
[–]Lakersfields 489 指標 4 天前
Sure and some epic fights once they're all teens
是是是，当她们进入青春期后，你就等着看她们撕得不可开交吧。
[–][MIL] Sterling Brownbut_then_i_got_highh 179 指標 4 天前
yeah but those sibling fights are inevitable no matter the age haha. with the exception of there being a huuge age gap
是啊，但兄弟姐妹间的打打闹闹是不可避免的嘛，这无关年龄，哈哈哈！除非孩子们之间的年龄差很大。
[–]Warriorsjohnnygrant 127 指標 4 天前
huge age gap tends to mean they are more one-sided which I think is easier to mediate and handle.
The level playing field ones are the toughest.
年龄差距大的话就会一边倒了，这样反而容易调解和劝架。
势均力敌是最难处理的。
[–]76erssentNoods 3984 指標 4 天前
"Daddy's always happy"
I've laid down the same lie Gordon, I get it.
“爸爸一直都高兴……”。
我也撒过一样的谎，海沃德，我懂你。
[–][GSW] Purvis ShortDishavingfun 1497 指標 4 天前
That’s why daddy loves his night time drink that’s only for adults.
这就是爸爸喜欢夜间独自一人饮酒醉的原因。专属的成人时光。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 925 指標 4 天前*
My girls call it daddy juice.
This is not a joke and I mean nothing perverted by this comment just to be completely clear.
我闺女把这称作“爸爸汁”。
这不是开玩笑，而且我也没暗示什么猥琐的事情，我觉得得说清楚一下。
Edit: I know people below are saying I shouldn’t have even brought it up but we know on Reddit if you don’t fully explain yourself things get misinterpreted and I wasn’t going to take that chance where my kids are concerned.
编辑：我知道楼下会说我不该提起这个，但你们也都知道在话题区里如果不说清楚就会被人曲解意思，而且这涉及我的孩子，我是不会冒险让大家误会我的。
[–][DAL] Yi Jianlianjackmakesblackjacks 1523 指標 4 天前
Some things are better left unsaid
有些事还是不说为好啊兄弟……
[–]Mavericksryanbillya 295 指標 4 天前
One of the more appropriate times I've seen that said.
支持楼上。“沉默是金”用在这里可以说是很恰当了。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 225 指標 4 天前
Maybe but my girls do it and it’s not perverted and I think the males amongst us who aren’t 100% pervs, admittedly a small group, and who are fathers will somewhat get a kick out of it.
I just honestly wrote the comment out and then was like, fuck to have to clearify that...
也许吧。但我闺女真的会这么说，而且一点也没有猥琐的意思。而且我觉得这里的男性也不都那么思想猥琐吧……虽然说不猥琐的JR是小部分，但是我还以为咱这里当爹的JR听了我的那个故事后能开怀大笑一下呢。
说实话我写那条评论后就感觉不对劲，必须得解释一下。
Apple juice, orange juice, daddy juice. Pretty clearly something a kid would come up with.
苹果汁、橙汁、爸爸汁……这是孩子们自然而然能想到的事情。
[–]BlackHandSerb 230 指標 4 天前
You’re on a forum where 90% of the people engaged in conversations are still teenagers (and some mentally)
这破区90%都是青少年（还有一些心智像青少年的成年人）。
[–]thrownons291 1349 指標 4 天前
"Mission failed we'll get em next time"
“任务失败，下次再逮他们。”[译注2]
[译注2]：出自《使命召唤：现代战争3》。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 1354 指標 4 天前
Lmaooo his reaction is cracking me up. I feel his pain man. 4th times the charm hopefully
湖人球迷：哈哈哈哈哈哈海沃德的反应真是笑死我了。我懂你的心酸。希望事不过三吧……
[–]Wolves Bandwagongrpocz 116 指標 4 天前
Curry did it, Kobe and Gordon T.T
库里成功了，科比和海沃德含泪点灭。
[–]76ersfybertas 67 指標 4 天前
Kobe going for no.4 as well
科比也要尝试第四次了。
[–][LAL] Nick YoungTheChipiboy 151 指標 4 天前
Dont worry Kobe always shows up in the 4th
湖人球迷：别担心，科比总是会在第四节站出来。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 333 指標 4 天前
Not for my grandpa
对我姥爷无效。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 155 指標 4 天前
Damm did he go for 5? Lol
湖人球迷：卧槽难道他尝试了五次吗？？哈哈。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 330 指標 4 天前
Well his and my grandma’s first child was a son but died at 2 months old on Valentine’s Day. The next four kids lived but where all girls.
我姥爷和姥姥生下的第一个孩子是个男孩，但两个月大时就在情人节那天夭折了。那之后的四个孩子都活了下来，都是女孩。
He was a great grandpa to me and was basically my dad when my Mom and Dad got divorced. Taught me everything I know about sports. Was a WWII veteran and retired from the Navy AND a railroad job after he left the service.
That man deserved a son if anyone ever did
他对我而言是一个伟大的姥爷，而且在我父母离婚后基本扮演了我父亲的角色。教给我所有体育知识。他是一名二战老兵，从海军退伍后去从事了铁路工作。
这个男人值得拥有一个儿子啊！
[–]Lakersdr3wd3zi 215 指標 4 天前
Sounds to me like the son he deserved was you!
Edit: I totally implied that you are of the male variety. Apologies if you aren’t!
