在瑞詩凱詩(印度最主要的瑜伽靜修聖地）參加這次培訓，我與200名準備成為新瑜伽老師的學生交流。Being in Rishikesh on this training, I interact with a ton of 200 hr students who are preparing to become new teachers.
當我聽到他們表示擔心和憂慮，憂慮自己的第一次施教，我忍不住笑了，因為我在反思我自己的旅程。我害怕當我第一次開始講課時，那些日子，當我得知必須在導師面前獻醜時，我非常懼怕。As I listen to them express their worries Å angst of teaching for the first time- i can't help but to smile in recognition of that fear as I reflect on my own journey.I was TERRIFIED to teach when I first began.And I absolutely dreaded those days in YTT when I knew we'd have to practice teach in front of our instructors.
有些時候，當我走到前面的時候，我會害怕被恐懼所嚇倒。即使在完成課程之後，我也讓這種恐懼統治了我很長時間。我自己的壓力會讓班級死氣沉沉。There were times I would literally black out with fear the moment I stepped to the front.And I let this fear rule me for quite a long time even after I completed the course.My own stress suffocated any joy that might result from leading a class.
我實際上越來越不喜歡這個教學過程，因為我不得不將它與那種極度恐慌和焦慮的感覺聯繫起來; 自我懷疑。我討厭聽自己的聲音連續一個小時。我不停地想，“如果它不夠好怎麼辦？如果人們不喜歡我給予的東西會怎麼樣？”我站在自己的立場上無法自拔。I actually grew to really dislike the teaching processal together, as I couldn't help but to associate it with that feeling of extreme panic Å self-doubt.I hated listening to the sound of my own voice for an hour straight.I couldn't stop thinking, "what if it's not good enough?What if people don't like what I have to offer?"I absolutely &completely stood in my own way.
因為這樣，這並非我想要教的東西，我捫心自問？ 一天晚上，我在一次特別強大的冥想中意識到這一點，似乎突然間揭開了一層面紗 - 我覺得我終於看清了情況。And for that, I wasn't practicing what I was meant to be teaching, was I? I came to this realization during an especially powerful meditation one evening &as if a veil had suddenly been lifted-I felt that I was finally looking at the situation clearly.
我接受了一個事實，我的學員來了第一次就不來了，因為我的風格根本不會和每個人產生共鳴。這超出了我的控制範圍，我能控制什麼呢？盡我所能。創造一個安全的環境和安全的序列，讓人們探索自己的每一個方面。最重要的是，毫無保留的展示給我的學員。I accepted the fact that there WILL be people who will come to my class once & then never again-because my style simply won't resonate with everyone. That's out of my control.What's in my control? To do my best.To create a safe environment & safe sequences for people to explore every aspect of themselves.And most importantly- to show up completely for my students.
我意識到了所有這些——我能做到。我做到了。現在，我對教學的熱情遠遠超出了我的想象。同個人實踐一樣，它是富有挑戰性的、有價值的、絕對是無限的。別誤會我的意思，我還是時不時會感到緊張。I realized that all of these things- I can do.And so I did.Now, my passion for teaching exceeds well beyond what I ever imagined it to be.The same as a personal practice- it's challenging,rewarding & absolutely limitless.Don't get me wrong, I still get nervous from time to time.
但是，我只是設法改變了我對這種反應的看法，我仍相信緊張是好事，因為這意味著你在乎。But the thing is, l've just managed to change my perspective on this reaction instead.I believe that being nervous is good, because it means that you CARE.
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