今天来给大家讲几个英文小段子，既经典又搞笑，赶快来看吧！
2. I hate two-faced people.It's so hard to decide which face to slap first.我最恨两面派，因为我不知道先扇哪边的脸，这让我很为难。
3.When a woman says “WHAT?”, it’s not because she didn't hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said.当一个女人说“什么？”，这不是因为她没听见你说什么。她只是在给你一个机会来收回你刚刚所说的话。
4. When people call you photogenic, they're actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics.当人们说你真上镜时，他们其实是想告诉你：你本人看起来比照片丑多了。
5. People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.人们说笑容是最好的良药。你的脸一定能治愈全世界。
7. Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, and don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition.不要偷，不要撒谎，不要欺骗，不要贩毒。因为（美国）政府痛恨有人和它竞争。
8. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.婚姻是这样一种关系，一个人永远是对的，另一个人是丈夫。
9. Sometimes you just need some space...to fart.有时你只是需要一些空间……来放屁！
10. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?他们说爱比金钱更重要，但是你是否试过用一个拥抱来付你的账？
11. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”当我临终之时，我希望我的最后遗言是“我留了一百万美金，放在了……”
12. I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice.我总是从那些听了我的建议之后犯错的人哪里吸取经验教训。
13. The longer the title the less important the job.职位名称越长，工作内容越不重要。
14. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.借钱就要向悲观主义者借，因为他们不会期待你还钱。
15. A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?” The trainer replies: “Use the ATM.”一个人问健身房里的教练：“我想给那个漂亮的女孩留个好印象，用哪个器械比较好？” 教练说：“用取款机比较好。”
16. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.今天早上当我正开着法拉利的时候，闹钟叫醒了我。
17. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
每个人都有一个让人烦的朋友。如果你没有这样的朋友的话，你可能就是那个人。
18. I love acting. It is so much more real than life.我喜欢看戏。与人生相比，戏剧更加真实。
19. I hate maths, but I love counting money.我讨厌数学，但我喜欢数钱。
20. How do people write an auto biography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.人们是怎么写出一本自传的？我好不容易才记住昨天午餐吃了什么。
大家有什么压箱底儿的笑话吗？快和大家一起分享下吧！
你想知道还有哪些流行潮话题吗？
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