听起来他值得拥有的那个儿子就是你啊！
编辑：我下意识地认为你是男性，如果不是的话我向你道歉！
[–]WasteOffer 2314 指標 4 天前*
Gordon Hayward: 3 time confirmed sex haver
戈登-海沃德：官方认证三次*河蟹*经历拥有者。
[–]klawhileonard 694 指標 4 天前
This man fucksthreetimes
这兄弟做了整整三次呢！
[–]Warriorstoothbud 432 指標 4 天前
[OC] Is Gordon's dick a dynasty?
[OC]：戈登-海沃德的老二已建立一个王朝？
[–]RocketsRiskRegsiter 175 指標 4 天前
Tbh his wife looking fly for having kids at that high rate too
说实话他老婆在如此高的生娃频率下看起来气色还不错。
[–]fabosexy 172 指標 4 天前
She's like 24 years old lol
哈哈她貌似只有24岁。
[–]ThunderStrange1130 150 指標 4 天前
damn I did not believe that, so I looked it up -- she is 23 just turned 23 a few months ago. Imagine having 3 babies by then, damn.
She graduated HS in 2013 and now I feel like an old fuck. Stay off my lawn.
哇我之前还真不敢相信，所以我查了一下，她几个月前刚满23岁。在23岁的时候已经有三个孩子了……你们体会一下。
她2013年才高中毕业，我感觉我相比之下跟个老头子一样。让我静静。
Also I mean it is clearly working for them and whatever so who am I to judge but when I go out with girls that young I can't help but think how immature they are and that I could never seriously date them haha
而且我也知道他俩日子过得很好，我也没资格评判什么。但当我和那么年轻的姑娘出去玩耍，我忍不住会觉得她们还很懵懂无知，我就不会忍心去和她们约会了。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookB4IFURU-18 1430 指標 4 天前
That seemed kind of depressing. What the fuck
海沃德这表情衰的很啊。我了个艹。
[–][OKC] Robert SwiftCheapsBreh 1070 指標 4 天前
It is. He has to make the decision now. Another kid..... Or no more and I never get a boy.
是啊，海沃德需要做出抉择了。是再生一个呢……还是再也不生了，但这样永远也不会有儿子了。
[–]Jazznotdoctorjerome 341 指標 4 天前
My grandpa tried that. He never got that son, but ended up with 7 daughters.
我姥爷就这么尝试过了，他最终生了7个闺女，也没生出一个儿子。
[–]ThunderTOMAHAWK_____CHOP 199 指標 4 天前
Dear god. That poor poor man.
我的苍天。太可怜太可怜了。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 560 指標 4 天前
Gotta keep going until you get a boy
得继续生下去直到生出儿子啊！
[–]ClippersEddy209Part2 631 指標 4 天前
It is 2034. Gordon Hayward is the new star of 18 kids and counting.
2034年，戈登-海沃德是18个孩子的明星父亲，而传奇仍在继续。
[–][GSW] JaVale McGeeashwinr136 446 指標 4 天前
He never really did leave Utah
他从没真正离开犹他。[译注3]
[译注3]犹他大部分人都是摩门教徒，家庭庞大孩子众多，且很封建教条。
[–]Celticsianandris 154 指標 4 天前
You can take Hayward out of Utah, but you can never take the Utah out of Hayward.
凯尔特人球迷：你可以从犹他带走海沃德，但无法带走海沃德身体中的犹他血脉。
[–][CHI] Lauri MarkkanenInMyG4OverTheSea 304 指標 4 天前
I don't know but it seemed like he already knew and the reveal was for the kids and social media. That sounded like the classic "dad faking surprise for children" voice
我不太清楚，但看起来海沃德已经知道孩子的性别了，只是在向孩子们和社交媒体做做样子。他的声音听起来就像经典的“爸爸为了孩子假装很惊喜”的声音。
[–]RaptorsDenzelOntario 246 指標 4 天前
I don’t the wife would say “is Daddy happy?” if that were the case. I think he was genuinely underwhelmed.
如果是这样的话，那我不觉得她媳妇还会问一句“爸爸开心吗？”
我觉得他是真的有些失望。
[–]themanyfaceasian 165 指標 4 天前
I for real thought he put his baby in that box... under those balloons. whew
我点开视频之前，还真觉得海沃德把他的新生儿放到了那个箱子里，放在气球下面……
[–]BucksFrogman417 372 指標 4 天前
I mean, he is disappointed in not getting a son, but I still think he's excited, some people just don't get as visually excited as others do. And just looking at Hayward's posts, he seems kinda chill like this a lot.
我觉得吧，他失望宝宝不是个男孩，但他应该还是很兴奋的。有些人的兴奋就是不会像其他人那样肉眼可见。你可以看看海沃德以前发的Ins，他经常这样面无表情的潇洒。
[–]CelticsTheGameDoneChanged 129 指標 4 天前
Yeah if you follow him or her on Instagram, this seems to be how he reacts to pretty much everything...
凯尔特人球迷：是的，如果你关注了他和他老婆的Instagram，就会发现这就是他对于所有事情的一般反应。
[–]CelticsSanchoLoamsdown 207 指標 4 天前
The only time he is really animated is when they need to do bath time so he can play video games.
凯尔特人球迷：海沃德唯一一次看起来很开心是那次孩子们要洗澡澡，这样他就有时间玩电子游戏了。
[–]Warriorskillingit12 157 指標 4 天前
He probably thinks that these gender reveal things are fucking dumb like every other male, but is having to go along with it anyway. I feel you, Gordon.
海沃德多半是像其他所有男性一样，认为这种揭露性别的仪式巨特么愚蠢，但还是得默默忍受着，我可太懂你了兄弟。
閱讀更多 ridiculous 的文章
